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    So has anyone gotten back with an ex after a break up? Has it worked out the second time for you?
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    Yes, twice, stupidly enough.

    No didn't work out as well as I thought it would. For the most part, I'd say it's probably doomed to go downhill, unless the reason you initially broke up was something neither could control. Moving away for example, and secondly, for it to work out requires serious mutual effort. From my experience anyway.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    So has anyone gotten back with an ex after a break up? Has it worked out the second time for you?
    Yepper. Broke up after a year, and then got back together and lasted another two years. Although we were actually better together for the two years after the break up, I kinda wish we had just stayed broken up - we were young and in retrospect I feel like I could have been doing more normal teenage things than being in such an intense relationship. This is just a personal opinion/reflection though
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    Yeah when I was at uni, I split up with my gf of the time just before the end of term in December, and it ruined my Christmas. It took me by surprise. I'd felt the relationship was going well and the break up came out of the blue, she just went cold and announced that she wanted to concentrate on other things and "maybe we should just leave it".

    I went back for the holidays, had assignments to do, exams to prepare for and all the time was this shadow hanging over me about having split up. At first I was wallowing in self-pity, thinking I'd never again meet anyone as amazing, and analysing in my head the last few times we'd done stuff together to try and look for any signals that all wasn't well and think could anything be put right. The only contact I had with her was a brief chat on msn just before Christmas which was basically, happy Christmas, what are you up to, cool, have a good one, but that little chat brought so many emotions it flattened me for days.

    Then I started to deal with it by just wishing. I thought that if I wished hard enough, the universe would make my dreams come true and give me another chance with her. I came up with all these resolutions in my head of stuff I was going to do to make myself a better person, if I did this and that she would realise what she was missing and come back to me. Maybe it was crazy but at least it was spurring me to positive action not sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

    Anyway the next term started, I was out one night and I saw her out, dancing with this other guy. Cue being crushed and depressed again for the next few days. I had convinced myself in my head that she had moved on and got a new boyfriend. Reluctantly I realised I had to let go, she wasn't coming back, and I'd need to move on and be open to other people.

    Then a few weeks later, end of February, I saw her in a bar and she waved and, having moved on a little bit, I felt able to go up and have a brief chat. Well that brief chat ended up being all night and going back to hers. That guy she'd been out with wasn't a date or anything he was just a male platonic friend. She apologised for being so hasty in splitting up, she said she'd been stressed with uni work and various things and thought being single would be better but then when we met up again she wanted to get back together.

    Still to this day I regard that as one of the most unbelievable, unexpected events of my life - back when I was so gutted and down about it I never would have believed how easily just a chance encounter would lead to us getting on so well and naturally getting back together.

    So we were back together and I thought this is all my dreams come true, how amazing was that, must be fate, must be meant to be.

    Except it wasn't quite as much of a rom-com happy ending as that. A couple of things nagged at me. Although I tried to surpress it, the fact that I'd already started to move on before this happened made me feel uneasily like I was taking a step backwards in some way, to go back to her.

    But more so than that, I was carrying the scars of all the stress and bad feelings I'd suffered over Christmas which were down to her, and that blew away a lot of the romantic notion of our relationship being perfect. I kind of held her responsible for all that hurt, and it rankled that she'd decided "ok I want to be single now", caused me all that upset, and then decided "oh hey didn't expect to see you here, oh why don't we get back together then". There felt like a bit of flippancy involved that I didn't like and it meant second time round I was more guarded with her and I kept a slight distance.

    Then came the biggest realisation of all. In the immediate aftermath of our break up I had idealised our relationship, and idealised her as this ultimate vision of perfection, Now I started to notice things. She had a tendency to be rude and stroppy - not with me but with other people. If we had to queue for a club she always tried to push in and got mouthy with the bouncers. If we got a taxi she tried to haggle the driver down and ranted about how unreasonable he was. I began to wonder secretly what would have happened had I not met her that night....would I have moved on and be going out with someone else now? I also had started to fancy a girl from my course.

    In the end we stuttered on for about 5 or 6 weeks and then I suggested ending it, I said maybe it hadn't been right and we should have left it after the first time. She didn't put up much resistance.

    It's always been a lesson to me that has stopped me wishing to get back with people after a break up. I think it's hard for it to be the same second time around. When I look at other friends who have broken up and got back together, it has always just delayed the inevitable. Best you can hope for is a second brief honeymoon period. Yes it's upsetting when you split up, but hoping against hope that you'll get back together isn't the right way to move on IMO.
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    A few of my friends had dated through secondary school and first year and a half of college. They then broke up went to different uni's in London, had been separated for a year then started dating again, 2 more years of dating at uni, then 2 years of dating back in their home town, they are now getting married this year and I am the best man.
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    Kinda, although I've never been dumped, and typically either moved away/let things fizzle etc, so no drama, and no probs going back there
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    Not that I can remember.
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    yes
    dont do it
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    I haven't got back with an ex so I don't have any story to share with you, but I felt I'd offer a bit of perspective.

    Break-ups signal that there is something wrong with the relationship. If you get back together without resolving what went wrong in the first place, you're doomed to break-up again. Some things are easier to fix than others, and sometimes it's not healthy getting back together. I don't feel break-ups are as black and white as people make them out to be; I think there's too many varying factors to take into account, and what works for some doesn't work for others.
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    (Original post by MagicNMedicine)
    Yeah when I was at uni, I split up with my gf of the time just before the end of term in December, and it ruined my Christmas. It took me by surprise. I'd felt the relationship was going well and the break up came out of the blue, she just went cold and announced that she wanted to concentrate on other things and "maybe we should just leave it".

    I went back for the holidays, had assignments to do, exams to prepare for and all the time was this shadow hanging over me about having split up. At first I was wallowing in self-pity, thinking I'd never again meet anyone as amazing, and analysing in my head the last few times we'd done stuff together to try and look for any signals that all wasn't well and think could anything be put right. The only contact I had with her was a brief chat on msn just before Christmas which was basically, happy Christmas, what are you up to, cool, have a good one, but that little chat brought so many emotions it flattened me for days.

    Then I started to deal with it by just wishing. I thought that if I wished hard enough, the universe would make my dreams come true and give me another chance with her. I came up with all these resolutions in my head of stuff I was going to do to make myself a better person, if I did this and that she would realise what she was missing and come back to me. Maybe it was crazy but at least it was spurring me to positive action not sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

    Anyway the next term started, I was out one night and I saw her out, dancing with this other guy. Cue being crushed and depressed again for the next few days. I had convinced myself in my head that she had moved on and got a new boyfriend. Reluctantly I realised I had to let go, she wasn't coming back, and I'd need to move on and be open to other people.

    Then a few weeks later, end of February, I saw her in a bar and she waved and, having moved on a little bit, I felt able to go up and have a brief chat. Well that brief chat ended up being all night and going back to hers. That guy she'd been out with wasn't a date or anything he was just a male platonic friend. She apologised for being so hasty in splitting up, she said she'd been stressed with uni work and various things and thought being single would be better but then when we met up again she wanted to get back together.

    Still to this day I regard that as one of the most unbelievable, unexpected events of my life - back when I was so gutted and down about it I never would have believed how easily just a chance encounter would lead to us getting on so well and naturally getting back together.

    So we were back together and I thought this is all my dreams come true, how amazing was that, must be fate, must be meant to be.

    Except it wasn't quite as much of a rom-com happy ending as that. A couple of things nagged at me. Although I tried to surpress it, the fact that I'd already started to move on before this happened made me feel uneasily like I was taking a step backwards in some way, to go back to her.

    But more so than that, I was carrying the scars of all the stress and bad feelings I'd suffered over Christmas which were down to her, and that blew away a lot of the romantic notion of our relationship being perfect. I kind of held her responsible for all that hurt, and it rankled that she'd decided "ok I want to be single now", caused me all that upset, and then decided "oh hey didn't expect to see you here, oh why don't we get back together then". There felt like a bit of flippancy involved that I didn't like and it meant second time round I was more guarded with her and I kept a slight distance.

    Then came the biggest realisation of all. In the immediate aftermath of our break up I had idealised our relationship, and idealised her as this ultimate vision of perfection, Now I started to notice things. She had a tendency to be rude and stroppy - not with me but with other people. If we had to queue for a club she always tried to push in and got mouthy with the bouncers. If we got a taxi she tried to haggle the driver down and ranted about how unreasonable he was. I began to wonder secretly what would have happened had I not met her that night....would I have moved on and be going out with someone else now? I also had started to fancy a girl from my course.

    In the end we stuttered on for about 5 or 6 weeks and then I suggested ending it, I said maybe it hadn't been right and we should have left it after the first time. She didn't put up much resistance.

    It's always been a lesson to me that has stopped me wishing to get back with people after a break up. I think it's hard for it to be the same second time around. When I look at other friends who have broken up and got back together, it has always just delayed the inevitable. Best you can hope for is a second brief honeymoon period. Yes it's upsetting when you split up, but hoping against hope that you'll get back together isn't the right way to move on IMO.
    Oh wow this made me sad, especially having just been through a break up myself
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    The thing is the relationship you thought was perfect will never be the same again if you get back together. Depending on various circumstances, its more likely NEVER going to be the same if one of you is really hell bent on moving on for whatever reason.

    Its sad but such are the realities of life.
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    Yes. We were together for 6 months and broke up and then a year later we got back together and have been together for 7 years ever since.

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    Kinda. We had a mutual breakup after being together for a year, we just weren't compatible and we lost chemistry and spark. We bumped into each other on a night out and we were both completely sober and we were having a pretty **** night so we decided to hook up, we woke up next to each other the next morning and both agreed how great the sex was (the night before and during our relationship), we joked around about being **** buddies u till we were no longer laughing and both had serious written all over our faces. We've been having sex on a regular basis ever since. No strings attached. It's pretty great! Neither of us are looking for relationships and we don't want to sleep around with other people. We don't develop feelings for each other because we've already been there and know it wouldn't work. We've now been **** buddies for longer than we were actually together and it suits us perfectly. It's basically sex on tap! Most bizarre situation, I know.


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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Yes. We were together for 6 months and broke up and then a year later we got back together and have been together for 7 years ever since.

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    A very nice story drowned by the gloomy toils of others haha
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    So has anyone gotten back with an ex after a break up? Has it worked out the second time for you?
    Yes, briefly. No it didn't work out


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    yes with my first boyfriend. We was on and off for around one and half years. He was really immature and didn't treat me well but i was blinded bc i loved him. He's grown up now and gone way more maturer and we talk. He's a good friend to me and is always there for me. But now to complicate things he's been wanting to get back with me for the past two years.
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    Yep, didn't work out too well.

    Went to uni last September having worked full time for a few years, I was happy sleeping with girls casually etc. Kept seeing this one hot girl around my halls who was a couple of years older (always been interested in slightly older girls as to why I was happy just sleeping casually with 18/19 year olds etc). Messaged her on Facebook asked her out for a drink and we basically lived together from day one (I lived in a flat full of brazillian international students and so did she so we basically spent our time together when not at uni). I wasn't too happy at uni and just became increasingly depressed and finally dropped out February. Still spent most of my time in halls as I stayed in my home town. I suppose it became more of a habit/routine seeing her as I withdrew more and more within myself and became emotionally detached as did she. Things came to a head in July when I went over to hers (she only lived a 20 minute train journey away)in July and it felt like we'd been stepping on egg shells around each other for a few months and we both argued and decided mutually we should split up there and then, perfect clarity. That made me fix up my ideas, got back in the gym, had job interviews, got offered a job, was gaining some much needed confidence back. We'd still been talking as it didn't end up on bad terms and we seemingly cared for each other and she dropped the line out of the blue "Well what do you think about the break?" and for some reason we eneded up getting back together. There was nothing left in the relationship sexually by the May and everything was doomed when we got back together. Went away on holiday for a weekend in the August and I kept telling myself to end it but I couldn't bring myself to do it so ended it by text (I'm an idiot I know) but was the best thing I did. I'm now happy (for the most part), single and life has moved on. Was always of the opinion going back is a bad idea and that confirmed it
 
 
 
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