Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Am I being paranoid? Watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    trololol
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Talk to him about it, I'm sure he will understand.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mkap)
    Talk to him about it, I'm sure he will understand.
    thank you friend I will the next time I see him :-)
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    she might just be his good friend. Just think of it this way, look at the photos and mentally replace the girl with a guy that your bf is friends with. It's not the same then is it? The idea that girls and guys cant have the same kind of friendship as guys/guys or girls/girls is a myth.

    my best friend is a girl, she often comes over for sleepovers, we spend a lot of time together out and about and have a lot of fun! We're both at the same Uni and when i was still dating my ex (long distance) she felt the same way you did, was insecure/jealous and once got upset and called me crying when my friend was over at my house saying she was 'jealous that it was my friend there and not her'. I never told my friend about it because i found it super awkward.
    she expressed her insecurities and jealousy quite often and i did my best to reassure her. when she met my friend for the first time they got on well and then one day after dropping off my friend at home my ex started sobbing in the car saying she didn't feel like there was 'room for her' whenever my best friend was around because we get along so well and communicate so well and are happy when we're hanging out.

    i really couldn't understand it tbh, especially because she'd known that my friend and I have known each other since were 13. i did everything i could to reassure her/comfort her and make her feel secure but she just has a bit of an insecure nature among other things. I showed her nothing but love and literally did everything I could to keep her happy, there's only so much love you can give before things get toxic. Eventually it was literally sucking all my emotional energy to be with her and I had to break things off and cut her out of my life.

    I get it, it's normal to feel a little jealous/insecure in a relatively short relationship. It's normal to seek comfort and reassurance, especially if you'v only been together 7 moths. I was with my gf 4 years which made her behaviour all the more astonishing to me imho. If a guy loves you, he loves you. He wants to be with you. The gender of his friends wont change that and you need to treat his female friends the same as his male friends. I bet he has similar photos of him and his guy friends on his phone.

    But I will tell you this now, needy, controlling, jealous behaviour and lack of trust will really put a guy off and damage your relationshio. If it starts to drain your bf's emotional energy just to keep reassuring you all the time then he's going to become unhappy. It's not a nice feeling when your partner doesn't trust you or the relationship enough to feel secure on their own and it can subconsciously cause the other person to start doubting the relationship too. I personally find neediness and need for constant attention/reassurance very unattractive.

    Just talk to him. Be 100% open and get it all out in the air now so it doesnt come out as regular sessions of anxiety and paranoia. Being more confident in yourself and the relationship is more attractive and will only make your relationship stronger.

    Hope it helps.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 1, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Break up or unrequited love?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.