Shy people - Social skills are exactly that... a SKILL!

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
I just wanted to share some thoughts I've been having because I see so many people on here who find social situations excruciatingly awkward. I'm not saying this will help everyone but might help a couple people. And sorry if you think I'm pointing out the obvious but this wasn't obvious to me when I was still in my shy stage!

I used to be really shy during school and after I left I managed to make lots of friends and now shy is the last word I would describe myself as! When I say shy I mean I literally have 1 friend from school that I am still very close to and pretty much everyone else I barely said a word to because I was so shy. I've recently been thinking about this (even though it's 6 years since I left school) and what changed. I used to think I was such a loser at school and no one would like me even if I did speak. I had very low confidence in my personality. I thought that it was just who I was and would never change because it was just how I was born. When I left school I moved to a new town to start a job where it was very difficult to meet people. I realised if I wanted friends I would have to make an effort. I was also tired of having basically no real friends. It was lonely and no matter how I kidded myself it was not what I wanted. I met someone in a class I took ( spanish class) and forced myself to speak to them even if it was really dumb. I asked loads of questions so the spotlight was really on them. My biggest trouble at school was not knowing what to say, my mind was always blank... so let the other person speak instead! This person is still one of my best and dearest friends to this day. Through them I met others and using this tactic of asking questions and realising people actually respond well to me and didn't think I was a complete idiot allowed me to gain confidence and open up more. I had gone from barely speaking to anyone except my small friendship group at school and my family.. to speaking to a lot of people and PRACTISING speaking to a lot of people more importantly. It allowed me to realise by speaking to as many people as possible and practising my social skills everything became so so so easy.

I guess my message is bite the bullet and just open your mouth and say something, anything. Don't hide away behind the shy cover and hope people don't see you. Speak to more and more people and practise this very important skill. 9/10 people aren't going to think the worst of you and if they do... well there's so many more people out there!

Now meeting new people is one of my favourite things, I have a lot of very close friends that mean a lot to me and this has made my life so much better. I never would have imagined that I would be here 10 years ago.
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Leftee
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Report 4 years ago
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I almost enjoyed reading that as much as you did writing it.
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Maker
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Report 4 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just wanted to share some thoughts I've been having because I see so many people on here who find social situations excruciatingly awkward. I'm not saying this will help everyone but might help a couple people. And sorry if you think I'm pointing out the obvious but this wasn't obvious to me when I was still in my shy stage!

I used to be really shy during school and after I left I managed to make lots of friends and now shy is the last word I would describe myself as! When I say shy I mean I literally have 1 friend from school that I am still very close to and pretty much everyone else I barely said a word to because I was so shy. I've recently been thinking about this (even though it's 6 years since I left school) and what changed. I used to think I was such a loser at school and no one would like me even if I did speak. I had very low confidence in my personality. I thought that it was just who I was and would never change because it was just how I was born. When I left school I moved to a new town to start a job where it was very difficult to meet people. I realised if I wanted friends I would have to make an effort. I was also tired of having basically no real friends. It was lonely and no matter how I kidded myself it was not what I wanted. I met someone in a class I took ( spanish class) and forced myself to speak to them even if it was really dumb. I asked loads of questions so the spotlight was really on them. My biggest trouble at school was not knowing what to say, my mind was always blank... so let the other person speak instead! This person is still one of my best and dearest friends to this day. Through them I met others and using this tactic of asking questions and realising people actually respond well to me and didn't think I was a complete idiot allowed me to gain confidence and open up more. I had gone from barely speaking to anyone except my small friendship group at school and my family.. to speaking to a lot of people and PRACTISING speaking to a lot of people more importantly. It allowed me to realise by speaking to as many people as possible and practising my social skills everything became so so so easy.

I guess my message is bite the bullet and just open your mouth and say something, anything. Don't hide away behind the shy cover and hope people don't see you. Speak to more and more people and practise this very important skill. 9/10 people aren't going to think the worst of you and if they do... well there's so many more people out there!

Now meeting new people is one of my favourite things, I have a lot of very close friends that mean a lot to me and this has made my life so much better. I never would have imagined that I would be here 10 years ago.
Too shy to reveal your identity, ironic.
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