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    I met this girl on tinder and was chatting to her for a while but then the conversation died down and we stopped talking.

    I went out one night and bumped into her in the kebab shop at the end - we chatted loads and she said to go back to hers. Neither of us was that drunk and it was not coming back for anything sexual.

    Since then, we've gone on 2 proper official dates and sort of hung out/met up about 5 times (usually for most of the day). So I feel I know her pretty well. Stayed round hers about 3-4 times but never had sex with her - made a point not to do it early. Even though we've gone on 2 dates and met up lots of times, this all happened in a very short space of time (about 2 weeks of spending a lot of time together).

    Anyway that night a guy I vaguely know came up to her (before she talked to me) and tried it with her. He later added her on facebook and she accepted - i didn't have a problem with that as we hadn't spent a lot of time together by that point.

    But now I know he is still messaging her and she is replying. She's also got him on snapchat. Do you think it is time I bring this up and say something?
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    (Original post by dylantombides)
    I met this girl on tinder and was chatting to her for a while but then the conversation died down and we stopped talking.

    I went out one night and bumped into her in the kebab shop at the end - we chatted loads and she said to go back to hers. Neither of us was that drunk and it was not coming back for anything sexual.

    Since then, we've gone on 2 proper official dates and sort of hung out/met up about 5 times (usually for most of the day). So I feel I know her pretty well. Stayed round hers about 3-4 times but never had sex with her - made a point not to do it early. Even though we've gone on 2 dates and met up lots of times, this all happened in a very short space of time (about 2 weeks of spending a lot of time together).

    Anyway that night a guy I vaguely know came up to her (before she talked to me) and tried it with her. He later added her on facebook and she accepted - i didn't have a problem with that as we hadn't spent a lot of time together by that point.

    But now I know he is still messaging her and she is replying. She's also got him on snapchat. Do you think it is time I bring this up and say something?
    do you have feelings for her? and does she know??
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    (Original post by ellthom)
    do you have feelings for her? and does she know??
    Hmmm i'm nor really sure if I would go as far as saying I have feelings as of yet. I don't know really :/
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    If you haven't at least kissed her by this point, you're a fool.
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    you have no say really as your not an item
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    If you haven't at least kissed her by this point, you're a fool.
    Yeah we've kissed plenty of times aha. We made a thing not to sleep together too early though but we've done stuff just no sex yet (and no foreplay stuff either - so basically our private parts haven't came out yet).

    (Original post by shawtyb)
    you have no say really as your not an item
    I don't understand what you mean?
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    well if your not in a relationship then shes free to do as she chooses
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    5 times most of the day is solid yeah. Some people will say it's really early and that you should wait a few months, but these same people are probably the casual once a week for a few hour daters that barely know the people they are talking to :lol:
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    (Original post by dylantombides)
    Hmmm i'm nor really sure if I would go as far as saying I have feelings as of yet. I don't know really :/
    in my opinion, you can't really question their motives and expect to be exclusive if you can't clarify if you even have feelings for her?
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    The fact you are sharing a bed (are you, you said you stayed round hers) and she still lets other guys flirt like that is a bit of a red flag tbh, she might just be lonely instead of having genuine feelings for you
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    (Original post by dylantombides)
    Do you think it is time I bring this up and say something?
    No, I think it's time you smash it, and hope that you do enough job to convince her to leave the world of hookups behind (wouldn't bank on it) :scrooge:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    No, I think it's time you smash it, and hope that you do enough job to convince her to leave the world of hookups behind (wouldn't bank on it) :scrooge:
    She didn't hook up with him. He tried it and she didn't give him the kiss but he added her and chatted to her then i noticed she got his snapchat. To be honest, a kiss wouldn't have bothered me so much but the fact that they're starting to properly talk is more worrying.

    (Original post by Das Ich Man)
    The fact you are sharing a bed (are you, you said you stayed round hers) and she still lets other guys flirt like that is a bit of a red flag tbh, she might just be lonely instead of having genuine feelings for you
    Yeah we stayed in the same bed and have cuddled/spooned but not had sex. It was only one guy and he just messaged her on facebook and they probably exchanged messages then they got each other's snapchats.

    (Original post by ellthom)
    in my opinion, you can't really question their motives and expect to be exclusive if you can't clarify if you even have feelings for her?
    I would say I like her and see this as having potential, but I wouldn't say I have actual feelings for her yet (i don't 'love' her as of yet)
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    (Original post by dylantombides)
    She didn't hook up with him. He tried it and she didn't give him the kiss but he added her and chatted to her then i noticed she got his snapchat. To be honest, a kiss wouldn't have bothered me so much but the fact that they're starting to properly talk is more worrying
    Thanks for the info but rather than sit at home "worrying" like #Betamax I think you'd be better served getting up off your ass, out there, and following my advice :yy:
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    (Original post by dylantombides)
    I met this girl on tinder and was chatting to her for a while but then the conversation died down and we stopped talking.

    I went out one night and bumped into her in the kebab shop at the end - we chatted loads and she said to go back to hers. Neither of us was that drunk and it was not coming back for anything sexual.

    Since then, we've gone on 2 proper official dates and sort of hung out/met up about 5 times (usually for most of the day). So I feel I know her pretty well. Stayed round hers about 3-4 times but never had sex with her - made a point not to do it early. Even though we've gone on 2 dates and met up lots of times, this all happened in a very short space of time (about 2 weeks of spending a lot of time together).

    Anyway that night a guy I vaguely know came up to her (before she talked to me) and tried it with her. He later added her on facebook and she accepted - i didn't have a problem with that as we hadn't spent a lot of time together by that point.

    But now I know he is still messaging her and she is replying. She's also got him on snapchat. Do you think it is time I bring this up and say something?
    Many advantages to social media, but this on one disadvantage I find. Once upon a time you'd meet a person in a club, pub, Uni etc and then if you dated and got along you'd move onto a relationship, and invested your time in it. With all these apps and websites it's all changed, many people date more than one person at the same time, to filter out the best partner.

    I don't like this, but it's the way of the world. I'd love to say perhaps he's become a friend? but I don't know neither do you. If you ask her she might ask why you're 'checking up on her'

    What do you think? have you seen or spoken to her today or yesterday?
 
 
 
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