Upset...stupid?

First of all, don't worry. Your friend just sounds like she's jealous you're not going to the same uni and is trying to avoid you drifting apart by pushing you away now. You definitely made the right choice! You need to go to uni where YOU'RE keen on the course and where you want to go - after all, it's your life it will be affecting and it's a huge decision - she can't expect you to go along with her like this is some school trip.

It's understandable you're upset, but your friend is the one who's out of order. Even if you had said you might've gone to the same uni, it's up to you at the end of the day where you go, she has no reason to go in a mood with you. If that's the kind of friend she's going to be, then I'd just ignore her - you can do without people like that! Esp 'cos she said she doesn't care about you anymore! Just leave her alone and she'll soon come running back.

Reply 2

OP

spacecowgirl89

First of all, don't worry. Your friend just sounds like she's jealous you're not going to the same uni and is trying to avoid you drifting apart by pushing you away now. You definitely made the right choice! You need to go to uni where YOU'RE keen on the course and where you want to go - after all, it's your life it will be affecting and it's a huge decision - she can't expect you to go along with her like this is some school trip.

It's understandable you're upset, but your friend is the one who's out of order. Even if you had said you might've gone to the same uni, it's up to you at the end of the day where you go, she has no reason to go in a mood with you. If that's the kind of friend she's going to be, then I'd just ignore her - you can do without people like that! Esp 'cos she said she doesn't care about you anymore! Just leave her alone and she'll soon come running back.

Thanks for your reply :smile:

What if she doesn't come running back though? we've been best friends for years and i don't know what i'd do without her :frown:

Reply 3

I know how you feel. Two of my best friends for years ditched me, and it was then I found out what idiots they were. If she wants to throw away a really important friendship, then that's her problem. What does it tell you if she doesn't come running back - that she wasn't worth it. You'll find some awesome new friends at uni, and frankly, if your friend doesn't come round, then she's an idiot for throwing away a perfectly good friendship over some stupid squabble about universities. If she was a true friend, she wouldn't even contemplate not staying in touch. Honestly, don't worry :smile:

I know it's tough and sad, esp if she doesn't come back...but I'm pretty sure she probably will, she sounds like she's just sulking because she can't get her own way and have you at the same uni as her.

Reply 4

shona

10

It sounds to me like your friend is worried about drifting apart from you and losing your friendship, as often happens when people leave school.

The thing is, yes, you do lose touch with the people you just see around in the common room, but you never lose contact with your real friends. Three of my closest friends in the world went to my secondary school and then to different universities. We still see each other - we're still close.

I think maybe you should give your friend some time to cool down, and then get in touch with her - a letter through her door would probably be best, she can't slam the phone down then - and explain how much she means to you, and that you really don't want to lose touch. I think despite the angry shouting and ranting, she just wants some reassurance you're not ditching her.

I hope you manage to work things out.

Reply 5

OP

Thanks, yeah that's true and hopefully she will come back, i tried to assure her in my text that i love her loads and even when she told me she would never visit me i said i'd always visit her if she wanted me to....still feel like i'm in the wrong though :frown:

Reply 6

HereFishyFishy

13

Bloody hell - tell her to grow a backbone. I'm sorry, but how immature is she thinking she has to go to the same uni as her best friend? You're getting to the age now where you have to make the decisions best for yourself. The university you pick is important and it's where you'll spend the next 3/4 yours of your life. If she can't accept your decisions (and realise that your friendship can be maintained) she isn't a friend, in my book.

Reply 7

OP

The other thing making her mad i think is the fact that the uni i chose is where my other best friend lucy is going so i think she sees it as i've chosen lucy over her even though that's really not the case :s-smilie:

Reply 8

Ginger_Rogers

7

lol at deciding which uni to go on the basis of where your friend will be studying. LOL.

Reply 9

Yellowmarshmellow

Thanks, yeah that's true and hopefully she will come back, i tried to assure her in my text that i love her loads and even when she told me she would never visit me i said i'd always visit her if she wanted me to....still feel like i'm in the wrong though :frown:

You're not in the wrong at all! You shouldn't be so nice to her right now. Don't be a doormat and let her walk all over you! :frown:

She'll think she can do just that if you're saying you'll come visit her even if she won't visit you.

Reply 10

OP

Ginger_Rogers

lol at deciding which uni to go on the basis of where your friend will be studying. LOL.

Exactly, and i said to her what if i had put that uni as my first choice to make her happy even though i didn't like it and then she didn't get the required grades so ended up not going.... :rolleyes:

she didn't say anything but still insisted that i've lied to her and should just go F- off to uni with my other best friend.

Reply 11

HereFishyFishy

13

Yellowmarshmellow

The other thing making her mad i think is the fact that the uni i chose is where my other best friend lucy is going so i think she sees it as i've chosen lucy over her even though that's really not the case :s-smilie:

pfft! You're not picking who to sit with on a school trip, it's your future. I reiterate, tell her to stop being so silly. The more you apologise, the more she'll walk all over you. She sounds too young to be going to uni.

Reply 12

OP

Laces

pfft! You're not picking who to sit with on a school trip, it's your future. I reiterate, tell her to stop being so silly. The more you apologise, the more she'll walk all over you. She sounds too young to be going to uni.

Yeah - when she found out i was seriously considering the uni i've chosen she went into this huge omg i'm not looking forward to uni anymore, i only wanted to go if you are there, i'm scared about it now etc and i felt like the worst friend ever :confused:

Reply 13

HereFishyFishy

13

Yellowmarshmellow

Yeah - when she found out i was seriously considering the uni i've chosen she went into this huge omg i'm not looking forward to uni anymore, i only wanted to go if you are there, i'm scared about it now etc and i felt like the worst friend ever :confused:

Seriously, I think your friend is totally out of line but you are being pathetic too. Explain to her how you can still be best friends blah blah, but you have to get the best education and experience for you. You're clearly not being a crap friend; this is how uni always works out, leaving your friends and spending time with them in the holidays.
Talk to her, but stop being a walkover. Point all of this out and if she's still being whiney you should leave her be until she comes to her senses. Well, that's what I'd do.

Reply 14

hippieglitter

19

Your friend is being really selfish, nobody i know expected to go to the same uni as their friends, me and my best friend are at opposite ends of the country. I have different best friend and friendship group at uni now but we still see each other over the holidays. Uni is a very big and important decision and the uni you go to will change your life, itg is extrememly unfair that you should go to the uni she wants you to if it is not the right place for you.

Reply 15

Don't be stupid - you're not the worst friend ever at all. Your friend just sounds childish and naive. Uni's about going where you want, it's a huge decision and if she's not ready for that she shouldn't be going! There's nothing more we can say except stop being a doormat, don't let her walk all over you[which is pretty much me expanding that first point] and don't go running back to her - let her come back to you and apologise if she wants.

Reply 16