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Does love really happen in such a short time. Is it really the reality?

This is sort of in reply to the "In love after how long" thread, course its sort of dead and I wanted to pose a different question.

Now I'm not sure whether I'm just being cynical like, but does love really happen in that short of a time. Most of the time these sort of things sound like something that would come out of story books, or movies. It basically sounds too unrealistic. Does intense emotions really equate to love, cause to be honest. I don't believe those things last. Course if anyone would like to point me wrong. Do so.

Perhaps all this is just an arguement of what love really is, if so then bleh -.-

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Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

How long are we talking here?

Reply 2

Sanity Panda

The thread had poster ranging from 2 weeks to 2 months.

Reply 3

Lucia.

My parents fell in love quickly. They got engaged three months after they met and are still together nearly 21 years later.

Reply 4

Sanity Panda

Yeah I'll admit that its possible that it can happen, but what is the explanation for all those that break up or the ones that say that the spark has faded away?

Alright Lucia, would you describe your parents love for each other as those of students together or would it be something else?

"In love" and "love" basically.

Reply 5

HereFishyFishy

Well...I said I knew before we got together really, but I didn't mean in some gushy, mushy way. We were good friends for a couple of years prior to becoming a couple. Still together 2 years later and I think (hope!) it's getting serious.
I think to be "in love" with somebody you have to build it up. You can't just meet someone and be like "OMFG I luv him soooo much, lol" after a couple of days. Some of the people on here are clearly in their first relationship and that's brilliant, but the word 'love' is thrown around very easily. I went out with my first boyfriend for 3 years from the age of 16. At the time I was hoping we'd get married etc but looking back I'm not entirely sure I ever loved him (there isn't really any bad feeling between us). Sure as hell hope that isn't the case with my current.

Reply 6

Phantom Phoenix

The conclusion I came to along with pikachoo (no idea if that's spelt right!) when (s)he challenged me as to the authenticity of my being in love with my boyfriend almost immediately, was that it is possible to fall in love very quickly, but that the quality of love becomes more complex and deeper over time as you get to know the person better and spend more time with them. I maintain that I loved my boyfriend after a surprisingly short period, but that I now love him much more. I think that love isn't an absolute; there are degrees of it.

Reply 7

HereFishyFishy

Lucia.

My parents fell in love quickly. They got engaged three months after they met and are still together nearly 21 years later.

Aww. I like this story! :hugs:

(just contradict myself a tad here perhaps :wink:

)

Reply 8

ßlαcksωαn

I don't think we can put a time limit on it. Sure 2 weeks sounds a little rushed but it could take a month or a year it varies greatly.

Reply 9

Angelil

My boyfriend and I knew we loved one another within a week of being together, and we're still together two and a half years on. Is that proof enough?

Reply 10

Sanity Panda

To be honest I think that its merely infatuation, although I believe that infatuation can possibly lead to love, like your case Angelil and Lucia's parents.

Would you say that you experience the same thing as you did when you first met Angelil, I'm sure you'd experience it from time to time but I'm willing to say that its probably a different form of love.

When I think of adults together, I don't always see them gushing over each other and such... Indicators that people here sometimes use to say that they are in love.

It'd be wrong to say that they don't love each other wouldn't it?

Reply 11

Angelil

I think that all relationships evolve over time, so sometimes it's different and sometimes it's the same - but 'different' doesn't mean 'bad' or somehow 'lesser' love - it's just that, different, but it's just as nice.

All I know is that after a week he told me he loved me, and I said it back and meant it. We still love one another just as much - we talk every night (even if we've nothing better to say than what we had for tea), I'll text him to say goodnight if I'm not in to talk to him, and my day just feels so much better if we've been in contact in some way. Whenever we see one another it feels like we've never been apart and time just goes so much faster.

It might be different for us as it's a long-distance relationship, though!

Reply 12

Ross_j

Angelil

My boyfriend and I knew we loved one another within a week of being together, and we're still together two and a half years on. Is that proof enough?

no, i think people get a bit confused + naivety comes into the equation.

my parents were engaged after about a month which is imo ridiculous and thankfully theyre happy married after almost 25 years.

Reply 13

Sanity Panda

Yes I'd agreed with you that it doesn't make it any less worthy. Infatuation is not neccessary a bad thing, in fact it can be one of the best times actually.

I just have problems understanding people who say they are in love, and next thing I know... they're out to get revenges on their ex for breaking up.

Aint love meant to be sorta like accepting the other person for who they are, its long lasting isin't it?

Wah.. I feel cynical and optimistic like at the same time ~_~'

Nice story though Angelil.

Reply 14

louisedotcom

On one hand I find myself saying that its impossible to generalise, that every relationship and person is different and as such you cant put a time limit on it.

However, having said that i dont believe in love at first sight and if someone introduced me to their boyfriend/girlfriend of a month who they were supposidly madly in love with ill admit that id be sceptacle and probably dis-believe that it was really love.

One of my friends for example has been with her boyfriend since the end of december 06/ beginning of january 07 and they are now engaged.
I know its not a particually nice thing to say but I dont think its love atall- especially considering that she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years a matter of weeks beforehand.

I really dont know what I think.

Reply 15

BlibBlob

Laces

I think to be "in love" with somebody you have to build it up. You can't just meet someone and be like "OMFG I luv him soooo much, lol" after a couple of days. Some of the people on here are clearly in their first relationship and that's brilliant, but the word 'love' is thrown around very easily. I went out with my first boyfriend for 3 years from the age of 16. At the time I was hoping we'd get married etc but looking back I'm not entirely sure I ever loved him (there isn't really any bad feeling between us). Sure as hell hope that isn't the case with my current.

I agree with this person, that love has to be built up and can't just happen within days of meeting someone. What I have put in bold in the above post happened to me - I was with my bf from the age of 15 - 18 and at the time I thought I was in love with him, wanted to be with him for the rest of my life blah blah blah, but when I look back on it now, I now realise I wasn't in love with him, just cared for him a lot.

Reply 16

shona

I said I loved my boyfriend after only three weeks.

I don't want to go into too many details, as I don't want to betray our privacy, but you really need to know the background before assuming two people are merely infatuated and not really in love. It doesn't happen often, granted, that love can come along so quickly, but it's such a wonderful thing when it does, why question it? Just be grateful it's there.

What I can tell you is that I've been in a long term very serious relationship before, that lasted for over three years and would have ended in marriage had I not called it a day. I'm old enough to know what is I want out of life and love, and I'm not a naive school girl. And maybe I fell in love very quickly with my current boyfriend, but I'd known him for three years as a friend, so I had a lot to build on. It's not as if I'd only known him for three weeks. And we saw each other practically every single day during that time, so it's probably someone else's idea of three months compressed into a shorter period of time.

Reply 17

Angelil

Yes - should point out I did know my boyfriend as a friend before we got together!

Reply 18

Sanity Panda

You know... the fact that you had known each other for years basically meaning that you know what they are truly like already would already change the idea of what I would say about your relationship.

When I see people talk about falling in love after three weeks or so, I guess I didn't take into consideration that it is possible that these people already knew each other inside out.

When I see people talking about love after three weeks, I see it as literally three weeks. Meeting from scratch.

Can you really love someone while knowing so little about them, not to mention at the beginning stage of love you can sometimes be blinded by it. I wouldn't call several weeks long at all.

But if your talking about friends beforehand, and then love. Obviously thats a different case.

Reply 19

Angelil

We'd known each other about 2 months as friends before getting together.

I think I'd probably agree with you if someone met someone else (say in a nightclub) and then a week later was all "OMG I loves him LOLZ!!!!1!!!1" then it's probably just infatuation :p:

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