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Bad signs, how to abandon ship and move on? Watch

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    I had a crush on my friend for some time now. We spent times together at bars and restaurants in the past just for casual meetups and I felt we clicked and so I started having feelings for her. We text quite frequently too. Unfortunately she doesn't look like she feels the same about me.

    Today I was having lunch with her and one of her old school friends bumped into us. My crush introduced me to her as "a friend". This is how I know something is up and she doesn't like me. She also has tried to hook me up with other girls from the course, which is another bad sign. I think the final clue is when I asked her what kind of guys she likes and she described her ideal guy which was anything BUT me.

    So now I have learned to accept that she doesn't like me and I will no longer pursue her for a relationship. The problem is I'll still have feelings for her so what can I do? I've reduced contact and it has helped but feelings come back whenever I see her again
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    Cliché/generic advice but I'm afraid you must focus on other things, and people, and perhaps also work on self-worth, and self-esteem if its tough
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    I guess the only thing is to just try and move on, try and accept that however much you like her, it wont change how she feels about you.
    With the whole "but feelings come back whenever I see her again" thing, time is only going to heal that. You'll just have to hide that sadness and grit your teeth until the pains gone.
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    Get over it, dude

    it's melodramatic to be claiming to have feelings for someone you've never dated.
    If, as you say you've started to notice her behaviour changing around you then it's probably because you've been making her uncomfortable with unwanted advances/hints when you're just her friend.

    Personally, I think if you've been friends with someone for a while and you develop a romantic interest (aka not romantic feelings) and want to see if there's a potential for the friendship to develop into something more, then the best bet is to just be completely open and ask your friend directly. That way you can get it out in the open and find out for sure if there's really a potential there and not risk your friendship. It's never a good idea to try to be subtle or suddenly start flirting/ dropping hints or clues to suggest that you have feelings for your friend because its odd. your friend might not understand the change in behaviour and could get creeped out/put off.

    Move on, it seems like you're just infatuated with wanting to be with her. If you're still unsure then ask her outright and dont get hung up over it. There's no point drooling over someone who doesn't feel the same, you'll find a good match if you're patient.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by insert-username)
    Get over it, dude

    it's melodramatic to be claiming to have feelings for someone you've never dated.
    If, as you say you've started to notice her behaviour changing around you then it's probably because you've been making her uncomfortable with unwanted advances/hints when you're just her friend.

    Personally, I think if you've been friends with someone for a while and you develop a romantic interest (aka not romantic feelings) and want to see if there's a potential for the friendship to develop into something more, then the best bet is to just be completely open and ask your friend directly. That way you can get it out in the open and find out for sure if there's really a potential there and not risk your friendship. It's never a good idea to try to be subtle or suddenly start flirting/ dropping hints or clues to suggest that you have feelings for your friend because its odd. your friend might not understand the change in behaviour and could get creeped out/put off.

    Move on, it seems like you're just infatuated with wanting to be with her. If you're still unsure then ask her outright and dont get hung up over it. There's no point drooling over someone who doesn't feel the same, you'll find a good match if you're patient.
    I can't tell her that I like her. What does that achieve? I already know she doesn't like me, the signs are so ****ing obvious that I'm just a friend and I'll screw things up by confessing my feelings for her. I was always too passive with her which was why things failed between us. I already said I've accepted she doesn't like me. I need a way that I can quickly move on without being too obvious that I'm trying to distance myself from her. She is my friend after all so I can't exactly just blank her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't tell her that I like her. What does that achieve? I already know she doesn't like me, the signs are so ****ing obvious that I'm just a friend and I'll screw things up by confessing my feelings for her. I was always too passive with her which was why things failed between us. I already said I've accepted she doesn't like me. I need a way that I can quickly move on without being too obvious that I'm trying to distance myself from her. She is my friend after all so I can't exactly just blank her.
    Well get on the dating bandwagon in that case. Have you tried meeting other girls? Whats stopping you from dating other people? If you're struggling to meet people in person then make use of dating apps like tinder/okcupid etc
 
 
 
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