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    Hi.
    Background: My bf and I have been together for three years and until the past couple of months things were going really well. He used to treat me so well; take me out everywhere. Literally the only problem I had with our relationship back then was that he would break contact as soon as something more important got in the way (and I'm talking months of no or at least very little contact). We moved to separate unis and suddenly things began to change, he stopped talking to me again and stopped making an effort, I'd ask him to change and nothing would change. It was like he had become a completely different person, he stopped telling me "I love you" (claiming his friends thought it was tacky, with no discussion with me about it) and stopped complementing me at all. But then continued to complement his friends (girls), saying that he was just raising their self-esteem.

    I kept asking him whether he really wanted this and he's always say yes of course I do and eventually he started to get annoyed at me asking, because he was unable to see that his actions were giving me such mixed messages.

    Eventually we stop arguing and decide to just act like nothing was wrong and talk like normal and after a few days of this things were going good until he told me that he had kissed another girl when drunk. I don't really know where to go from here really? I know he was drunk but honestly, I'm not sure if that's even a valid excuse because if someone he didn't like had kissed him then he would have pushed them away.

    But how am I supposed to trust him now, first he kisses someone else, next he'll sleep with someone else you know?
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    (Original post by LouieSax)
    Hi.
    Background: My bf and I have been together for three years and until the past couple of months things were going really well. He used to treat me so well; take me out everywhere. Literally the only problem I had with our relationship back then was that he would break contact as soon as something more important got in the way (and I'm talking months of no or at least very little contact). We moved to separate unis and suddenly things began to change, he stopped talking to me again and stopped making an effort, I'd ask him to change and nothing would change. It was like he had become a completely different person, he stopped telling me "I love you" (claiming his friends thought it was tacky, with no discussion with me about it) and stopped complementing me at all. But then continued to complement his friends (girls), saying that he was just raising their self-esteem.

    I kept asking him whether he really wanted this and he's always say yes of course I do and eventually he started to get annoyed at me asking, because he was unable to see that his actions were giving me such mixed messages.

    Eventually we stop arguing and decide to just act like nothing was wrong and talk like normal and after a few days of this things were going good until he told me that he had kissed another girl when drunk. I don't really know where to go from here really? I know he was drunk but honestly, I'm not sure if that's even a valid excuse because if someone he didn't like had kissed him then he would have pushed them away.

    But how am I supposed to trust him now, first he kisses someone else, next he'll sleep with someone else you know?
    Being drunk is no excuse, sorry but you should end the relationship.
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    There is a saying about cheaters always being cheaters, the respect of a boy who cheats is questionable; dump him.
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    He's not into the relationship anymore.
    He's not into you anymore.

    He stopped putting in effort, you expressed to him that you needed that to change- he didn't.

    Now he tells you that he's cheated on you, have some self respect. You were unhappy with the relationship even before you knew he was cheating, what makes you think you could be happy with the "relationship" now knowing that he has cheated? you are setting yourself for more heartache and mystery.

    It's either you move on or accept being in a miserable "relationship".
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    (Original post by LouieSax)
    Hi.
    Background: My bf and I have been together for three years and until the past couple of months things were going really well. He used to treat me so well; take me out everywhere. Literally the only problem I had with our relationship back then was that he would break contact as soon as something more important got in the way (and I'm talking months of no or at least very little contact). We moved to separate unis and suddenly things began to change, he stopped talking to me again and stopped making an effort, I'd ask him to change and nothing would change. It was like he had become a completely different person, he stopped telling me "I love you" (claiming his friends thought it was tacky, with no discussion with me about it) and stopped complementing me at all. But then continued to complement his friends (girls), saying that he was just raising their self-esteem.

    I kept asking him whether he really wanted this and he's always say yes of course I do and eventually he started to get annoyed at me asking, because he was unable to see that his actions were giving me such mixed messages.

    Eventually we stop arguing and decide to just act like nothing was wrong and talk like normal and after a few days of this things were going good until he told me that he had kissed another girl when drunk. I don't really know where to go from here really? I know he was drunk but honestly, I'm not sure if that's even a valid excuse because if someone he didn't like had kissed him then he would have pushed them away.

    But how am I supposed to trust him now, first he kisses someone else, next he'll sleep with someone else you know?
    Did he show remorse for what he did? Did he seem genuinely upset?
    One kiss after 3 years is bad yes but you can work it out if that's all he did. If it were me, I'd give him another chance but I'd tell him everything that's bothering me about the relationship because clearly it's not as good as it was. If he loves you, he'll change. You'll know.
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    He doesn't speak to you for months at a time? It barely sounds like a relationship.

    He's not into it any more; don't waste your time and self respect dragging it out more when he's emotionally checked out.


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    Your relationship broke down ages ago. He's just too cowardly to come out and say it. Move on and find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
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    I'd have probably ended it if my boyfriend stopped telling me he loved me or complementing me because his friends thought it was tacky. Makes it sound like he's embarrassed to be with you, and what his friends think shouldn't influence how he treats you. Or even before that, with months of little or no contact? That's barely a relationship. Sounds like he wants to keep you to have a girlfriend, but he doesn't really care about you.
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    (Original post by LouieSax)
    he stopped telling me "I love you" (claiming his friends thought it was tacky, with no discussion with me about it)


    I really think you should end it with him.
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    Then he's not ur boyfriend anymore.


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    I think you already knew this relationship was a failure long before he got with other girls.

    I'm sorry but it's over, you can find someone better who won't ignore you for months and cheat on you. And you will get over it I promise.
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    End it asap. It's will become toxic af.
 
 
 
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