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Erectile dysfunction in young, healthy men

Okay, I've researched this on the Internet, and it seems to happen in older men who are smokers, sedentary, obese, diabetic, have heart disease, etc. When it happens in men who don't fit into these categories, surely it's purely psychological? Especially if it isn't just a one-off problem? It's happened to my (casual) partner and I'm worried there might be an underlying health problem. He felt really bad and kept apologising. I tried to reassure him but really didn't know how. I feel guilty for stressing him out too much. Has anyone here had a similar expeience, and how did you deal with it? Thanks.

Reply 1

coldplasma

16

Psychological can be dealt with placebo's. It apparently has a very strong effect.

Reply 2

--

3

LipGloss

Okay, I've researched this on the Internet, and it seems to happen in older men who are smokers, sedentary, obese, diabetic, have heart disease, etc. When it happens in men who don't fit into these categories, surely it's purely psychological? Especially if it isn't just a one-off problem? It's happened to my (casual) partner and I'm worried there might be an underlying health problem. He felt really bad and kept apologising. I tried to reassure him but really didn't know how. I feel guilty for stressing him out too much. Has anyone here had a similar expeience, and how did you deal with it? Thanks.

Unless he was really drunk, then yeah he probably has some kind of problem - be it psychological, stress or just plain nervousness. If he can get an erection on his own then its not a (physical) health problem.

Reply 3

Alique

2

It's psychological/nerves etc.

Get him to see a doctor, they'll probably prescribe him a small dose of viagra so as to get past those first nervous stages stages.

Reply 4

ladylady

Yes, if he can get an erectioN (e.g. in the morning or when masturbating) on his own, then it's not physical. He has to stop being nervous about the fact whether he'll get an erection before he's expected to get one. He should just think "ok, well, whatver. either it will happen or not". You should prepare a speech when it happens next time and DO NOT SAY "just get over it, it doesn't matter", but say "i understand how difficult it must be for you, maybe you feel crippled, but i know this will pass, i promise, and i totally don't mind waiting" and hug him.

Reply 5

HeadShock

hes just nervous it seems

Reply 6

rock_eleven

1

yea find out if he is suffering from a low sex drive, no spontaneous erections, etc.

Reply 7

freshestkid

1

calling him a cripple possibly isn't the best route to take though. Unless he's into that kinda stuff i suppose...

Reply 8

HeadShock

freshestkid

calling him a cripple possibly isn't the best route to take though. Unless he's into that kinda stuff i suppose...

rofl yes don't do that, just be patient with him.

Reply 9

randdom

20

In the case you described i would suspect that it is most likely to be a psychological problem. I have had male friends who have confided in me that they have had similar problem (that was an aquard conversation :s-smilie:

) and it always passed eventually. I would say that your best bet is to keep trying don't make out that it is a big deal and create and environment where he can feel relaxed and eventually it will happen. Unless he has any other signs that he might be ill i wouldn't suggest going to the doctor, if it becomes a consistent problem then maybe but otherwise i don't think that it would do much good.

Reply 10

puppy

Does it happen when condoms are involved? A lot of guys just hate them and have a bit of a psychological thing that happens when they have to put a condom on because it ruins sex for them.

Reply 11

LipGloss

OP

To answer a few questions:

He was very drunk the first time, so I didn't really think much of it. He was sober the other times.

He does get erections, which I suppose rules out physiological causes.

He's had difficulty obtaining an erection before the condom was put on.

I guess I'm just worried that something about me is killing off his sexual desire. :s-smilie:

He's been under immense stress as well, and was probably under too much pressure to perform, as we were planning ahead for it for quite a while.

Reply 12

McGJunior88

LipGloss

He's been under immense stress as well, and was probably under too much pressure to perform, as we were planning ahead for it for quite a while.

Well, there you have it. Sometimes it's good to have a big build-up to stuff like that. Other times ... just surprise him. When he's least expecting it, jump him. Or plan a big surprise for him, or something - try to take his mind out of the equation, at least at first.

But still, don't be caught ... 'unprepared' :wink:

McG

Reply 13

ßlαcksωαn

17

I don't know but it seems to be the problem of the 21st century and I am sick to death of seeing tv adverts and radio adverts about erectile dysfunction! grrr

Reply 14

immortal

10

The same (or a very similar thing) happened to my boyfriend, and He went to the doctors and was given a small dose of viagra. If your partner would rather not...I don't know who said it but you are right about the placebo effect - just buy some of those blue pills from ann summers and make sure you both take them, so he hopefully doesn't feel singled out and useless. I personally don't think they have any physical effect on you, but as long as you are patient and encouraging I don't think you'd have a problem. Have you tried spending more time on foreplay? Because as silly as it sounds, if he's horny enough it, he hopefully shouldn't think too much, and you can go full steam ahead! xxx

Reply 15

drawmeamonkey

1

it can be a vicious circle, its been mentioned. worrying about it makes it worse, but then you worry more because its getting worse! (applies to any psycho-sexual thing i reckon)

it definitely gets better with time, it's a good excuse to keep trying :wink:

don't always plan to have sex, let things just happen, its less to properly "think" about that way.

Reply 16

RetiredAccount89

18

Alique

It's psychological/nerves etc.

Get him to see a doctor, they'll probably prescribe him a small dose of viagra so as to get past those first nervous stages stages.

Bull****. There are specific guidelines givent op GPS as to who they can and cannot prescribe to. Some muppet kid who is over stressed does NOT qualify.

Stress and alcohol are the big two in young people. you have to take time for yourselves, get properly in the mood (rather than ripping each others clothes off after a night out and praying for the best). I'll bet he wakes up in the am with an erection. can jack off fine, and probably gets and erection in bed as well. but when it comes to getting down adn dirty, it all goes wrong. its nerves. vicious cycle.
Also, make sure you avoid delay action spray/delay action/performace condoms. they have local anaesthetic in and can cause all manner of problems in some people!

Reply 17

danesh

well said

Reply 18

Alique

2

Jamie

Bull****. There are specific guidelines givent op GPS as to who they can and cannot prescribe to. Some muppet kid who is over stressed does NOT qualify.

Stress and alcohol are the big two in young people. you have to take time for yourselves, get properly in the mood (rather than ripping each others clothes off after a night out and praying for the best). I'll bet he wakes up in the am with an erection. can jack off fine, and probably gets and erection in bed as well. but when it comes to getting down adn dirty, it all goes wrong. its nerves. vicious cycle.
Also, make sure you avoid delay action spray/delay action/performace condoms. they have local anaesthetic in and can cause all manner of problems in some people!

Yes, because i have nothing better to do than come on internet forums, make random statements about erectile dysfunction and lie. What could i possibly gain by making such a statement?

I know people in their early 20s that have actually been coaxed by their doctors into trying it. They only give you four tablets though. I don't know why people think it's such a big deal to prescribe it. Why would it matter if you're an overstressed muppet in your 20s or an overstressed muppet in your 50s? Not every bloke in their middle ages takes it because they have health issues.

The only reason it might seem uncommon is because people that age are far too embarassed to go to their doctors.

Reply 19

RetiredAccount89

18

Alique

Yes, because i have nothing better to do than come on internet forums, make random statements about erectile dysfunction and lie. What could i possibly gain by making such a statement?

I know people in their early 20s that have actually been coaxed by their doctors into trying it. They only give you four tablets though. I don't know why people think it's such a big deal to prescribe it. Why would it matter if you're an overstressed muppet in your 20s or an overstressed muppet in your 50s? Not every bloke in their middle ages takes it because they have health issues.

The only reason it might seem uncommon is because people that age are far too embarassed to go to their doctors.

they might offer PRIVATE prescriptions which cost a hefty amount.

but you CANNOT and i repeat this slowly. CAN NOT. get viagra off the NHS unless you have certain specific conditions. all of which need to already have been diagnosed.

Why would you waste a very costly pill on someone who can cure their problem simply by drinking less, or talking to the missus a bit more?
you wouldn't.

Erectile dysfunction in young, healthy men

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