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Guys, do you feel insecure when your girlfriend is making more money than you? Watch

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    (Original post by joey11223)
    ah **** skipped the week bit, damn £60 a week...where is he working in London where he needs to travel so far for such a wage? I guess he drives about 30 or so miles each way?
    Yup...ever since he got his fancy 2L BMW and drives about an hour each way to and from work...it drinks so much petrol. Not worth it imo.
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    (Original post by Daniellaaa)
    It's such an aggressive sounding language. Spanish is so smoooooth
    Aha, chula But that's what makes German so kewl
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    Only know chula from a series I'm watching :laugh: No idea what it even means :indiff:
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    (Original post by Pariah)
    so and your partner you have a similar attitude to money - you are happy to sit down and work things through.

    so you agree with me. what a relief that that's settled
    It doesn't matter what the issue is - if you have dissimilar points of view you can sit down and talk about it. That's how a relationship works!
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    (Original post by ellej93)
    Just curious on other guys view on this issue. I have been in a six years relationship and we ended badly.
    bring it on I say!
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    well as i will by the time i have a girlfriend i will own my first store and be turning over at least £100,000 a year i suspect this won't be an issue for me
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    It's difficult enough to find a suitable long-term partner, without adding to it by factoring in the fact that you must be on the same pay level. Kind of reduces the chances even more.
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    Yup...ever since he got his fancy 2L BMW and drives about an hour each way to and from work...it drinks so much petrol. Not worth it imo.
    What does his job involve? Don't see why he can't get a cheap car instead again would not loan a fancy car on that wage.
    Reading everything you wrote i think some of the comments are unfair and people have not read the whole thread.
    I think you need to be completely honest with him and say how unhappy you are tell him everything you wrote here and if he still disagrees with you paying for him or using your money to spend on the deposit on the flat then you should end things with him.
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    Haha, be serious. Not in the least bit. I'm secure in myself, I know my value, and I have a massive..

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    ..'ego' :smug:
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    (Original post by chikane)
    What does his job involve? Don't see why he can't get a cheap car instead again would not loan a fancy car on that wage.
    Reading everything you wrote i think some of the comments are unfair and people have not read the whole thread.
    I think you need to be completely honest with him and say how unhappy you are tell him everything you wrote here and if he still disagrees with you paying for him or using your money to spend on the deposit on the flat then you should end things with him.
    Yeah i agree with this.

    I don't particularly like he user stargirl because of some of the things she has said in the past like it's okay to cheat.

    but I do think people are jumping on her too quick on this particular issue. As nice as her boyfriend might be from what we have been told about his income and expenses he is a complete moron and a stubborn idiot when it comes to money. I personally could not see myself being with someone like that long term, I'm not having someone drag me down with their idiocy or tying myself financially to someone like that...which is what a relationship often ends up doing especially if you go down the route of marriage.
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    (Original post by ellej93)
    Just curious on other guys view on this issue. I have been in a six years relationship and we ended badly.
    Result of feminism of the 70s, what is a guy supposed to do if he does not/can not fulfill the role of being a guy, i.e the main breadwinner. What is his role then? unknown/uncertain? and how is the girl supposed to look at him? what is he supposed to do for her/she expect of him?

    Theoretically its not wrong to earn more money, have career, do as well or better than a guy at whatever job it is, but when applied in the context of relationships, subconsciously at least it jars with our innate understanding of what a guy and a girl is so that we can no longer feel ourselves as suitable or see the other as suitable. Hence, why there are so many single men and women that can't get together in today's society, the need to do so and mechanisms to galvanise this have broken down.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    What does his job involve? Don't see why he can't get a cheap car instead again would not loan a fancy car on that wage.
    Reading everything you wrote i think some of the comments are unfair and people have not read the whole thread.
    I think you need to be completely honest with him and say how unhappy you are tell him everything you wrote here and if he still disagrees with you paying for him or using your money to spend on the deposit on the flat then you should end things with him.
    He works for a take away company doing admin, phone orders etc.

    He did have a very nice , reliable golf. Took me out on our first date in it. By the second date, he suddenly had a BMW. It was only after I dated him for 3 months that he admitted he took out a loan to pay for the BMW. Now... when I ask him why he got a new car,he tells me honestly that he wanted a change and that his friends had nice cars and he wanted one too. (Apparently at work, he was the only one of his friends still driving a "I passed my test last week " car). I've noticed a lot of money he spends is to shield his insecurities. And he thinks if other people at work who are on the same wage as him can afford X,y,z then so can i. I did try to tell him that it doesn't work like that and it's not about how much you earn,it's about your expenses...but it's hard getting through to him.

    I think since being with me he is slowly and painfully learning what the value of money is. He knows his loan could have been a down payment for a flat....but in his defense how did he know on the second date that we would get this serious.

    I know people on this thread have been really horrible and don't take the time to understand the situation. Then go on ahead to comment on the next forum saying "all women are gold diggers" ... Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

    I hope it will work out between us. This evening I'm going to go through a list of his expenses and see where his money is draining, because I'm so confused. I just want him , and us to be happy..but I'm sick of bailing him out of his bad decisions and sacrificing what I want to do because he can't afford it.
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    He works for a take away company doing admin, phone orders etc.

    He did have a very nice , reliable golf. Took me out on our first date in it. By the second date, he suddenly had a BMW. It was only after I dated him for 3 months that he admitted he took out a loan to pay for the BMW. Now... when I ask him why he got a new car,he tells me honestly that he wanted a change and that his friends had nice cars and he wanted one too. (Apparently at work, he was the only one of his friends still driving a "I passed my test last week " car). I've noticed a lot of money he spends is to shield his insecurities. And he thinks if other people at work who are on the same wage as him can afford X,y,z then so can i. I did try to tell him that it doesn't work like that and it's not about how much you earn,it's about your expenses...but it's hard getting through to him.

    I think since being with me he is slowly and painfully learning what the value of money is. He knows his loan could have been a down payment for a flat....but in his defense how did he know on the second date that we would get this serious.

    I know people on this thread have been really horrible and don't take the time to understand the situation. Then go on ahead to comment on the next forum saying "all women are gold diggers" ... Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

    I hope it will work out between us. This evening I'm going to go through a list of his expenses and see where his money is draining, because I'm so confused. I just want him , and us to be happy..but I'm sick of bailing him out of his bad decisions and sacrificing what I want to do because he can't afford it.
    If people took the time to read the whole thread and aren't quick to judge they will see you are frustrated with not being able to pay for him if he dosent have the money as he thinks he should be paying for you. You are not saying he needs a better job or he needs to buy you nice things but you would like to pay for him so you can enjoy things together and him not worrying he can't afford it so don't see how you are a gold digger if you are the one paying everything.
    I don't know you or your other posts but I hope things work out as you do like/love him. Let us know what you find out from your evening.
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    He works for a take away company doing admin, phone orders etc.

    He did have a very nice , reliable golf. Took me out on our first date in it. By the second date, he suddenly had a BMW. It was only after I dated him for 3 months that he admitted he took out a loan to pay for the BMW. Now... when I ask him why he got a new car,he tells me honestly that he wanted a change and that his friends had nice cars and he wanted one too. (Apparently at work, he was the only one of his friends still driving a "I passed my test last week " car). I've noticed a lot of money he spends is to shield his insecurities. And he thinks if other people at work who are on the same wage as him can afford X,y,z then so can i. I did try to tell him that it doesn't work like that and it's not about how much you earn,it's about your expenses...but it's hard getting through to him.

    I think since being with me he is slowly and painfully learning what the value of money is. He knows his loan could have been a down payment for a flat....but in his defense how did he know on the second date that we would get this serious.

    I know people on this thread have been really horrible and don't take the time to understand the situation. Then go on ahead to comment on the next forum saying "all women are gold diggers" ... Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

    I hope it will work out between us. This evening I'm going to go through a list of his expenses and see where his money is draining, because I'm so confused. I just want him , and us to be happy..but I'm sick of bailing him out of his bad decisions and sacrificing what I want to do because he can't afford it.
    These days a guy has to really uber it up in terms of looking like the provider, goes into what I was saying above. This means looking like you are wealthy even if you are not even if you are up to your neck in it. Most women are attracted to men that 'look' like they have money (not all but most). Being the guy that has more money buy drives around in a sh*t mobile does not register with most women, only what they see. Possibly you are not like this, but men cannot aim themselves at the too few women that think like this. If a guy met a woman that he was into but she went for a guy with a beamer as she thought he was wealthy it would not be a good news day for him. You after all did say you only got serious on the second date when he had the beamer
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    (Original post by Satoshii)
    wow you're actually such a *****, do you think he wants to have a *****y job? no. You're blaming him for something he doesn't really have much control over, and the fact that he still spends whatever he has on you despite him not being well off just makes you look like more of a ***** - if all males acted the same way you are then i assure you 85% would be single tomorrow, sorry 95%
    If you read the whole thread she is willing to pay for him but her bf refuses saying he can't afford it cause his pride won't let her pay for him. She isn't asking him to spend on her she has plenty of money to buy her own stuff.
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    These days a guy has to really uber it up in terms of looking like the provider, goes into what I was saying above. This means looking like you are wealthy even if you are not even if you are up to your neck in it. Most women are attracted to men that 'look' like they have money (not all but most). Being the guy that has more money buy drives around in a sh*t mobile does not register with most women, only what they see. Possibly you are not like this, but men cannot aim themselves at the too few women that think like this. If a guy met a woman that he was into but she went for a guy with a beamer as she thought he was wealthy it would not be a good news day for him. You after all did say you only got serious on the second date when he had the beamer
    I know what you mean. It's a shame because I'd have more respect for someone who did live within their means and was realistic with what they have. It's women who look up to the men with more money and even men have more respect for other men who have more money. But I guess it's a perspective...

    Haha... I got serious on the second date because it's un-ladylike to get serious on the first.

    Thanks for your advice and thanks for standing up for me in the last post. I feel like there's no point posting on TSR anymore...users here just read what they want to read,not what you actually wrote.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    If a woman judges a man by the money he makes she is shallow, I value art, love and life, not property.
    No she's not. How old are you? Once your done schooling MONEY IS IMPORANT, bills to pay. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live comfortably hell, maybe even more then comfortable, and anyone working at mc Donald's isn't contributing to the relationship, LOVE isn't enough in the real world. If I lose my job one day I want my man to be able to support us and vice versa and it's not gonna happen if we're working at mc Donald's.
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    (Original post by ellej93)
    Just curious on other guys view on this issue. I have been in a six years relationship and we ended badly.
    Women are very annoying when it comes to money.

    if you make considerably more than your woman, she will always be complaining that you dont spend enough on her and treat her to nice things.

    if you make considerably less than your woman, she will always be complaining that you're not ambitious enough, you should be more career-oriented; she's sick of having to be the one that pays all the time, and she wants a man to take care of her.

    whatever the scenario, as a man, you're screwed, so I say #MGTOW
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    No she's not. How old are you? Once your done schooling MONEY IS IMPORANT, bills to pay. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live comfortably hell, maybe even more then comfortable, and anyone working at mc Donald's isn't contributing to the relationship, LOVE isn't enough in the real world. If I lose my job one day I want my man to be able to support us and vice versa and it's not gonna happen if we're working at mc Donald's.
    Supports what I say above. Unfortunately many women tend to get carried away with the need for money and over-estimate the requirement for money against a loving and natural relationship with someone where there is chemistry. Hence, why so many woman make the wrong choice and get with a guy with money they like but not love and leave the guy they really love by the wayside. Causes so much unhappiness in society and creates a world so f*cked up. Think many woman follow a natural instinct here to be attracted to a guy with wealth that it blinds them somewhat, hence why many relationships fall apart during recessions. Money is important to a point but being in the right relationship is more valuable I think.
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    Supports what I say above. Unfortunately many women tend to get carried away with the need for money and over-estimate the requirement for money against a loving and natural relationship with someone where there is chemistry. Hence, why so many woman make the wrong choice and get with a guy with money they like but not love and leave the guy they really love by the wayside. Causes so much unhappiness in society and creates a world so f*cked up. Think many woman follow a natural instinct here to be attracted to a guy with wealth that it blinds them somewhat, hence why many relationships fall apart during recessions. Money is important to a point but being in the right relationship is more valuable I think.
    Love and chemistry matters I'm not saying JUST GET A PARTNER WITH MONEY find someone who's financially stable so that you guys can fall back on each other. Majority of devorces occur because of financial problems, it causes fights and stress on the marriage... And the honeymoon feeling/ stage doesn't last forever. Its called life and it's not a fairytale and it sure as hell won't be a fairytale x100 if you're broke.
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    Hmm. It'd probably make me feel a little insecure. It probably shouldn't but it would.
 
 
 
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