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can someone review/critique my poem for an upcoming poetry slam? Watch

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    I'm thirteen so I don't know whether this topic of islamophobia will interest people of my age. But let's hope it will. ><
    It's kinda long and it's all from real experiences of what people have said to me so yeah without further ado!


    I Am Sorry.
    Let me repeat that I am so so sorry. I am sorry that I LOOK like some one who would indoctrinate the young and kill those who wouldn't follow along and be another sheep in the herd all because they were so called 'non believers' I apologize,
    I bet that made you worry.
    I am so damn sorry that I'm walking these streets that were very CLEARLY belonged to you.
    As a matter of fact, you're right let me go back to my own country.
    It's not like my mother had dodged death by an inch, when she was granted the all clear to stay in country where she wouldn't be at risk
    from civil war that lasted over how many decades already?
    It's totally understandable how 'you towel heads should go back to your own country'
    well last time I checked Sweden wasn't a predominantly Muslim country.
    But no.
    You're ideology isn't twisted.
    I 100% understand.
    I mean it's totally okay to believe that because individuals action all of those associated with them are to blame.
    I get it.
    I KNOW why your worried.
    In you eyes I...
    I look like 'terrorist'.
    I look like ISIS.
    I look like someone who destroy your perfect lifestyle
    But no.
    Let me clear a few things up.
    For the record, No I won't blow you up. I DONT test out bombs in my back garden.
    When I sit down there's no need to abruptly walk away from me in a panic. I don't mean to do harm
    I do actually mean peace.
    When I set my bag down its not a bomb.
    Just because I wear a head scarf doesn't mean I have a bomb under it
    I actually LOVE learning about other religions.
    I guess it's your opinion that's there's too many Muslims in the country but... But for one second have you stopped and thought that you don't need to click a button and destroying everything around you living or not to be a terrorist.
    You don't need to be brainwashed and radicalized
    to believe in all of the fabricated lies fed to you.
    It takes one to know one
    my friend the tables have switched.
    You are the one who's terrorizing me. With that I will end with may peace be upon you.
    May peace be you
    May peace be you so that one day you'll stop hating and start loving
    So that one day I can roam the streets without having to worry about people hurt me because of my religion.
    A decision that I have made ON MY OWN.
    A decision that I have not been forced into
    A decision that I excepted into my heart with out questioning it.
    Because I already knew it was right. A decision that has been the best one of my very short life so far.
    May peace be upon you and may you finally one day learn the actual definition of a terrorist
    so that you can stop being one.


    It's my first time writing a Poem. XD ignore the spelling errors I did this on my phone. But yes I was hoping for some constructive criticism. )
    Thanks i advance!!
    • TSR Support Team
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    I've read this a few times over the last day or so and I really like it. I wouldn't edit it too much otherwise it will lose an edge.

    When are you performing it? Good luck!!
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    (Original post by Neostigmine)
    I've read this a few times over the last day or so and I really like it. I wouldn't edit it too much otherwise it will lose an edge.

    When are you performing it? Good luck!!

    Ill be performing it today! Im not sure whether i will but if i have to read a poem ill do this one
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    (Original post by Peaces_02)
    I'm thirteen so I don't know whether this topic of islamophobia will interest people of my age. But let's hope it will. ><
    It's kinda long and it's all from real experiences of what people have said to me so yeah without further ado!


    I Am Sorry.
    Let me repeat that I am so so sorry. I am sorry that I LOOK like some one who would indoctrinate the young and kill those who wouldn't follow along and be another sheep in the herd all because they were so called 'non believers' I apologize,
    I bet that made you worry.
    I am so damn sorry that I'm walking these streets that were very CLEARLY belonged to you.
    As a matter of fact, you're right let me go back to my own country.
    It's not like my mother had dodged death by an inch, when she was granted the all clear to stay in country where she wouldn't be at risk
    from civil war that lasted over how many decades already?
    It's totally understandable how 'you towel heads should go back to your own country'
    well last time I checked Sweden wasn't a predominantly Muslim country.
    But no.
    You're ideology isn't twisted.
    I 100% understand.
    I mean it's totally okay to believe that because individuals action all of those associated with them are to blame.
    I get it.
    I KNOW why your worried.
    In you eyes I...
    I look like 'terrorist'.
    I look like ISIS.
    I look like someone who destroy your perfect lifestyle
    But no.
    Let me clear a few things up.
    For the record, No I won't blow you up. I DONT test out bombs in my back garden.
    When I sit down there's no need to abruptly walk away from me in a panic. I don't mean to do harm
    I do actually mean peace.
    When I set my bag down its not a bomb.
    Just because I wear a head scarf doesn't mean I have a bomb under it
    I actually LOVE learning about other religions.
    I guess it's your opinion that's there's too many Muslims in the country but... But for one second have you stopped and thought that you don't need to click a button and destroying everything around you living or not to be a terrorist.
    You don't need to be brainwashed and radicalized
    to believe in all of the fabricated lies fed to you.
    It takes one to know one
    my friend the tables have switched.
    You are the one who's terrorizing me. With that I will end with may peace be upon you.
    May peace be you
    May peace be you so that one day you'll stop hating and start loving
    So that one day I can roam the streets without having to worry about people hurt me because of my religion.
    A decision that I have made ON MY OWN.
    A decision that I have not been forced into
    A decision that I excepted into my heart with out questioning it.
    Because I already knew it was right. A decision that has been the best one of my very short life so far.
    May peace be upon you and may you finally one day learn the actual definition of a terrorist
    so that you can stop being one.


    It's my first time writing a Poem. XD ignore the spelling errors I did this on my phone. But yes I was hoping for some constructive criticism. )
    Thanks i advance!!
    Wow this is really impressive!

    Considering your age, it's amazing that you've grasped these concepts so early and are confident enough to talk about it eloquently.

    I really like
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