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Time to Talk Day 2016 (Thurs 4th Feb): let's talk about mental wellbeing! Watch

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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    It's a very good point actually that people know the more obvious symptoms of mental illness, but don't necessarily know about the things you mention (poor concentration, memory and motivation).
    Those are symptoms of mental illness? :/ I've been writing them off as a quirk of personality, as opposed to consequences of my mental health issues, for as long as I can remember. :beard:
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    Maybe this is a good point at which to talk about STIGMA, STEREOTYPES AND PIGEON-HOLING :yep:

    What stereotypes have people found, when they have experienced symptoms of poor mental health and others have noticed, or you have told others?

    Do stereotypes frustrate you?

    What can we do to challenge stigma and stereotyping?

    Do you ever feel pigeon-holed or boxed in by your diagnosis/diagnoses?


    I for one am quite conscious that I'm a bit unusual, in terms of people with psychosis. Even those working in mental health seem quite surprised when I talk about experiencing psychosis, or list off some of my symptoms. There seems to be a psychotic person box that people want to fit me into (especially some psychiatrists, which is highly infuriating) and because I don't fit into it, people have (in the past) decided that there's nothing wrong with me The general public, on the other hand, have a tendency to freak out when they hear the word 'psychosis' or the words 'hearing voices'. They assume that you're gonna murder them or something, or that you should be locked up

    All this said, I am very guilty of stereotyping mentally ill people, even though I am one myself! But I am trying to challenge my assumptions by learning more, reading up on conditions that people I know have, and trying to listen more as to how to support them.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Those are symptoms of mental illness? :/ I've been writing them off as a quirk of personality, as opposed to consequences of my mental health issues, for as long as I can remember. :beard:
    They're not automatically/solely symptoms of mental illness but they can be indicative/a result of it, depending on how severe they are. Like ever since my Oxford breakdown, my ability to recall information and memorise stuff has been non-existant and I can't concentrate on reading :no:
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    When you say stereotypes, what do you mean? What the general view is on people with mental health issues or stereotypes about how they act/change ?
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    They're not automatically/solely symptoms of mental illness but they can be indicative/a result of it, depending on how severe they are. Like ever since my Oxford breakdown, my ability to recall information and memorise stuff has been non-existant and I can't concentrate on reading :no:
    Hmm, I see. Anyway, I hope you've had a nice day. Good work on this thread -- wish I'd found it a few hours earlier. :five:
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    Still not entirely sure what to say but oh well I think for me the biggest thing with mental health is bullying- it can have a huge impact on people without either them or anyone else necessarily noticing at the time. If someone puts you down enough times you'll eventually start to believe it, once the self-esteem's gone it's very hard to revive (if that's the right word?) it. For me bullying meant that I pretty much stopped speaking as then people couldn't laugh at me for how it came out wrong. I don't know how schools can stop it but acknowledging it exists is a start! The same with mental illness really- mine just piled on pressure and didn't care, by the time I left I knew people diagnosed with anorexia, bulimia, BPD, OCD, bipolar and a lot of anxiety and depression. In terms of stigma outside of this I'd say it is improving but there's a long long way to go, particularly with schizophrenia and psychosis-related illnesses. If people don't know someone with the illness they assume the worst.

    I'd definitely agree with TLG that it's never too early to get help and do it as soon as there might be a problem, trust me when I say if I don't it only gets harder! Things like mindfulness can actually make a big difference however good/bad you think your mental health is in terms of reducing stress and things too.

    That's possibly one of the most jumbled up posts I've ever written but pretty much reflects my brain right now if anyone wants to ask me anything then that's might get a better response but who knows. But yeah, great thread TLG, sorry!
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    When you say stereotypes, what do you mean? What the general view is on people with mental health issues or stereotypes about how they act/change ?
    Sorry if it wasn't clear: by stereotypes, I meant the general public view on mental illness/people with mental illnesses! :yes:

    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Hmm, I see. Anyway, I hope you've had a nice day. Good work on this thread -- wish I'd found it a few hours earlier. :five:
    It's been a good day, I think: been spamming my Facebook wall with stuff too :ahee:

    Thanks very much!
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Still not entirely sure what to say but oh well I think for me the biggest thing with mental health is bullying- it can have a huge impact on people without either them or anyone else necessarily noticing at the time. If someone puts you down enough times you'll eventually start to believe it, once the self-esteem's gone it's very hard to revive (if that's the right word?) it. For me bullying meant that I pretty much stopped speaking as then people couldn't laugh at me for how it came out wrong. I don't know how schools can stop it but acknowledging it exists is a start! The same with mental illness really- mine just piled on pressure and didn't care, by the time I left I knew people diagnosed with anorexia, bulimia, BPD, OCD, bipolar and a lot of anxiety and depression. In terms of stigma outside of this I'd say it is improving but there's a long long way to go, particularly with schizophrenia and psychosis-related illnesses. If people don't know someone with the illness they assume the worst.

    I'd definitely agree with TLG that it's never too early to get help and do it as soon as there might be a problem, trust me when I say if I don't it only gets harder! Things like mindfulness can actually make a big difference however good/bad you think your mental health is in terms of reducing stress and things too.

    That's possibly one of the most jumbled up posts I've ever written but pretty much reflects my brain right now if anyone wants to ask me anything then that's might get a better response but who knows. But yeah, great thread TLG, sorry!
    Argh, it won't let me rep you :fuhrer:

    Thanks for posting this hun, I think telling even parts of our own personal stories can help getting the message across. I'm so sorry you were so badly bullied, that's awful I guess bullies don't think about or realise how their actions can impact a person's whole lifetime! I was kinda similar but in my home life: I used to be very silent (still am, tbh) because if I don't say anything, people can't shout at me
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    I was once bullied by Pakistani because of my race, I ran to the toilet and cried so hard during the whole lunch time. A lot of people knew that I was bullied and was talking behind me, no one stands out. I was horribly ashamed and found it hard to communicate with people afterwards, didn't even dare to have eye contact with others.
    But then, I acknowledged this fact that people will just keep insult you, being racist, bullied you by words and be like a gangster. These problems will always remain......This is how I think in another way that 'I am a human too, I was gave birth by human like OTHERS, I have the right to live in this world with dignity which everyone born with, no one can ever affect me because of their words or action, because I have the right to DON'T GIVE THEM DAMN'. FCK THEM ALL WHO LAUGHED AT ME AND THEY WHO BULLIED ME WILL JUST ACT AS CLOWN TO ME, BECAUSE I JUST DON'T CARE.
    This is how optimistic I am now, and have a happy life.
    REMEMBER, no one will affect you if you can think positive and you deserve a better life then those bast*rds 😆

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    Cheers fam.

    Public view changing towards being sympathetic tbh, even if NHS Services don't show it. There are so many support groups popping up everywhere, even obscure areas, so that's a positive.

    However, here 2 stereotypes I've seen first hand that stuck out to me:

    The "they're an unstable mad(wo)man who could snap at any time" - This stereotype is quite damaging as it only serves to make the person with issues feel abnormal on top of their existing issues. It only amplifies things. Worst when people tip-toe around people with issues, I get being tactful and all that but clunkily avoiding avenues of conversation as if you're violently inane is not healthy. I find when people think of "mental health issues", the violent, unpredictable, lock-him-up-in-an-asylum stereotype is most common, ignoring the entire spectrum of issues. This didn't happen to me luckily, but it does happen.

    "But...you're only 18, what have you got to be sad about? You have your whole life ahead of you!" - Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, this one ffs. I remember my GP saying this to me word for word and I switched off from there, the dude was obviously inexperienced and had no idea. While there are mental health problems that have a stronger link with certain age groups, it was a disheartening for him to say this. This also ties into the "they're just attention seeking" stereotype that rings true for 18-25 year olds with issues. I mean, the GP was wrong but...right? What can you say to that really, it's the equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and screaming "LALALALALALALAL NOT LISTENING".
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    (Original post by Celinajy)
    I was once bullied by Pakistani because of my race, I ran to the toilet and cried so hard during the whole lunch time. A lot of people knew that I was bullied and was talking behind me, no one stands out. I was horribly ashamed and found it hard to communicate with people afterwards, didn't even dare to have eye contact with others.
    But then, I acknowledged this fact that people will just keep insult you, being racist, bullied you by words and be like a gangster. These problems will always remain......This is how I think in another way that 'I am a human too, I was gave birth by human like OTHERS, I have the right to live in this world with dignity which everyone born with, no one can ever affect me because of their words or action, because I have the right to DON'T GIVE THEM DAMN'. FCK THEM ALL WHO LAUGHED AT ME AND THEY WHO BULLIED ME WILL JUST ACT AS CLOWN TO ME, BECAUSE I JUST DON'T CARE.
    This is how optimistic I am now, and have a happy life.
    REMEMBER, no one will affect you if you can think positive and you deserve a better life then those bast*rds 😆

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    Thanks for posting! Sorry to hear of what you went through but glad you are happier now
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Cheers fam.

    Public view changing towards being sympathetic tbh, even if NHS Services don't show it. There are so many support groups popping up everywhere, even obscure areas, so that's a positive.

    However, here 2 stereotypes I've seen first hand that stuck out to me:

    The "they're an unstable mad(wo)man who could snap at any time" - This stereotype is quite damaging as it only serves to make the person with issues feel abnormal on top of their existing issues. It only amplifies things. Worst when people tip-toe around people with issues, I get being tactful and all that but clunkily avoiding avenues of conversation as if you're violently inane is not healthy. I find when people think of "mental health issues", the violent, unpredictable, lock-him-up-in-an-asylum stereotype is most common, ignoring the entire spectrum of issues. This didn't happen to me luckily, but it does happen.

    "But...you're only 18, what have you got to be sad about? You have your whole life ahead of you!" - Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh, this one ffs. I remember my GP saying this to me word for word and I switched off from there, the dude was obviously inexperienced and had no idea. While there are mental health problems that have a stronger link with certain age groups, it was a disheartening for him to say this. This also ties into the "they're just attention seeking" stereotype that rings true for 18-25 year olds with issues. I mean, the GP was wrong but...right? What can you say to that really, it's the equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and screaming "LALALALALALALAL NOT LISTENING".
    Thanks for contributing, it's good to hear other people's thoughts about stigma and stereotyping. Though serious WTAF about that GP!!!!!! :eek3: I hope you complained to the practice manager about that, that is SOOOOO insulting.

    I'm glad you brought up that example though because I think there is this dangerous tendency to dismiss legitimate mental health problems/issues/symptoms in young people - teenagers in particular - as "growing pains" or "hormones" or "stroppiness" :sadnod:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Thanks for contributing, it's good to hear other people's thoughts about stigma and stereotyping. Though serious WTAF about that GP!!!!!! :eek3: I hope you complained to the practice manager about that, that is SOOOOO insulting.

    I'm glad you brought up that example though because I think there is this dangerous tendency to dismiss legitimate mental health problems/issues/symptoms in young people - teenagers in particular - as "growing pains" or "hormones" or "stroppiness" :sadnod:
    Nahh, I thought nothing of it when I left. Not to be racist, but sorry, this is true; most Asian doctors have zero grasp of mental health issues since they're largely ignored in Asian communities. I can attest to this since I'm Pakistani lol. He's an otherwise good doctor and seemed concerned enough but yeah that was malpractice.

    Yes, I agree :yes: It is very easy to take an objective view of someone's life and come to a conclusion, from just reading your academic information I would think you're totally happy and fine since you've achieved a lot, but it doesn't tell the full story. Unfortunately this is what happens often imo.
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Nahh, I thought nothing of it when I left. Not to be racist, but sorry, this is true; most Asian doctors have zero grasp of mental health issues since they're largely ignored in Asian communities. I can attest to this since I'm Pakistani lol. He's an otherwise good doctor and seemed concerned enough but yeah that was malpractice.

    Yes, I agree :yes: It is very easy to take an objective view of someone's life and come to a conclusion, from just reading your academic information I would think you're totally happy and fine since you've achieved a lot, but it doesn't tell the full story. Unfortunately this is what happens often imo.
    Ah I hear you on Asian attitudes! :bhangra: I'm ethnically Sinhalese and the lack of knoweldge about mental health issues is pretty concerning, ngl. Like when I first got ill, my dad refused to believe it was anything medical, but that I had been "charmed". He only believed that I might be "stressed" when a priest with supposed miraculous powers told him so :erm:

    Yeah you're right, people don't always look hard enough to see what's going on with someone who's unhappy, or why they might be the way they are. Again, I guess it's about boxing people in, like what I was talking about earlier? Boxing in/pigeon-holing really pisses me off - we should be treating everyone as individuals and holistically! :fuhrer:
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    MENTAL HEALTH AND RELATIONSHIPS

    I think Sabertooth has already provided a really lovely account that acts as proof that even those with mental health problems can have and enjoy long-term, loving and fulfilling relationships I wonder whether anyone else hear has some positive, uplifting stories to share about a partner or even an ex-partner who may have really helped them?

    I don't have much relationship experience at all, so think this one is best left to others
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    MENTAL HEALTH AND RELATIONSHIPS

    I think Sabertooth has already provided a really lovely account that acts as proof that even those with mental health problems can have and enjoy long-term, loving and fulfilling relationships I wonder whether anyone else hear has some positive, uplifting stories to share about a partner or even an ex-partner who may have really helped them?

    I don't have much relationship experience at all, so think this one is best left to others
    Without Callan I wouldn't have gotten through my experience with OCD and panic disorder. In the 7 years we have been together, he's dealt with my OCD from day one and then about 4 years into the relationship I was housebound with agoraphobia and panics and he not only supported me and helped me with all the little baby steps I had to take but he also gave me that kick up the arse I needed sometimes too. He reminds me every day that there's always something good in every day, no matter what my OCD and thoughts of doom tell me and hes always willing to listen.

    I think he found it easier to deal with my OCD than my panic attacks tbh even though my OCD was more severe than my panic disorder and that was pretty severe. With the OCD, he could see it was a debilitating condition and that it almost totally takes me over whereas with a panic attack, because he never experienced one and because he knows they aren't harmful, just feel horrible, I think he found it hard at first to understand why they were affecting me so bad. He didn't understand that knowing panic attacks aren't dangerous at all goes for nothing when you first start to have them. Logic doesn't work when you're new to panics but he knows fine well logic doesn't work at all for OCD so he doesn't try and 'logic his way out of' any obsession I have. He just accepts it might sound crazy and that I know what I'm doing is irrational and that I have to wait for my own mind to kick in with the rationality, no one can 'talk it into me'.

    I always get anxious that my mental health has got in the way of our relationship and obviously at times it has such as when I couldn't go out but he says it's never affected us, if you know what I mean? It's never made his feelings change or made him want to leave and all that jazz. No matter how often he tells me that though, I still have the niggling worry deep down and the guilt that he is with someone with a debilitating condition like OCD because he never signed up for it but you take the good and the bad when you love someone he says. He always says that the worst part of it is that he can't help me fully. He can't yank the illness out of me and that frustrates him sometimes.

    He comes with me to my OCD therapy sessions. He waits in the waiting room just in case I need him or in case I feel like crap after my session and then he usually takes me a run around in the car after it, like down the beach or something.

    He's a very laid back kind of guy, nothing phases him. He's my polar opposite on that front because I am so highly strung and the slightest thing works me up. Whenever I tell him I couldn't have got through it all without him, he always tells me that I could have easily, I just have to believe in myself and maybe that's true but I know I wouldn't want to ever go through anything without him. He's my partner and my best friend.
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Without Callan I wouldn't have gotten through my experience with OCD and especially, panic disorder. In the 7 years we have been together, he's dealt with my OCD from day one and then about 4 years into the relationship I was housebound with agoraphobia and panics and he not only supported me and helped me with all the little baby steps I had to take but he also gave me that kick up the arse I needed sometimes too. He reminds me every day that there's always something good in every day, no matter what my OCD and thoughts of doom tell me and hes always willing to listen.

    I think he found it easier to deal with my OCD than my panic attacks tbh even though my OCD was more severe than my panic disorder and that was pretty severe. With the OCD, he could see it was a debilitating condition and that it almost totally takes me over whereas with a panic attack, because he never experienced one and because he knows they aren't harmful, just feel horrible, I think he found it hard at first to understand why they were affecting me so bad. He didn't understand that knowing panic attacks aren't dangerous at all goes for nothing when you first start to have them. Logic doesn't work when you're new to panics but he knows fine well logic doesn't work at all for OCD so he doesn't try and 'logic his way out of' any obsession I have. He just accepts it might sound crazy and that I know what I'm doing is irrational and that I have to wait for my own mind to kick in with the rationality, no one can 'talk it into me'.

    I always get anxious that my mental health has got in the way of our relationship and obviously at times it has such as when I couldn't go out but he says it's never affected us, if you know what I mean? It's never made his feelings change or made him want to leave and all that jazz. No matter how often he tells me that though, I still have the niggling worry deep down and the guilt that he is with someone with a debilitating condition like OCD because he never signed up for it but you take the good and the bad when you love someone he says. He always says that the worst part of it is that he can't help me fully. He can't yank the illness out of me and that frustrates him sometimes.

    He comes with me to my OCD therapy sessions. He waits in the waiting room just in case I need him or in case I feel like crap after my session and then he usually takes me a run around in the car after it, like down the beach or something.

    He's a very laid back kind of guy, nothing phases him. He's my polar opposite on that front because I am so highly strung and the slightest thing works me up. Whenever I tell him I couldn't have got through it all without him, he always tells me that I could have easily, I just have to believe in myself and maybe that's true but I know I wouldn't want to every go through anything without him. He's my partner and my best friend.
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    Can't rep you but THANK YOU for writing such a detailed post about your relationship! Callan sounds like an amazing guy, and I'm so glad you two are still together! :yep: :hugs:
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    And as for what stereotypes annoy me, the one that really gets to me is that all OCD means is, you wash your hands a lot and your a clean freak. I live in a pig sty pretty much. Everywhere is cluttered, bits of food over the place etc so to the average Joe I wouldn't have OCD in their eyes when I actually have a severe form of contamination fear related OCD except mine is with drugs and toxins instead of germs. I wish all it did was make me wash my hands a lot. I could live with just that one symptom but the paranoia, loss of appetite, constant obsessing over contaminants, lack of sleep, repeating checking, impending doom thoughts and 'magical' thoughts are overwhelming. It annoys me so much when people play down OCD or say we all have a bit of it to a certain extent. We all have particular preferences and quirks to a certain extent yes, but if you clue yourself up on OCD, you will see those quirks are nowhere near OCD obsessions and compulsions.

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    Awww thankies didn't mean to write a novel but you know what I am like, once I start talking, well typing, I can't stop lol
    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Can't rep you but THANK YOU for writing such a detailed post about your relationship! Callan sounds like an amazing guy, and I'm so glad you two are still together! :yep: :hugs:
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    And as for what stereotypes annoy me, the one that really gets to me is that all OCD means is, you wash your hands a lot and your a clean freak. I live in a pig sty pretty much. Everywhere is cluttered, bits of food over the place etc so to the average Joe I wouldn't have OCD in their eyes when I actually have a severe form of contamination fear related OCD except mine is with drugs and toxins instead of germs. I wish all it did was make me wash my hands a lot. I could live with just that one symptom but the paranoia, loss of appetite, constant obsessing over contaminants, lack of sleep, repeating checking, impending doom thoughts and 'magical' thoughts are overwhelming. It annoys me so much when people play down OCD or say we all have a bit of it to a certain extent. We all have particular preferences and quirks to a certain extent yes, but if you clue yourself up on OCD, you will see those quirks are nowhere near OCD obsessions and compulsions.

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    I have to say, OCD is something I am quite ignorant about, so it's always interesting to hear about different manifestations/variations within OCD :yes:
 
 
 
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