I feel like my girlfriends pushing me away?

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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
Okay I've been with my girlfriend for about 3/4 months now. We've had a few problems in the past two months or so, long story short its all down to be being insecure and just being a d**k. In my last relationship I used to accuse my girlfriend all the time of cheating on me or leaving me for someone else and I would always get jealous and try and control her actions and what she would do and all that.

It was only until she finally broke up with me that I realised what I was doing. I could have trust that girl with my life and I know that all along but I messed things up. Anyways I thought I would have learnt my lesson and this relationship started off brilliantly. Until about two months in were i started acting the exact same way I did in my last relationship.

So this has been happening for the last two months and we've barely gone a day without arguing. The other day she broke down and told me that if I didn't change and stop being the way I am than its over. Yet again I've realised what I was doing, how wrong it is and that I shouldn't be blaming my insecurities and my past problems (cheated on before) on my current girlfriend. I do trust her and so I'm learning to control my jealousy and I'm not being manipulative or controlling.

So it's been three days since she said that and I just feel like she's gave in already. I know I can't blame her and I understand if she didn't want to give it another go because I promised her so many times that I would change. I geniuely do mean it this time and I want this to work so much. However she's acting very distant and cold with me. She will hardly text me or make conversation. If she doesn't text me back In ages I'll look on Facebook and she will be active. I've been to see her and she just sits away from me on her phone and acts weird like she won't want to cuddle me or kiss me or anything. Then she said that I'm not making much of an effort. Thing is with her acting like this it's hard to make effort. I am trying my best and I know it will take time for her to believe I've changed and to prove myself but she's really pushing me away. Just think she doesn't want this anymore and that I'm trying for nothing. I dunno what to do?
Badges: 16
Report 4 years ago
Just say in speak what you wrote here im sure she will understand mate
Badges: 15
Report 4 years ago
It's only been three days since your latest decision to change, it hasn't been long enough for you to have actually changed or for her to have seen it. I've been you in this situation before, when I was with my ex and TRUST ME you will lose her if you do not 10000% take it seriously and change. You can say "yeah I know" all you like but do you? You keep saying it and nothing changes so chances are you aren't seriously seeing the potential risk of losing her here.

You need to take a step back cause it sounds way too intense. You're checking if she's online, been accusing of her cheating, trying to control her and arguing every day... It's too much. Chill out, cool off, you're young (from the sounds of it), relationships are meant to be fun and exciting, not like this. Give her some space but let her know you're there when she's ready for some affection and company. Don't demand or expect anything from her and keep to your word about the controlling behaviour. Quit it or lose her.

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