No matter whether everyone else agrees or not, i have seen you.
You are not real to them.
But to me, you are.
My eyes have witnessed it, and that is enough for me to say you were there.
Maybe not as a human, but you were there.
I can see you, and not them because only i miss you.
I promise, that i will try not to cry when no one believes me. It isn't gonna change the fact that i saw you, right?
Obviously everyone's gonna think i'm insane if i tell them i saw you.
I understand this.
I understand that they dont understand me.
Because we are different.
Me and them, is the wrong combination
Me and me is the right one. I would have said me and you and her, but we are not in the same world I'm alone.
So for that reason, i might aswell tell no one. Makes no difference, only leaves things as they were before.
Be with me please, if not in this world (which i know you dont have the option to) then in the 'unreal' world.
Looking forward to seing you again soon. Wish you stay longer and speak to me. Even a word is enough. I miss your voice so much, i could honestly recognise the sound your breath makes, coz of your asthma. A single whisper for now is fine. Just a tiny one please
I miss you so much, especially tonight...and you know why.
It's the 5th of April...
Hope you're well. Please take care even if nothing can happen to you where you are.
Please take care of me too, i can't seem to do that myself. You know i tried don't you? You know it's hard and not as simple as people make it out to be?
I'm sorry i've hidden this from you, but you can see everything now....i'd hide them again but impossible Maybe you could help me?
Pray for the rest of the family...Medina is very ill. I'm sure your prayer will never be unanswered.
I love you, love you too much to be said in words. But you can read my mind, my heart. Hope you know we all miss you.
This is not coming to an end... 3rd attempt to end this but things keep coming, i've too much to say.
Okay going now see you
Crap no, one second i forgot to say i'm gonna learn to drive sooon very soon. I hope you are proud of me.
Yeh i'm failing my alevels, you know i got so pissed at this ONE foutu question and it was only 2 marks smh syh
Spoiler:Showj'ai reçu mes rapport d'analyse the sang quelque chose ne va pas, donc je doit aller chez le docteur encore une fois. J'ai peur mais pourquoi? Pourquoi est-ce que j'ai peur? Je n'ai pas peur de mourir dont qu'est-ce qui ne vas pas? Je ne sais pas.
Maks tu es avec moi, et ça, c'est suffisant pour me soulager.
Bon....faut que j'y aille.
Prend soin Je t'aime papa. Tu me manque énormement
De la part de ta fille chéri
"Dear you...." MKII Watch
Last edited by KittenMediaya; 05-04-2017 at 23:35.
- 05-04-2017 23:33
- 06-04-2017 02:23
sleep well little buddy xxx
- 06-04-2017 02:45
I love you.
- 06-04-2017 19:49
You've ing annoyed me. I thought we were fine but you cos you've messed it up and I don't care anymore, keep ignoring me or using me for your problems cos I won't listen. Not that you care about me anyway.
- 06-04-2017 21:01
You messed with my mind. I do not know why I still think about you. Yes you hurt me and I don't know why I let myself keep feeling hurt. I need to work this out and I need to forget about you. I just wish it was so easily done. I had to cry myself to sleep last night but I hope they were the last tears because of you.
I have my eye on you. I know nothing will work out but you help as a distraction.
I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you for always being there for me. I love you <3
Lots of love, Me x
- 06-04-2017 22:27
So then tell me what I can do so it doesn't remain 'dangerously low'
Even I could've printed those sheets out.
Shows a lot. Says a lot.Last edited by starfab; 06-04-2017 at 22:44.
- 06-04-2017 23:58
You were online a few days ago, why? No posts either, I'd like to think you were looking back at our messages but who knows. Why did you message me last weekend? Were you just bored and reflective, or bored and curious on my progress? I wish I knew your feelings for me now. It's almost been three whole years since I popped that bubble. Three years and I still miss it just as much. I know I've looked for it in so many people ever since, do you know that too? I looked for a post from you on here but there was nothing that fit. I think I've posted two about you now but I've no clue what the month was. I hope one day I'll be able to share this with you. I hope one day we'll look back and laugh, even just as friends. Sorry I'm still fat and insecure, it hurts me more though - I hope you realise that.
Love from the other side of this city
P.S I was listening to Right When It Rains while writing this
P.P.S I love you
- 07-04-2017 14:54
Congrats so far
I've made progress! Who would have thought!
- 07-04-2017 14:59
I'll spend the summer on you.
- 07-04-2017 20:43
Sorry good one
Better for you
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 08-04-2017 04:47
it's only been 3 weeks but you've made me feel this way for months. Why was I suddenly not good enough this summer when I've been there for you when you had nothing? Now bigger things have entered your horizon, I feel like you've dismissed me so easily, and the hurt this has caused me consumes me every day. Is it another girl? Am I no longer exciting enough for you? Has my novelty wore off? I'm left confused by your decisions when I've done nothing but support you. At least if this was the answer, which I'm thinking it is, there would be some logical reasoning behind it.
Despite my resentment towards you, all I want you to do is turn around and tell me it was a mistake, that you've been thinking about me and that you realize how much you have missed me. Everything could be forgotten and we can go back to normal. I know I probably haven't crossed your mind half as much as you've crossed mine since our last encounter, and I wish that I had the same emotional detachment towards you as you seemingly have towards me.
I have listened to friends, family and the blogs which tell me I need to cut you out of my life in every aspect - number, facebook, the lot. I can't do this. You were such a big part of my life, how could I possibly do this and feel better? My already present insecurities were sheltered when I was with you and now they are worse and nearer the surface than ever before.
I don't want to see other guys, even after all the crap you put me through, I only want to be with you like we were before. We had such a laugh together and you know we did, we just got each other like not many other people do. We didn't need fancy dates or holidays to have a good time together. We were always flirting and talking even when we weren't together in person. I felt like you truly loved me for me at one point and not just the make-up and hair that I worked with for such a long time before I could let my guard down in front of you. All of this I feel like I will never be able to have with someone else, and it kills me knowing that you will move on to the next girl and have this same experience again so easily. I can't imagine being intimate with anyone else, and although I knew you had been with many before me, you even said the intimacy you felt with me was like nothing before.
I believed everything you told me, despite everyone warning me at the beginning of the relationship that you was no good, I took you as you showed yourself. I know you loved me at one point, I felt it. I wonder what I did differently now compared to several weeks/months ago that changed your mind so much. Maybe a better girl came along and is already filling my footsteps, lying next to you in bed at night - It's the only explanation that makes any sense to me as for why you did this. We could of had a great summer together and now mine has turned into one of the worst. My already sky high walls were crushed by you and I fear they will now remain too high for anyone else to ever get through them.
To finish, I have to tell you that I love you and that I'll never be able to say I won't be there for you if times get tough. I hope you realize how much I cared and was there for you later down the line when your life will get busy again and your friends disappear as I know it will in the next few months. I pray you are not yet with someone else, however whether you are or not I know that where I stand today is going to remain unchanged. Although some karma on your end would be nice to see, I wish you all the best with your life. I'll hold on to you for a while. Who knows when the days comes that you are not the first person I think about when I wake up and when I go to sleep at night... but I've been told that I am young and I have my whole life ahead of me - I think I'm going to try focus on this more. Maybe you will talk to me soon, I hope you do, but I cannot allow myself to talk to you first as I've made enough of a fool of myself to you 3 weeks ago.
I miss you, I love you, I (almost) forgive you... but for now I know I need to forget you.
***(Sorry TSR if this is a bit deep, I'm trying my best to get over it all I swear! This thread seemed a good idea to get my feelings out )***
- Welcome Squad
- 08-04-2017 08:21
I'm not gonna let you have a place in my life. I only have so much love.
- 09-04-2017 20:47
So I've not heard from you in over 3 weeks.
I want to see how long it takes for you to instigate conversation with me. Been doing this now since New Years Day. We've had little snip-its but nothing of any detail. I've seen you once this year when you can around to collect the PS2 off me. It felt cold because you've changed I reckon.
Since you decided to go get a girlfriend you've just fallen off the face of the earth. Something you used to take the mick of when we spoke about another mate doing. Hyprocrite.
You used to be one of my best mates, so I thought. I remember GCSEs we used to text each other every night, now like I say we go weeks without anything.
Thing is with me I'm too harsh on myself, I think I always have been, it's why I'm socially inept. I'm scared of messing stuff up so don't always appear to take everything head on, which I need to do more of - risk taking - as no doubt it would pay off in the long term.
But one thing I am good at is recognising there is an issue. I had my own problems and felt I needed to do something about it so went and sought help through counselling privately. I'm hardly rich but the £30 hourly sessions have helped a great deal and I've probably spent nearly a few hundreds I imagine getting there and all the sessions I've had with some being two hours. They've helped and I'm going back in 2 weeks for the first time in 3 months. You say you have anxiety etc which yes you may but you've done nothing about it. I've told you I go to counselling sessions and yet you haven't bothered doing anything about.
You're just so boring. Bloody boring. You never ask me to go anywhere. I always used to text you about going down the pub but you'd just turn it down saying you were ill so I've not bothered now for a long time. You preferred to stay at home with your parents on Christmas Eve 2015, even though you live with them and then spend Christmas Day with them, and then wouldn't go down the pub Boxing Day evening 2016 again for the same reasons. You never go out. You always rejected the chance to go places when we were younger, even going down the park a few yards from your house you'd have to go for home for tea and then wouldn't come back.
Why did I bother hanging about with you? Bloody pointless. I put a lot into our friendship but it was always fighting against your lack of will to do anything.
Anyway enjoy your 9 hour contract job in a shop when you got a BA degree because you lack everything needed to get the job you require.
- 10-04-2017 22:10
I was shocked in a good way to see you text me today after soo many months after we stopped chatting. I dont want to overthink this but i hope this can be the refresh of our friendship. I want the best for you and hope we can make it work despite everything in the past
- 11-04-2017 07:25
I'm giving you a chance
Please don't hurt me.
- 11-04-2017 11:29
I'm doing this for you, so that you can do well on your placement. It's all for you.
Posted from TSR Mobile
- 12-04-2017 21:49
Don't even know if you use this anymore, but, still, LEAVE ME THE ALONE.
- 12-04-2017 21:52
I still think about you most days. Its annoying. I think about you graduating this year and wonder where life will take you. I shouldnt care, after how much you hurt me... but I always will.
- 12-04-2017 22:10
Not long now.
I hope the feeling is mutual otherwise I will feel so crushed.
I've not really experienced anything like this so let us se what happens
Lots of love from
- 12-04-2017 23:36
Do you know what? My heart literally aches for you. It's times like these where I wish I could be a mind reader, though funnily enough I always wish I were a mind reader. I feel as though, based on your words, you will never like me, but even then I don't want to come clean. I really hate it when people say 'I don't want to ruin this friendship by ...' but I think I kind of understand it, just about kind of though... I'd like to think my case is different. But I still dislike myself for even thinking it.
The truth is, I feel like I need a friend like you in my life, but I wonder whether it's just due to what I feel for you and I fear of what it would be like if I felt nothing.
Just last week I feel like I was making progress on moving on from you but I feel like I'm back to square 1 and it's making me sad, especially because you feel sad and it's like 'urgh... let me help you!' but I never ever want to catch myself saying that because I don't ever want to take advantage of you in that way. I think you're smarter than that anyway.
It's both mystifying and intriguing how you feel about me in general. It feels as though I am completely off your radar and whatever was said to you, and after considerable time thinking about it and observing, I think I know what it was anyway, and I question the motives of the other person involved and the nature of the conversation being had but that's all toxic water under the bridge.... I wish I knew, because I really really like you and I've never felt like I've had half a chance with anyone until now. And it leaves me not knowing what to feel, which is an alien concept to me. Anger? Sadness? Loneliness? I do not know.