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    I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, recently things haven't been going well and we've had lots of arguements. My girlfriends told me I need to change or else we should just end it and I agree with her 100%.My problem is my jealousy. I will get jealous over the tiniest things and kick off about it. I'll start getting into a mood and then start an argument with my girlfriend. It's because in the past I've been cheated on twice and I find it so hard to trust people but my girlfriends done so much to prove herself to me yet I will chuck it back in her face. She says she would never ever cheat on me and that I'm the only boy she wants to be with and that if she didn't want to be with me and be with someone else than she would. Deep down I really do trust this girl, and I know it sounds like I don't but I actually do.So like I said I get jealous over tiny things like if she even mentions another boys name, if she puts a photo on her Facebook and boys like it, if she talks to another boy, if she goes out on a night out, if she wants to hang out with her friends. I will always say stupid stuff and accuse her of liking someone else when really i know she only likes me.I know how pathetic it sounds and I really want to stop. How can I stop myself from getting jealous or just even not let it bother me as much. I really do want to change because I've had enough myself. What do I do?
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    (Original post by Calpol19)
    I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, recently things haven't been going well and we've had lots of arguements. My girlfriends told me I need to change or else we should just end it and I agree with her 100%.My problem is my jealousy. I will get jealous over the tiniest things and kick off about it. I'll start getting into a mood and then start an argument with my girlfriend. It's because in the past I've been cheated on twice and I find it so hard to trust people but my girlfriends done so much to prove herself to me yet I will chuck it back in her face. She says she would never ever cheat on me and that I'm the only boy she wants to be with and that if she didn't want to be with me and be with someone else than she would. Deep down I really do trust this girl, and I know it sounds like I don't but I actually do.So like I said I get jealous over tiny things like if she even mentions another boys name, if she puts a photo on her Facebook and boys like it, if she talks to another boy, if she goes out on a night out, if she wants to hang out with her friends. I will always say stupid stuff and accuse her of liking someone else when really i know she only likes me.I know how pathetic it sounds and I really want to stop. How can I stop myself from getting jealous or just even not let it bother me as much. I really do want to change because I've had enough myself. What do I do?
    She is allowed to still have a life even though she is with you. She is with you because she wants to be with you but the trouble is you will drive her away if you continue to be jealous, I find nothing more of a turn off than that. Have you not got any friends you can hang out with as well, it sounds like you are really dependant on her.
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    (Original post by Calpol19)
    I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, recently things haven't been going well and we've had lots of arguements. My girlfriends told me I need to change or else we should just end it and I agree with her 100%.My problem is my jealousy. I will get jealous over the tiniest things and kick off about it. I'll start getting into a mood and then start an argument with my girlfriend. It's because in the past I've been cheated on twice and I find it so hard to trust people but my girlfriends done so much to prove herself to me yet I will chuck it back in her face. She says she would never ever cheat on me and that I'm the only boy she wants to be with and that if she didn't want to be with me and be with someone else than she would. Deep down I really do trust this girl, and I know it sounds like I don't but I actually do.So like I said I get jealous over tiny things like if she even mentions another boys name, if she puts a photo on her Facebook and boys like it, if she talks to another boy, if she goes out on a night out, if she wants to hang out with her friends. I will always say stupid stuff and accuse her of liking someone else when really i know she only likes me.I know how pathetic it sounds and I really want to stop. How can I stop myself from getting jealous or just even not let it bother me as much. I really do want to change because I've had enough myself. What do I do?
    Hi. I understand your situation because I'm the same ; I tend to get incredibly jealous. But honestly, if you have a girl who is showing you and telling you how much she loves you and wants to be with you; what more could you ask for?; I know it's difficult because I've been cheated on before and the fear is horrible. But like you've said yourself; she's trying to gain your trust; maybe it's about time you give her that trust. Relationships aren't all about doing everything together all the time; if she wants to go out and do things with her friends she should be allowed that freedom to do so. I was incredibly jealous in the past, and honestly all it does is weaken the relationship and show that their is a lack of trust; I would ask my partner EVERY SINGLE DAY (I'm not joking) about whether or not she possessed feelings for anyone else and if she was flirting with anybody; and she never has, not once asked me if I'm cheating or whatever on her; because she knows me and she trusts me; this made me begin to realise (which is what you also need to realise) that relationships should be balanced; in order for them to be strong you need to have trust; without trust the relationship cannot sustain itself!!. Also, relationships shouldn't consist of one partner being overpowering over the other; it would just eventually lead the person to get depressed of the relationship and feel undermined.

    If you continue; your jealousy might just end up destroying your relationship
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    I understand that you would have trust issues after going through such an experience but you have to remember that those people didn't cheat on you because of anything you did or could have stopped, they did those things because of individual reasons that don't have any effect on your current relationship. Your girlfriend is a trustworthy person and she wouldn't be with you if she didn't want to. If your trust issues go beyond that it may be beneficial to speak to a counsellor so they help you move past them.
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    Well your jealousy will end up pushing her away to someone else. Not all women are cheaters it must be hurtful for her that you act like that. Turn off notifications on fb so you won't see her posts. Hang out with your mates if she is hanging out with hers.
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    You need to identify what exactly triggers this jealousy and why you can't brush it off and then you need to build up some coping mechanisms to deal with these triggers. I know you said yo have been cheated on in the past, but I mean more specific than that. Why does it matter if a guy likes her Facebook picture? When you see these things you need to calmly in your heard go over it rationally to understand that you are being irrational and how you should deal with these thoughts.

    Because like you already know you cannot keep going on like this, you're treating her badly and pushing her away and she is completely justified in finding this a deal breaker. I personally would have left already because I have been treated like that in the past and it sucked the life completely out of me it was a horrible way to live, think about it from her point of view every time you fly off the handle and realise your behaviour is not acceptable and you need to get to grips with it. If you seriously can't get it grips with it on your own I really do recommended some form of counselling because your behaviour isn't normal.
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    You need to practise some serious self control. I behaved in a similar with my ex as a result of being cheated on in my first serious relationship and I had no self control or filter whatsoever. I felt like I was completely justified in starting an argument because my feelings were hurt and my feelings should have been one of the most important things to him, etc., etc. It was all selfish, self-serving bull****. You WILL push her away if your behaviour continues.

    What is your relationship like other than this jealousy? Is she your only source of happiness, are you demanding in regards to the amount of time you spend together, etc? Cause if so it could all be signs of co-dependency. If not, that's great, it's just jealousy and you can totally kick it's ass.
 
 
 
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