I lie...

This is like some insecurity thing I think-but I lie a lot! I think its to try and impress people but i always seem to be stretching the truth about myself, like making out im more sociable than i am, or even stupid little things like pretending I like the same tv programme as someone. Sometimes I dont even know im doing it I just blurt out these stupid little exaggerations! what shall i do?

Reply 1

Talya

16

You sound like I used to be! Don't worry...

You just have to think before you speak. Always. It's hard but you get used to it. And it's worth it because you'll feel better about yourself when you're being honest :smile:

Reply 2

Angrybanana

11

penny_lane89

This is like some insecurity thing I think-but I lie a lot! I think its to try and impress people but i always seem to be stretching the truth about myself, like making out im more sociable than i am, or even stupid little things like pretending I like the same tv programme as someone. Sometimes I dont even know im doing it I just blurt out these stupid little exaggerations! what shall i do?

I do that occasionally without thinking about it. They're only white lies, as long as you don't lie about really important things it doesn't matter :smile:

It's a lot more common than you realise, you're just one of few people who admit it.

Reply 3

Lara C.

3

personally i dont have any time for liers, i feel they have a weak personality and i can gain nothing from knowing them.

theres no need to lie unless you are trying to make up for something?!

Reply 4

Segat1

16

I had a friend who used to tell me lots of stories about how when she lived in Malaysia she was kidnapped by drug barons, and then the shark that bit her *but no scar, cos the great plastic surgeons fixed it!* and how he was related to blah blah blah. It got hysterical at times. She was off her head.

Reply 5

Phantom Phoenix

13

I used to be like that - I only managed to stop when I made a conscious (sp? I'm really not doing well today!) effort to quit. There was no malicious intent, I didn't think I was trying to impress people particularly nor to cover up unpleasant truths. I think I'd actually have been more comfortable with myself if there had been an obvious ulterior motive!

I've come to the conclusion, given the benefit of hindsight, that it stems from my desire to please people and make them like me (something I'd assume you also have, from your statement that you tell people you like the same programmes as them, for example). It was really upsetting as I never lie deliberately and these little untruths would just slip out in conversation without my meaning it. I think it's a side-effect of the crippling insecurity and inferiority complex I had (and to a lesser degree still have).

I eventually forced myself to stop by admitting to my boyfriend that I was doing it, and from then on if I ever lied I admitted it to him immediately. It sounds stupid but the idea of telling him I'd made something up just embarrassed/shamed me into stopping, especially since he was so nice about it!

I'm not sure whether that'd work for you, but I thought you might like to know that other people have the same problem (and it is possible to train yourself out of it). :smile:

Reply 6

SB

2

I'm sure what you're lying about tells you a lot about what you dislike about your life... if you didn't feel insecure about how you are you wouldn't feel the need to. So I'd say try and change things about yourself... if you want to be more sociable, why don't you suggest going out for a meal with these people, for example, or a quick drink after work/uni/school?

But at the same time, you have to be really careful. If this escalates you will start feeling like people don't like you, just who you pretend to be. And so you'll feel you have to keep doing it. For the first couple of weeks it'll be difficult, but once you start to realise that people do like you for who you actually are it'll get easier. Good luck!

Reply 7

Talya

16

Segat1

I had a friend who used to tell me lots of stories about how when she lived in Malaysia she was kidnapped by drug barons, and then the shark that bit her *but no scar, cos the great plastic surgeons fixed it!* and how he was related to blah blah blah. It got hysterical at times. She was off her head.

I doubt the OP is like that at all, especially since she is trying to change :smile:

Reply 8

penny_lane89

OP

Phantom Phoenix

I've come to the conclusion, given the benefit of hindsight, that it stems from my desire to please people and make them like me (something I'd assume you also have, from your statement that you tell people you like the same programmes as them, for example). It was really upsetting as I never lie deliberately and these little untruths would just slip out in conversation without my meaning it. I think it's a side-effect of the crippling insecurity and inferiority complex I had (and to a lesser degree still have).

Yeah I think thats exactly what I have, i am really trying to get over it, i think what ur doing sounds good except I have no boyfriend lol. It just gets to me cos its really stupid things I tend to lie about!

Reply 9

yellow96

15

I know a girl who lies about everything to everybody. She's a total psychopath though, which I doubt you are. All I can recommend is that you pull yourself together and just stop lying. People aren't taken in by compulsive liars - to your face they may pretend to believe you, but I guarantee you that behind your back people are starting to question the things you tell them. Since you've taken the first step of admitting to yourself that you're a liar, take it all the way and stop NOW before you lose the trust and respect of all your friends.

Reply 10

Segat1

16

Talya

I doubt the OP is like that at all, especially since she is trying to change :smile:

Oh no,I wasn't implying that! Sorry....

Reply 11

Talya

16

Segat1

Oh no,I wasn't implying that! Sorry....

Is OK! I just get touchy sometimes, because people like me and the OP are in no way being malicious, we're just insecure :frown:

Reply 12

Phantom Phoenix

13

penny_lane89

Yeah I think thats exactly what I have, i am really trying to get over it, i think what ur doing sounds good except I have no boyfriend lol. It just gets to me cos its really stupid things I tend to lie about!

I know the feeling, it used to really bother me. :frown:

What about a best friend? Or maybe you could talk to a member of your family, if there's one you get one with well (I think an older brother or sister would be ideal, if you have one). In any case, I definitely think it's worth a shot. Hey, use me if you want, I spend half my life on TSR anyway so I'm always about! Seriously, PM me if you want to talk about it, I know how crappy I ended up feeling about myself sometimes. :hugs:

Reply 13

LipGloss

I lie to boyfriends about how great they are in bed. All the time.

Reply 14

Phantom Phoenix

13

LipGloss

I lie to boyfriends about how great they are in bed. All the time.

Yeah, but that's really not what the OP's talking about - what you're on about is a deliberate white lie, whereas the OP's problem is that lies just tend to slip into conversation almost by accident.

Reply 15

Shockley

15

I am exactly the same as the OP, I made up little stories to impress people and told white lies in nearly every sentence.

Then I stopped because I realised I was only lying to myself, trying to make myself feel better.

Reply 16

L i b

19

I lie occasionally for zero reason - nothing impressive, just bizarre things that are of no consequence. Maybe it keeps me enigmatic or something, maybe it's one of those fears of people knowing too much about what actually goes on inside my head - who knows?

Except for people I've only just met, sometimes I lie to them with a very definite motivation: humour.

Reply 17

yellow96

15

*Is probably about to get flamed*

For the people who say they lie out of insecurity - does it not occur you that the people you lie to almost certainly know you're lying to them and subsequently don't like you because of it? I have very strong feelings about liars, but I've never been able to get a straight answer to this question from one.

Reply 18

lamenter

12

Well if you cheat and steal. You have to be careful Eddie Guerrero died. Good thing your trying to change. Remember baby steps. How ever if they are to small you might end up like poor Eddie.

Reply 19

ßlαcksωαn

17

Stop trying to impress everyone around you, if they don't like you for who you are, they can **** off quite frankly.

I lie...

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