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"Dear you...." MKII

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Dear you

How did I get here? Stuck in a crappy job where there is no value, a uni drop out, not the best A level results, sat one module six times over three years, crazy. No direction in my life. I just walk around with the world going by, people getting off with their lives but I am stuck in limbo, knowing what I'd like but no idea on how to get it.

I walked past the school earlier where you and I used to go. Strange walking by and no longer being part of it. Felt pretty nostalgic remembering good times, but I can remember some of the negative things such as how I used to feel. I was always very nervous in school I guess and therefore that means I had a limited experience which has set me up for life in a half full kind of way. I know I am not the only person who has ever felt like that but it's a shame because I probably took too much time worrying about things than just getting on day to day and enjoying the time while I could. Is it really such a bad thing to wish I could go back to school? It doesn't feel as if I left because one day I was there and next I wasn't. Another thing you and your friends denied me.

I feel like my life peaked at the beginning of year 13, and went downhill drastically., but did it? Or was it just all a lie?

Certainly have I never experienced what I did when we spoke alone together since. No idea what happened with you after but what a shame. A simple decision could literally have changed the course of history. Our history. I wonder what you are up to now, what your future holds. Who are you with? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you a virgin? I feel annoyed when I think about you sometimes but I know there is simply nothing I can do now. That is it. It's over. There's been no contact in over three years and despite me getting feels to try and bridge the gap, I know deep down this is how it is suppose to be, yet it breaks my heart. I wonder if I will always feel this way. I can't remember a time of not feeling like this, even growing up through school this was a feeling that lingered but maybe in a different way. Being human isn't easy and I think I found that out at such an early age.

All of what happened, when you strip it back was because I fancied you but didn't know how to talk to you. That's it basically. I really hope you just didn't know how to deal with it or handle it whatever and not because you were being a bitch and thought I was putty in your hand. Answers I will never know to questions with nobody to ask.

There's been so many incidents of bad luck in my life things I had no control over, being in the wrong place at the wrong time etc etc, too many similarities, just too much. Really hope my luck changes soon. It has broken me inside I do feel cold,sad and alone often. I try to put a brave face on it but it is hard, all because of one day in August 2010 it feels.
Dear You,

:gah: What are you doing to me? Ever since we shared our first kiss on Monday, I can't stop thinking about you. This morning when you woke me up and kissed me, I nearly melted. I didn't know kissing was so addictive, especially when it comes to someone you care about. I'm so glad you didn't give up on me when I said I wasn't interested all those months ago. I don't know what I was thinking back then, but I'm really glad we're together now.

Love me :h:
Original post by Anonymous
Dear You,

:gah: What are you doing to me? Ever since we shared our first kiss on Monday, I can't stop thinking about you. This morning when you woke me up and kissed me, I nearly melted. I didn't know kissing was so addictive, especially when it comes to someone you care about. I'm so glad you didn't give up on me when I said I wasn't interested all those months ago. I don't know what I was thinking back then, but I'm really glad we're together now.

Love me :h:


Aw. This is so cute. Well done, you.
Original post by Anonymous
Dear you,

Months of therapy and counselling, because of what you did. You spineless, selfish, twisted, cold-hearted woman. You may be happy now, but I hope karma has it's way with you.

As for me...I'll continue fixing what you broke, and improving myself one bit at a time. One day I'll finally, truly be happy again.


That's terrible.

I hope you recover.:console:
Original post by SeanFM
Aw. This is so cute. Well done, you.


Thank you :h:
Dear you,

Thanks for everything. I'm sorry we've had to pass on our friendship and say goodbye. Thanks for being there and hearing me out on so many things. It's been a great two years getting to know you and sharing some new experiences. Good luck with everything and your support with all things to date.

See you around, and take care also.
Love me X


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Dear you

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I really like you but you frustrate me, why are you so unreliable? What does it mean? Does it mean you don't like me? Am I not good looking enough? Is it because I have mental health issues? Is it because we're too similar? I thought us having so much in common was a great thing, that we connected and got along really well. We used to chat every day and it was fantastic and lovely and damn, I miss it. Now it's been two weeks and I'm scared to message you because I feel like I'm pestering you after I told you it was fine that you've been busy. My head is so wrecked right now, I feel like crying but it's all so damn illogical because Jesus Christ I've only known you a bloody month! We were only talking for two weeks! So why does it feel like I've known you forever? Why does it feel like you're the most special person in this world and I'm probably not worthy enough to speak to you? It took me so much guts to bring up going for a drink together and it feels like you only said what you said to be polite. I hate myself for everything.

Me
Dear you,

i wish i knew what you are thinking

Love
mee
Original post by Anonymous
Dear you,

i wish i knew what you are thinking

Love
mee


Dear you,

Ask and you'll know :h:
Original post by Anonymous
Dear you,

Ask and you'll know :h:


Dear you,

you may be lying to me...
oo new thread :gah:


Dear You/anyone,


Feeling so rubbish at the moment :frown: Not sure what's best to do.
I think I really like you, but I'm not sure, and I don't think I'm being very fair to you at the moment - though at the same time I think you're being quite unfair to me, possibly. I'm not sure.
Not being the best boyfriend, but I think maybe at the moment I'm just needing to put me first? And I'm wondering if I'm really able to have someone else in my life at the moment, just because of that, and needing time alone so much, along with eventually needing to get back on track with work.
Really quite scared I might fail this year again, and haven't a clue what I'll do then.
Praying that the new meds will help, they seem good so far, even if it's been quite sedating. I don't know.

Feel so terrible and empty and sad and rubbish and pensive and bleh.

Not sure what to do :frown:

I care about you lots and lots and want you to be okay - but I don't know if that extends beyond friendship enough to make me a good enough boyfriend.

Want to disappear.
Want to find something that I enjoy lots, that I can actually either study, or work as/make a living. But then I don't even know when it was that I actually last tried working, properly. A whole year now? I don't know.
Got to revise for 6 exams, of which I've gone to less than 40% of the lectures, at most.
Blah.
Just want to disappear :frown: :cry:



- P
Dear you,
i'm so happy to see you :hugs: was a bit nervous but your just so easy to talk to and funny :h:
missed you :hugs:

me :smile: x
Original post by Anonymous
Dear you
I miss you so much but it seems like my absence has no effect on you. I've heard that you're acting the same way as when I was with you and that you've got a girlfriend now -I don't know how true this is.

I know I could always send a message first but what's the point when you don't care. All you need to do is send a message saying 'hello' and I'll know your at least thinking about me


So vain, have you thought about doing it yourself?
Dear Me

The easter break must be packed with lots of work, and you really need to sort things out in your life after exams and for the final year of uni. Gosh, it goes by so quickly, doesn't it? Have fun getting up in 7 hours.

Love, me
Original post by Mr Oompa Loompa
That's sad.:frown:

I hope you feel better:hugs:. I went through the same thing so I can understand.


Thanks :hugs:
Dear you,

Still confused.

xoxo,
Me
Original post by whorace
So vain, have you thought about doing it yourself?


Huh, how is this vain?
Reply 537
Avatar for RobML
RobML
6
Dear you,

I fink u freeky and I like you a lot
Dear you,

Grow up, you're 25 not a high-schooler...get yourself together...I've made this into my issue when I shouldn't have...it's all you, sort it out.

Me.
Original post by Biryani007
Dear you,

Grow up, you're 25 not a high-schooler...get yourself together...I've made this into my issue when I shouldn't have...it's all you, sort it out.

Me.


aww Biri is it him? has he still not backed off? :/ x

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