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Can not being attracted to black men be apart of one's sexuality? Watch

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    I am just sincerely curious? I like am sorta black myself. But I have never had any interest whatsoever in black men. And to me I just prefer guys who look more like myself. That are lighter skinned that are mixed or at least look mixed. I've always been that way with my sexuality. I like white men more in general to average black guys. But I like mixed guys more than both. I think it has a bit to do with what my perception of what virility is to me. And just also my own environment when my sexuality developed. I have never looked at a black in any sense of sexual lust. It just doesn't work for me. Anyhow, I guess I have a type. Has anyone else found in their sexuality it excludes a specific race or whatever? Is there a name for that?
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    So deep I'm swimming in the deepness. Yet so shallow at the same time.
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    ....sorta black. WTF.
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    (Original post by Anon993)
    I am just sincerely curious? I like am sorta black myself. But I have never had any interest whatsoever in black men. And to me I just prefer guys who look more like myself. That are lighter skinned that are mixed or at least look mixed. I've always been that way with my sexuality. I like white men more in general to average black guys. But I like mixed guys more than both. I think it has a bit to do with what my perception of what virility is to me. And just also my own environment when my sexuality developed. I have never looked at a black in any sense of sexual lust. It just doesn't work for me. Anyhow, I guess I have a type. Has anyone else found in their sexuality it excludes a specific race or whatever? Is there a name for that?


    Firstly what do you mean by 'am sorta black myself.'

    all that aside, you have stated that you prefer lighter skin/ white men so that is exactly what it is ...your PREFERENCE.

    your sexuality is not determined by race.

    ie I could be a lesbian who has a preference for Latino girls.

    My sexuality is not lesbian loving Latino's even if I do like the alliteration.
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    (Original post by ReaErin)
    Firstly what do you mean by 'am sorta black myself.'

    all that aside, you have stated that you prefer lighter skin/ white men so that is exactly what it is ...your PREFERENCE.

    your sexuality is not determined by race.

    ie I could be a lesbian who has a preference for Latino girls.

    My sexuality is not lesbian loving Latino's even if I do like the alliteration.
    My dad is black. But my mom is English American descent. I look white though. I have to show my sister for people to recognize I'm actually half black usually they ask if we're half sister some recognize I have curly red hair and put two and two together.

    I feel like it is. Like my sexuality has oriented me to specific ethnic backgrounds.
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    (Original post by donte)
    ....sorta black. WTF.
    I meant that my dad is black but I am lighter skinned and don't happen to look black. I get told more often I look a lot like rene russo in the 70's meet Nicole kidman in the 80's. Both white women. I think I do have some african features though. People just don't notice them Like I have super curly red hair. But the color throws people off. And I have fuller lips and my nose is small but the nostrils are longish I'd say. And I can tan. But I have white skin. And I'm kind of curvy shaped. I'm shaped a lot like abigail ratchford. I see myself as a person of color well as biracial but a lot of people don't really notice it. Just think I'm Italian or something I guess idk.
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    (Original post by Anon993)
    My dad is black. But my mom is English American descent. I look white though. I have to show my sister for people to recognize I'm actually half black usually they ask if we're half sister some recognize I have curly red hair and put two and two together.

    I feel like it is. Like my sexuality has oriented me to specific ethnic backgrounds.
    Hun whether you look white or not you are still mixed race and as long as you are aware of it other peoples perception of you should have no bearing on you as a person.It worries me slightly that you are unsure of your association with your 'black side'.
    I guess you are entitled to feel however you please but knowing you are heterosexual does not mean its only white guys you can be with. if it is only white guys or light skin guys that's what you prefer/what you are used to.
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    (Original post by ReaErin)
    Hun whether you look white or not you are still mixed race and as long as you are aware of it other peoples perception of you should have no bearing on you as a person.It worries me slightly that you are unsure of your association with your 'black side'.
    I guess you are entitled to feel however you please but knowing you are heterosexual does not mean its only white guys you can be with. if it is only white guys or light skin guys that's what you prefer/what you are used to.

    So is Candice swanepoel then....

    Like I said in the other post I see myself as mixed. But to me culturally in America black people and white people have the exact same cultures so I don't see the difference. I think though you are trying to make up something in your mind as half the things you posted I never said or implied.
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    (Original post by Anon993)
    I meant that my dad is black but I am lighter skinned and don't happen to look black. I get told more often I look a lot like rene russo in the 70's meet Nicole kidman in the 80's. Both white women. I think I do have some african features though. People just don't notice them Like I have super curly red hair. But the color throws people off. And I have fuller lips and my nose is small but the nostrils are longish I'd say. And I can tan. But I have white skin. And I'm kind of curvy shaped. I see myself as a person of color well as biracial but a lot of people don't really notice it. Just think I'm Italian or something I guess idk.
    Hun you're not "sorta black" you are mixed race/half black. Seriously just say that. "Sorta black" implies you're another Rachel Dolezal...
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    (Original post by donte)
    Hun you're not "sorta black" you are mixed race/half black. Seriously just say that. "Sorta black" implies you're another Rachel Dolezal...
    Well that's actually the response I tend to get. I've been actually told once that I looked whiter than rachael dolezal and that I was a liar. I don't normally mention that I'm black unless well it comes up about my sister for those reasons. Plus you know you get to see who's really an *******...

    As far as I know though I'd actually like to take a dna test to see how much African ancestry I actually have. My dad's black but his family looks quite similar to Jade thirwall's family... And she's not even black. My dad's family looks a lot similar to I guess many creole americans look in the south. But my dad's family is from the north like New jersey and California.
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    (Original post by Anon993)
    So is Candice swanepoel then....

    Like I said in the other post I see myself as mixed. But to me culturally in America black people and white people have the exact same cultures so I don't see the difference. I think though you are trying to make up something in your mind as half the things you posted I never said or implied.

    for someone who describes themselves as 'sorta black' doesn't imply that you are as sure of yourself as you are now trying to portray. If people asked what race i am i would tell them and if they choose not to believe me then that is on them, why do you feel you have to prove it to them by showing your sister. so yes you may not have said some-things but what you did say showed me a lot. Also i would not be so naive as to say that culturally black and white people have the ' EXACT same cultures ' you are misguided.

    Your Candice swanepoel reference i'm still struggling to see its connection to this conversation.
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    (Original post by ReaErin)
    for someone who describes themselves as 'sorta black' doesn't imply that you are as sure of yourself as you are now trying to portray. If people asked what race i am i would tell them and if they choose not to believe me then that is on them, why do you feel you have to prove it to them by showing your sister. so yes you may not have said some-things but what you did say showed me a lot. Also i would not be so naive as to say that culturally black and white people have the ' EXACT same cultures ' you are misguided.

    Your Candice swanepoel reference i'm still struggling to see its connection to this conversation.
    Candice swanepoel is what people call white. Yet she is mixed... That's what I was reffering to.

    I have a cousin that looks similar to her when she has her natural hair. But society won't see her nor my cousin as black because that's not the look mixed people are thought to look like. And mostly I'm unsure because my dad's family very pale. I'll give examples. You know all of my dad's family light skin but can tan well. They look almost white for the most part. For me the Candice swanepoel example is my experience as well. I don't have any obvious signs of being black so you get used to the fact that people see you as white especially when I'm not even familiar with my dad's family.


    Yeah black americans really do. The only cultural things are associate with black are things that are basically stereotypes and offensive.
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    As a fellow mixed race girl your posts screams of identity issues, a desperate lust if not obsession to be accepted by whites and even to blend into whites, and daddy issues from rejection by your black father and family. To an extent I can relate I have a Caribbean father and a Nordic mother so I came out very white looking indeed, but I'm not white nor am I black - I am both. I'm not attracted to black men myself and I've had a hard time with my father (who despite this is physically present and married to my mother). I just live my life though and don't get hung up on race or make it a focus. Trying to invent a sexuality to do with excluding a race seems pretty obsessional in my view, I would even go so far as to say the issue of race is sending you neurotic (see the term 'mixed nut' and 'tragic mulatta'. Just let it go, let it be and live your life. You don't have to invent more ridiculous labels and restrictions to justify your feelings of incompleteness. The less you think about race the better you will feel.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As a fellow mixed race girl your posts screams of identity issues, a desperate lust if not obsession to be accepted by whites and even to blend into whites, and daddy issues from rejection by your black father and family. To an extent I can relate I have a Caribbean father and a Nordic mother so I came out very white looking indeed, but I'm not white nor am I black - I am both. I'm not attracted to black men myself and I've had a hard time with my father (who despite this is physically present and married to my mother). I just live my life though and don't get hung up on race or make it a focus. Trying to invent a sexuality to do with excluding a race seems pretty obsessional in my view, I would even go so far as to say the issue of race is sending you neurotic (see the term 'mixed nut' and 'tragic mulatta'. Just let it go, let it be and live your life. You don't have to invent more ridiculous labels and restrictions to justify your feelings of incompleteness. The less you think about race the better you will feel.
    No my dad died. He didn't leave. And I honestly don't see my dad as exactly black. For reasons I already explained... He's legally black but so is delonte west. Why be a slave and accept a label slave owners forced upon people just to keep free labor and still rape black women? Seriously I don't agree with that.

    I do recognize I do have African heritage not the same extent as you probably do but it's still there. And there's no need to be jealous of me appearing more caucasian I think my sister is actually more beautiful with her tan and blonde hair than myself. And in a sense it's why I like mixed guys they have the best of both worlds. I like white guys. But not as much as I am attracted to mixed guys. I don't have any attraction to black guys though. It is true that I blended in when I was a child with other white children and I probably still do, But that's not my fault. I didn't create myself. I just happen to look the way I do.

    Also I don't like white guys as my favorite. I am dating a guy who's lighter skinned but identifies as black. I was saying I don't like dark skinned black guys. Not for the reasons and problems you have like I said I feel it is innate. And that I naturally just prefer mixed looking men over white or black men. It seems to me you consciously are trying to not date black guys that's different from what I'm describing. I'm actually honestly never looked at a black and thought I was at all sexually attracted to him. That's something I can not help. Attraction is not whoyou date it's who you notice whether you admit it to yourself or not.
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    (Original post by Anon993)
    No my dad died. He didn't leave. And I honestly don't see my dad as exactly black. For reasons I already explained... He's legally black but so is delonte west. Why be a slave and accept a label slave owners forced upon people just to keep free labor and still rape black women. Seriously I don't agree with that.

    I do recognize I do have African heritage not the same extent as you probably do but it's still there.

    Also I don't like white guys as my favorite. I am dating a guy who's lighter skinned but identifies as black. I was saying I don't like dark skinned black guys. Not for the reasons and problems you have like I said I feel it is innate. And that I naturally just prefer mixed looking men over black men. It seems to me you consciously are trying to not date black guys that's different from what I'm describing. I'm actually honestly never looked at a black and thought I was at all sexually attracted to him. That's something I can not help.
    What on Earth?? To be honest if anyone has the 'slave' mentality it is you because of your infatuation with race, and moreover with 'whiteness'.

    I've never been attracted to black men either, but to say it is 'innate'? Are you seriously suggesting there is a gene that stops you from being attracted to black men? No, it's psychosexual. To be honest your posts clearly show that you praise 'whiteness' and want to be white yourself or at least closer to it, therefore it would be very unlikely you would then have a black partner or god forbid have children with one. In the Dominican Republic, where my dad is from, this is called 'mejorar la raza' (improve the race) or 'blanqueameinto' (whitening).
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    I'm a dark skinned black guy. It seems you have a preference for light skin guys which imo is ok to an extent. However, although you may not of seen a darker black guy who you are attracted to yet that does not mean there aren't any darker black guys who you may find attractive out there. Having a preference is fine as long as you keep an open mind and do not feel the need to completely shut down darker guys.

    To me skin colour is irrelevant. Beauty is determined by the features one possesses and not the tone of their skin. Beautiful eyes will look beautiful on a dark or light girl. So I have no preferences.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What on Earth?? To be honest if anyone has the 'slave' mentality it is you because of your infatuation with race, and moreover with 'whiteness'.

    I've never been attracted to black men either, but to say it is 'innate'? Are you seriously suggesting there is a gene that stops you from being attracted to black men? No, it's psychosexual. To be honest your posts clearly show that you praise 'whiteness' and want to be white yourself or at least closer to it, therefore it would be very unlikely you would then have a black partner or god forbid have children with one. In the Dominican Republic, where my dad is from, this is called 'mejorar la raza' (improve the race) or 'blanqueameinto' (whitening).
    Uh no in my family they look a lot different from probably you or your father that's just a fact ma'am.

    When your father walks down the street it's probably assumed he's black. And this is probably why you have some problems because he comes from a country that doesn't appreciate black people. And is the result of ethnic denial and oppression.

    My family's kind of the opposite. My dad's family look racially similar to people like mariah carey, cash warren, delonte west or even jade thirwall. Like basically they're a very light skinned family. Who is likely the result of years of denial oppression and slave rape. So to me it's like yeah they are legally black. And yeah they have black in them. But they are also mixed biologically I believe. That's what I think because I have eyes. And that family doesn't necessarily look black when out of the sun. They have white skin or close to it. And were taught to be proud of being black simply because white people couldn't accept them. When in reality they really are probably neither black nor white.


    This probably is going to make you more angry because you wish you looked lighter than you do and you wish you were in my shoes. I repeat being mixed looking is beautiful. I happen to look plain old boring white. I have always been indifferent about that but I must say my sister is more mixed looking and she's always been the prettier sister. Seriously I always wanted blonde hair and tanned skin naturally all year long...


    And no I just have no sexual energy when it comes to a dark skinned black man that's all. My sister does. She loves all races. I personally do not. I like mixed guys. Which they usually look different from me too but it's close enough and they literally have the best of both worlds. I don't care though if the guy identifies white black or in between that's not my concern. Like I said it's not a conscious thing. It's actually how my genuine sexuality seems to be.
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    I'm not sure what you're asking.
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    (Original post by STLJA)
    I'm a dark skinned black guy. It seems you have a preference for light skin guys which imo is ok to an extent. However, although you may not of seen a darker black guy who you are attracted to yet that does not mean there aren't any darker black guys who you may find attractive out there. Having a preference is fine as long as you keep an open mind and do not feel the need to completely shut down darker guys.

    To me skin colour is irrelevant. Beauty is determined by the features one possesses and not the tone of their skin. Beautiful eyes will look beautiful on a dark or light girl. So I have no preferences.
    yeah there's got to be someone out there. I haven't seen 7 billion people. So I'm definitely not saying I am against being attracted to anyone. It just has never happened for me as of yet. It's not a racist thing either for me. Like I said my bf identifies as black. I don't really care. I have a type anyone can match that really I'm attracted to.
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    Racial preference for your partner has nothing to do with racism. Everyone has a 'type' or at least certain features in mind they find attractive in a potential partner. Why can't skin colour be one of them?
    I'm white and I will probably never be sexually attracted to an East Asian guy, for instance. Nothing wrong with that.
 
 
 
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