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Self-harm Watch

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    My friend self harms and i am very worried about her. She has done it before but she doesnt seem to be stopping and feels very low all the time and doesn't want me to tell her parents. Iv'e tried telling her that she needs to tell hher parents or a teacher at school that she trusts or even go to her local GP but she wont accept that i'm trying to help her. What can i do to help her?
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    She's obviously doing it because shes stressed about something, ask her whats going on and help her. Good luck
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    (Original post by katesmith46)
    My friend self harms and i am very worried about her. She has done it before but she doesnt seem to be stopping and feels very low all the time and doesn't want me to tell her parents. Iv'e tried telling her that she needs to tell hher parents or a teacher at school that she trusts or even go to her local GP but she wont accept that i'm trying to help her. What can i do to help her?
    Hello!

    First, I think it's great that your trying to help your friend.
    As someone who self harms, and has done for 6 years (not wanting attention, 'showing off' or anything similar, just writing facts to show I've got some personal experience.) friends would probably mean just as much if not more than parents, teachers, GP etc.. I've never had a friend try and support me, so she's lucky to have you trying to help.

    Do you know when she started to do it? I know for the first few months (4-6ish) of doing it no-one knew, It would have been longer but a situation happened and I decided I would prefer to tell my school key worker than my dad so I ended up telling her. She said she'd guessed a 2-3 months ago so it made it quite easy to tell her.
    At that time I was rubbish at talking about it. I was scared, and afraid of being judged so it's not surprising she wants to keep It secret. It's even more scary to think of telling someone like a teacher or GP because you have no idea what they will do next.

    I'd say don't pressurise her to telling anyone else, it's good there is someone else (you) that knows who can help, and the more pressure on her to talk to someone else the more it could make her do it. I'm being pressured to go to all kinds of places from uni, the first one just sent me to somewhere else without explaining and I'm now on place 4 from that with no help. They want me to go to something else and I'm saying no. I'm getting really stressed which yes is making me cut more.

    I think self harm goes in a cycle, of starting to do it to get the benefits, then to start realising some of the problems, but then that you still need the benefits and become 'addicted' it is only when the person starts to think that the problems are worse than the benefits that they will think about telling someone or asking for help. You can't make them do it quickly or slowly, it is up to them to want to stop for any support to work. So depending on what stage she's at getting to some support might not make any difference unless she's ready.

    The best thing you can do is make sure she knows your ther for her. Not just to talk about self harm, or the reason she did it that needs resolving but for normal everyday stuff too - a TV program on last night, something in the news etc. That's what friends are for, you can't be expected to be some kind of therapist and having those kind of conversations too helps.

    I'm aware this is getting long, but I hope it's helpful to you. But I'm going to post this link because most of this is not coming from a 'supporting someone else' point of view, so this might be useful information for you to read http://www.mind.org.uk/information-s...5#.VrKmebsrHIU

    If you have any questions please ask! I'd rather answer a question than have you worrying about it all and not knowing what to do.
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    How old are you both?

    I would suggest maybe telling a teacher anyway. She might hate you for it, but if it means someone knows and can help and look out for her, it could be a good idea.
 
 
 
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