Too much to ask?

I have been seeing a guy for about a month now, we've been official for two weeks. Things moved pretty fast, they were great at first, but a bit rocky in the past week, but he assured me he was still into me, and that he just has an awful lot on at the moment!

We're in a long distance relationship for the next month - whilst i'm working 200 miles away - so it's all a little bit on 'hold' till I return. We're both really busy - both in our final years of uni, and so communication between us is a little hard since we don't have a lot of time. When we do communicate its always me making the effort, which I'm not adverse to, so long as he isnt not making the effort because he doesnt want to.. if you get my drift.

ANYWAY. I am going on a short trip to Leeds - where he is at uni, next week. and obviously i'd like to see him! He's been a bit iffy with it though. Says he's really busy and will have to let me know.

The thing is, there is a particular reason as to why i'm going home - i have a big thing to sort out - and afterwards i'm going out to celebrate - it's a really big day for me and I'd feel, frankly, annoyed if he couldn't make it.

My question is, is it alright to be pissed off if he seems to make no effort for this evening and is just 'busy' and bails? I feel like I might have to almost lay down a bit of an ultimatum, explain how much this evening means to me, and tell him I really want him to make the effort, even if its just for an hour or so. Is this too much to ask? If he claims to be busy, would I be overreacting if I got annoyed? Considering he makes very little effort anyway, AND this is the last chance we'll have to see each other for about 3 weeks?

or is it just too pushy?

xx

(ps. sorry its a bit long.. i just don't want to be the pushover that lets her crappy boyfriend miss out on important things cos he's lazy, but nor do i want to be the pushy 'clingy' type!)

Reply 1

Clumsy girlie

mmmm debatable! Depends what his exact excuses are for not meeting you.

Reply 2

Lek

So you haven't you told him how important this night out is for you yet? He may well just be really busy, and think that you're just going on a normal night out like any other, and have no idea how much this night means to you. I've lost count of the number of times I've dropped what I thought were really big hints to my boyf, only to find later on when I bring it up explicitly that he is completely clueless!

If you tell him that it would mean an awful lot to you if he was there, and he is still iffy about going, than start questioning what is more important to him than going out with you for a big celebratory night. I don't think its pushy at all, and its not like you're asking him to take more than a few hours out of his evening!

Reply 3

AnnieBell

yeah I think I wil wait and see. I'm having vagueish second thoughts about him anyway - mostly due to his lack of effort!!

I will tell him how much it means to me, and to be honest, if he doesnt have a really good excuse, then I might call it off. He'd have to be really really busy to not be able to spare me an hour or two. It's a bit of a make or break time I think!!