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    We've been together for nearly 4 months now. We've had a few problems that's kinda been happening for the last month or so. The problem is I'm a very jealous person and quite insecure (cheated on in past). If my girlfriend starts mentioning another boy or talking about another boy or even just talking to someone I will get really mad and jealous. I'll start accusing her of stupid things and say stupid stuff like "go get with him then" or "you must have feelings for him". Pathetic right? I realise how stupid it sounds but when I'm proper jealous I just get so mad and that's why I'll say these things.

    Anyway the other day my girlfriend broke down into tears saying things like she can't take it anymore. She feels controlled, she feels like she can't do anything, she's done so much to try make me trust her and that I've changed. After that I broke down to her agreeing with everything she said. I hate being like that and I'm not that kind of person at all. I hate being jealous and I hate feeling like I'm controlling her. We had a good chat and decided that I had one last chance to show that I can change and that this can work.

    Anyways recently my girlfriend is being really distant with me. She will hardly talk to me, hardly make an effort with conversation, than she will say things like I miss the old you and that she's just going to expect the worse from me than she won't be dissapointed when it all ends. I understand her being that way but it's like she's given up. Like I'm doing my absolute best to resolve this and make this work, I really don't want to be that kind of boyfriend anymore but it's like she's pushing me away. What can I do?
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    I'm sure I read this only yesterday....
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    You need to show her you've changed and that you aren't going to act like you have been. If she continues to remain distant then that's no longer your fault and it may be that she's unhappy with the relationship.
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    Communication. You failed at it. So did she. The hard part is that you're likely to never learn from it and face this exact situation once more.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for nearly 4 months now. We've had a few problems that's kinda been happening for the last month or so. The problem is I'm a very jealous person and quite insecure (cheated on in past). If my girlfriend starts mentioning another boy or talking about another boy or even just talking to someone I will get really mad and jealous. I'll start accusing her of stupid things and say stupid stuff like "go get with him then" or "you must have feelings for him". Pathetic right? I realise how stupid it sounds but when I'm proper jealous I just get so mad and that's why I'll say these things.

    Anyway the other day my girlfriend broke down into tears saying things like she can't take it anymore. She feels controlled, she feels like she can't do anything, she's done so much to try make me trust her and that I've changed. After that I broke down to her agreeing with everything she said. I hate being like that and I'm not that kind of person at all. I hate being jealous and I hate feeling like I'm controlling her. We had a good chat and decided that I had one last chance to show that I can change and that this can work.

    Anyways recently my girlfriend is being really distant with me. She will hardly talk to me, hardly make an effort with conversation, than she will say things like I miss the old you and that she's just going to expect the worse from me than she won't be dissapointed when it all ends. I understand her being that way but it's like she's given up. Like I'm doing my absolute best to resolve this and make this work, I really don't want to be that kind of boyfriend anymore but it's like she's pushing me away. What can I do?
    Of course shes gone distant, she cant mention someone without you getting insecure and jealous and accusing. She feels shes walking on egg shells and totally stifled. And only four months in? And your already on your last chance.

    It is debatble how good a little jealousy is but too much is universially agreed to be bad. and you are very bad.

    You need to buck the hell up dude, or you WILL lose her (and it will be your fault). You need to resolve your issues, look online, talk to a counciller, do something to deal with the root problems of this insecurity (you being cheated on) Realise that she is not your ex is a first step (which you havent otherwise you wouldnt be this bad) and work on your own self esteem.
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    Depends how she talks about other guys tbh, lots of people are assuming OP is just insecure but she might be really manipulative and teasing, of course women are never the issue.
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    show her that you can trust her; make yourself in a situation where you and her are with other guys and act normal
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    One thing I've always said is don't allow past dalliances bare consequence on current love.
    Build the courage to admit to yourself that, although petty, your jealousy is simply wanting to have your girlfriend as yours and yours alone. I admit I have jealous tendencies that seem self-destructive in my relationship but it's important to know that if your partner is able to accept this and understand you're just standing your ground then you will end up long-term.
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    (Original post by mkap)
    show her that you can trust her; make yourself in a situation where you and her are with other guys and act normal
    This.

    It's not enough to say you changed and say you're sorry. You need to prove it , and not let this ever be an issue again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for nearly 4 months now. We've had a few problems that's kinda been happening for the last month or so. The problem is I'm a very jealous person and quite insecure (cheated on in past). If my girlfriend starts mentioning another boy or talking about another boy or even just talking to someone I will get really mad and jealous. I'll start accusing her of stupid things and say stupid stuff like "go get with him then" or "you must have feelings for him". Pathetic right? I realise how stupid it sounds but when I'm proper jealous I just get so mad and that's why I'll say these things.

    Anyway the other day my girlfriend broke down into tears saying things like she can't take it anymore. She feels controlled, she feels like she can't do anything, she's done so much to try make me trust her and that I've changed. After that I broke down to her agreeing with everything she said. I hate being like that and I'm not that kind of person at all. I hate being jealous and I hate feeling like I'm controlling her. We had a good chat and decided that I had one last chance to show that I can change and that this can work.

    Anyways recently my girlfriend is being really distant with me. She will hardly talk to me, hardly make an effort with conversation, than she will say things like I miss the old you and that she's just going to expect the worse from me than she won't be dissapointed when it all ends. I understand her being that way but it's like she's given up. Like I'm doing my absolute best to resolve this and make this work, I really don't want to be that kind of boyfriend anymore but it's like she's pushing me away. What can I do?
    Don't change for anyone or you will become a performing seal
 
 
 
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