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what shall I do?
I've been with my boyfriend 2 and half yrs now and we are both in our first yr at the same uni.
When we are at home (as we came from the same place) he's fairly considerate but when we are at uni he wants to be with his mates which I understand but
he seems to ignore me.For instance I suggested going to a theme park nearby and he said thats a good idea I can arrange a lads day out, or another time he says to me that you don't really go to night clubs with your girlfriend when he goes with his corridor mates.
Last night he said he would stay over at mine, I went round to his @2ish we had a barbecue with friends went to the pics with them and when we got back to uni he said I'm tired now so I don't think I'll stay round at ours as I get a better nights sleep at my own room. (he went out clubbing the night before). Although he said I'll come back to your halls to get your car (so he can go out to casino in it this afternoon) and he has put himself on the insurance). I went to my rom and went on MSN to a friend and then he came on, so I rang him to say oh you wern't that tired then!
Trouble is I then get moody and tbh naggy as I want to see him an get disappointed when he does things like this. We do see each other lunchtimes but it's not quality time so to speak, so what should I do?
should I expect less off him or what?
Thanks
When we are at home (as we came from the same place) he's fairly considerate but when we are at uni he wants to be with his mates which I understand but
he seems to ignore me.For instance I suggested going to a theme park nearby and he said thats a good idea I can arrange a lads day out, or another time he says to me that you don't really go to night clubs with your girlfriend when he goes with his corridor mates.
Last night he said he would stay over at mine, I went round to his @2ish we had a barbecue with friends went to the pics with them and when we got back to uni he said I'm tired now so I don't think I'll stay round at ours as I get a better nights sleep at my own room. (he went out clubbing the night before). Although he said I'll come back to your halls to get your car (so he can go out to casino in it this afternoon) and he has put himself on the insurance). I went to my rom and went on MSN to a friend and then he came on, so I rang him to say oh you wern't that tired then!
Trouble is I then get moody and tbh naggy as I want to see him an get disappointed when he does things like this. We do see each other lunchtimes but it's not quality time so to speak, so what should I do?
should I expect less off him or what?
Thanks
Give him a bit more room maybe?
Jaynie
I've been with my boyfriend 2 and half yrs now and we are both in our first yr at the same uni.
When we are at home (as we came from the same place) he's fairly considerate but when we are at uni he wants to be with his mates which I understand but
he seems to ignore me.For instance I suggested going to a theme park nearby and he said thats a good idea I can arrange a lads day out, or another time he says to me that you don't really go to night clubs with your girlfriend when he goes with his corridor mates.
Last night he said he would stay over at mine, I went round to his @2ish we had a barbecue with friends went to the pics with them and when we got back to uni he said I'm tired now so I don't think I'll stay round at ours as I get a better nights sleep at my own room. (he went out clubbing the night before). Although he said I'll come back to your halls to get your car (so he can go out to casino in it this afternoon) and he has put himself on the insurance). I went to my rom and went on MSN to a friend and then he came on, so I rang him to say oh you wern't that tired then!
Trouble is I then get moody and tbh naggy as I want to see him an get disappointed when he does things like this. We do see each other lunchtimes but it's not quality time so to speak, so what should I do?
should I expect less off him or what?
Thanks
When we are at home (as we came from the same place) he's fairly considerate but when we are at uni he wants to be with his mates which I understand but
he seems to ignore me.For instance I suggested going to a theme park nearby and he said thats a good idea I can arrange a lads day out, or another time he says to me that you don't really go to night clubs with your girlfriend when he goes with his corridor mates.
Last night he said he would stay over at mine, I went round to his @2ish we had a barbecue with friends went to the pics with them and when we got back to uni he said I'm tired now so I don't think I'll stay round at ours as I get a better nights sleep at my own room. (he went out clubbing the night before). Although he said I'll come back to your halls to get your car (so he can go out to casino in it this afternoon) and he has put himself on the insurance). I went to my rom and went on MSN to a friend and then he came on, so I rang him to say oh you wern't that tired then!
Trouble is I then get moody and tbh naggy as I want to see him an get disappointed when he does things like this. We do see each other lunchtimes but it's not quality time so to speak, so what should I do?
should I expect less off him or what?
Thanks
Sorry for being negative but it sounds like he's cheating on you!
perhaps am 100% wrong but have you considered this??? if he's avoiding you its either he finds you too clings or he's cheating! just confront him and say why are you avoiding me?!From what you have said, I guess your boyfriend should be a bit more considerate... Has he been like this all year or just recently? I think the more you nag him, the more you may push him away... why don't you spend more time with your girlfriends? 
I'm sure everything will work out eventually...
I'm sure everything will work out eventually...decky1989
Sorry for being negative but it sounds like he's cheating on you! perhaps am 100% wrong but have you considered this??? if he's avoiding you its either he finds you too clings or he's cheating! just confront him and say why are you avoiding me?!
perhaps am 100% wrong but have you considered this??? if he's avoiding you its either he finds you too clings or he's cheating! just confront him and say why are you avoiding me?!are you serious...
why is clubbing with your girlfriend not so good?
and decky I don't think he's cheating but he is a bit of a flirt.
I sometimes think he's like this because he wants me to finish with him, although again not to sure.
I do do things with friends but tbh I just like being with him, when we do talk he says he will try to be more considerate but then still lies over little things or says we will do this and that and puts "my hopes up" and then can't understand why I get moody when he does something completely different.
and decky I don't think he's cheating but he is a bit of a flirt.
I sometimes think he's like this because he wants me to finish with him, although again not to sure.
I do do things with friends but tbh I just like being with him, when we do talk he says he will try to be more considerate but then still lies over little things or says we will do this and that and puts "my hopes up" and then can't understand why I get moody when he does something completely different.
First of all, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to keep a bit of independence in a relationship. My boyfriend and I love having our alone time together and going out with mutual friends, but sometimes we do equally go out by ourselves with people that the other one hasn't even met before. As embarrassingly in love as we are, even we do have our own private space sometimes!
However... whilst I understand my boyfriend sometimes wanting to go out for a pint with all of his male friends and not have any women there, I think I'd find it odd if he wanted to go out clubbing without me.
It's an entirely different environment - a lot of people go clubbing to try and pull someone, and it's a place where a lot of groping and flirting goes on. Personally, I hate going clubbing without my boyfriend, as I get hit on quite a bit, and just want him to be there to prove that I don't need or want any extra male attention! Conversely, if he went out clubbing without me, I'm sure he'd get some sort of female attention, and I would find it odd that he actively wanted that. I would expect some part of him to be wishing I was the one there with him, wanting to try it on, and not some random bird!
If he went out clubbing from time to time without me, I wouldn't have a problem. But if he always went out clubbing without me and made it clear I was never going to be invited... that would be deeply worrying. Generally speaking, you go out with your mates without your girlfriend for a pint to talk about blokey stuff. You go out with your mates without your girlfriend to a club to pull other girls.
However... whilst I understand my boyfriend sometimes wanting to go out for a pint with all of his male friends and not have any women there, I think I'd find it odd if he wanted to go out clubbing without me.
It's an entirely different environment - a lot of people go clubbing to try and pull someone, and it's a place where a lot of groping and flirting goes on. Personally, I hate going clubbing without my boyfriend, as I get hit on quite a bit, and just want him to be there to prove that I don't need or want any extra male attention! Conversely, if he went out clubbing without me, I'm sure he'd get some sort of female attention, and I would find it odd that he actively wanted that. I would expect some part of him to be wishing I was the one there with him, wanting to try it on, and not some random bird!
If he went out clubbing from time to time without me, I wouldn't have a problem. But if he always went out clubbing without me and made it clear I was never going to be invited... that would be deeply worrying. Generally speaking, you go out with your mates without your girlfriend for a pint to talk about blokey stuff. You go out with your mates without your girlfriend to a club to pull other girls.
shona
However... whilst I understand my boyfriend sometimes wanting to go out for a pint with all of his male friends and not have any women there, I think I'd find it odd if he wanted to go out clubbing without me.
Generally speaking, you go out with your mates without your girlfriend for a pint to talk about blokey stuff. You go out with your mates without your girlfriend to a club to pull other girls.
However... whilst I understand my boyfriend sometimes wanting to go out for a pint with all of his male friends and not have any women there, I think I'd find it odd if he wanted to go out clubbing without me.
Generally speaking, you go out with your mates without your girlfriend for a pint to talk about blokey stuff. You go out with your mates without your girlfriend to a club to pull other girls.
Not true. I go to both pubs and clubs with my girl, i go to both clubs and pubs without my girlfriend.
Why is going out clubbing considered to be a place to pull, and only to pull. i go with mates get really really drunk and have a laugh, act stupid.
My girlfriend also goes out with her mates clubbing.
I mean yea its great when your at a club with your girlfriend, can get drunk together and have a good time.
Haha however, when we go out clubbing together we have alot of mates and we tend to branch off with different people and then meet back up by bumping into each other later on. Its all good.
And if a guy tried it on with my girl i would be over there in no time, saying hey man, piss off!
We have been together for over 2 years now, love each other very much, but have our own space.
So yea too each their own.
I'd be a bit upset if my boyfriend kept letting me down like that. Once every now and then is fine, but he should stay when he says he will. If I were you I'd have a word, tell him you're fine with him wanting to spend time alone with his friends but you also want some quality time with just him. And borrowing your car... what's with that? Did he even ask if he could borrow it tomorrow, or just assume that would be OK? Sounds like he's taking you a bit for granted, and you shouldn't stand for that.
But on the other hand, you should trust him enough to go clubbing without you; a lot of guys just go so they can act like a bit of a drunken idiot without embarrassing their girlfriend. As long as you don't think he'd actually get with anyone who was coming on to him you shouldn't have a problem with it... and if you do, there's clearly a deeper issue in the relationship. Soul-searching time I think!
But on the other hand, you should trust him enough to go clubbing without you; a lot of guys just go so they can act like a bit of a drunken idiot without embarrassing their girlfriend. As long as you don't think he'd actually get with anyone who was coming on to him you shouldn't have a problem with it... and if you do, there's clearly a deeper issue in the relationship. Soul-searching time I think!
I couldn't have gone clubbing with my ex, he would have spent the whole time with his 'you touch her and i'll rip your limbs off' face on. He also would have stuck to me like glue. The last time i went to a club with him was with his mates and i wanted to dance so he begged his mate to go with me cos he wouldn't and he didn't take his eyes off me the whole time. I go clubbing with my mates, its more relaxed, i can't just have fun.
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