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Is this normal or selfish?

I only ever find myself attracted to people that I feel like me first.
I usually have no interest at all in anyone but there was a guy who I found out liked me and I started to like him back a little (but not enough to take it any further). There's also a guy who I didn't like before but my friend started saying she thinks he likes me and now I find myself thinking I like him.

I don't want to act on any of these feelings because it feels like it would be selfish and I would get bored of them quickly because I didn't feel anything initially, but I don't know what to do because I never seem to like anyone for any other reason. It's embarrassing because my friends are always talking about guys they like so I find it hard to relate to them with those kinds of things.

So is that a common thing for other people? And is it really that bad to act on it and hope I find other reasons to like them along the way?

(BTW I'm a girl and 17 if that makes any difference)

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I wouldn't say 'selfish' but yes it's bad because the only reason you like him is because he likes you

Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm the same and I'm a guy. I can go from mild attraction to complete infatuation almost instantly if a girl shows signs that she likes me. Even girls who at first I found unattractive. I don't think it's selfish, it's just a different kind of attraction :smile:
it's bad that you only start liking them because they like you - but maybe you need assurance before catching feelings, but it's quite logical lmao - it means you don't get stupid emotional crushes on people that will never like you back so it's clever in way.

I think what you may mean is you become interested in them because they like you, which is normal, are you sure actually like-like them?
Reply 4
Avatar for hejraat
hejraat
10
LOL this is NOT selfish at all, like why would it be?
Maybe you are just not in it for the chase or are a bit nervous about falling for/liking someone who doesn't definetly like you back (as in you could be scared of rejection)
I don't think it's selfish. I didn't start having feelings for my current boyfriend of two years until he told me he liked me and even then it took a good half a year until I liked him. I'm extremely happy with him and hope to spend my life with him :colondollar:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 6
Avatar for may_1
may_1
13
I get this I know how you feel. There's this guy at work I never would have normally gone for but he kept being really flirty and showing a real interest and now I find myself attracted to him. Don't think it's that abnormal! It's definately flattering when someone likes you!
Reply 7
Avatar for hejraat
hejraat
10
Original post by Changing Skies
I don't think it's selfish. I didn't start having feelings for my current boyfriend of two years until he told me he liked me and even then it took a good half a year until I liked him. I'm extremely happy with him and hope to spend my life with him :colondollar:

Posted from TSR Mobile


Cool story bruh but OP didn't ask for your love life
Original post by hejraat
Cool story bruh but OP didn't ask for your love life

What's your problem? :lol:

Was just showing that it's possible not to like someone straight away but be happy in the end.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 9
Avatar for hejraat
hejraat
10
Original post by Changing Skies
What's your problem? :lol:

Was just showing that it's possible not to like someone straight away but be happy in the end.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Cba arguing
If they do like you, isn't it not selfish to give them a chance?
If you like them (however much for whatever reason) then it makes things easier.

I don't think you're being selfish at all. There are few relationships out there that begin from mutual infatuation with one another.
Original post by hejraat
Cba arguing

Wasn't planning on arguing with you over something so pathetic anyway so that's wonderful!
Original post by Foo.mp3
Have you guys never crushed on anyone (including celebs)? :holmes:


I've thought people and celebs are cute, but I wouldn't class it as a crush, like I've never particularly wanted to date them or anything like that
Original post by alkaline.
it's bad that you only start liking them because they like you - but maybe you need assurance before catching feelings, but it's quite logical lmao - it means you don't get stupid emotional crushes on people that will never like you back so it's clever in way.

I think what you may mean is you become interested in them because they like you, which is normal, are you sure actually like-like them?


Yeah I think you're right. I'm not sure, that's why I don't like the idea of acting on it because I don't want to realize I don't :/
I understand you completely, I don't think you're selfish at all.

This has been the case with me for many years. I lied about having a crush on a guy when I was about 14 because I didn't want my friends to laugh at me for not liking someone. Then when a guy started showing interest in me when I was 15 overtime I fell for him.

Since then it's been pretty much the same, a guy will approach me and I'm not crazy over them at first until I get to know them. This isn't the case for every guy though - I don't fall for every guy, but the ones I eventually do fall for usually make their feelings known or show interest and then I start thinking of them differently.
Reply 15
Avatar for may_1
may_1
13
Original post by Foo.mp3
How far have you been with: A) Yourself; B) Another person?


Strange question ...
Reply 16
Avatar for may_1
may_1
13
Original post by Foo.mp3
Not at all, these things are correlates for certain 'feelings'. Many girls have little or no (romantic/sexual) interest in boys before they undergo something of a 'sexual awakening'. This certainly applied to my 'proper ex', who was a bit of a Tomboy, rather studious/sporty, and generally just very sweet and dutiful, rather than preoccupied with boys, growing up (that is, until she met me) :devil:

Oh I see what you mean. So what's a sexual awakening ? How do you know if you've been sexually awakened lol?
Reply 17
Avatar for z33
z33
21
I think it saves a lot of hurt if you only like them when they like you
Original post by Foo.mp3
When you begin to engage with your body, and/or the bodies of others, on a (psycho)sexual level e.g. having erotic thoughts, sexual desires, fantasies, urges, or pleasant erogenous/sexual sensations etc. Different people reach this stage at different ages, and some never really do in a complete sense (a-sexual folk). There's more to crushing than this, naturally, but once one reaches this stage one generally finds oneself inexorably 'drawn' to certain others :colondollar:

You'll feel 'a stirring' within :u:


you've turned me on just by reading your paragraph and have sexually awakened me within. is this normal?..................................................................................................................................................................
Original post by Foo.mp3
In this instance, probably not, NGL :mmm:

Pleased to be of service though (supposing you're not trolling) :top2:


Your service has been 5*. I like men who turn me on so fast. And maybe you can offer other services tailored to my physical needs...
We can discuss this over drinks

I'm not trolling. Now that I'm turned on,I don't think you can easily turn me off and I can't be the only one

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