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"Dear you...." MKII Watch

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    • #31
    #31

    Dear You,

    I saw that picture of you and that girl as your fb profile picture. I couldn't see the comments because I don't have facebook but I regretted looking you up so much.

    I don't want to admit it but I still love you. I don't ****ing want to. But a year later, I still do. I'm hoping I'll find someone at university that'll make me forget about you completely.

    Me.
    • #51
    #51

    Dear You:

    Stop pretending you're happy, otherwise you wouldn't do what you do. Please seek help.
    • #80
    #80

    Dear You,

    It's been ages since you've replied and I don't know what to do. I hope you're okay. but I dunno, maybe the moment has passed for me and that is a good sign. Though if you started again I'd probably take about 100000 steps back. Meh.
    • #129
    #129

    Dear You,
    Stop being so subtle in hating me
    Its so evidently evident you no longer like me
    Just deal with the fact I have to be in your life for at least another year,
    Hate me.
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    Dear you,

    You meant the world to me. I did everything in my power to make you happy. But sometimes I made you sad. It sucks now that you cut contact with me, it didn't have to end up this way. Tears stream down my eyes.

    You meant the world to me. No matter about the arguments, you still managed to make me happy every time we talked. You were my diamond in the lump of rock. You were funny, you made me laugh.

    You meant the world to me. I was too harsh on you. I ****ed up, I did things I didn't want to. I regret things. I thought things were going to be better next year. But you thought differently.

    You really did mean the world to me, and you still do.

    Me.
    • #23
    #23

    Dear you

    I am such a weird mind frame now. My escape in life has always been in my interests, but twice now you have evaded into them. The first was a chance both being in the same place, where you do not go regularly (possible your only time there), but it still occurred on the rare occasion I was there after a series of events that meant I shouldn't have been there at that time. This second though is a bit more upsetting for me.

    Living where we do, my father's family are in exile, where my grandparents were brought up and were based for their early adult life is still home to the majority of the family. My grandfather started supporting the local football team in his youth and that is something my dad took up which he has passed onto me, despite us both never actually living in the place where this team is named after. As a backdrop to secondary school life, some of my strongest memories are my father driving back after an evening kick off back down the motorway in the darkness, lit by just the streetlights and local landmarks listening to radio phone-ins or my dad's music. When we do it now it's still a very pleasant feeling I get. This was my world, something nobody in school, especially you, could interfere with, I could escape to the other city which holds many happy memories and feelings for me because of football. The programmes used to have printed on the front 'Be proud to be a ____ ', something I have been, in year 11 my school coat was an item of this team's official merchandise. This brought individuality to me.

    So to see you are on tinder, something I didn't want to do and joined as a laugh to distract myself from you, was distressing enough because you are blocked by me on Facebook so I thought if you were on there I wouldn't be able to see you, let alone find out you are now in university in this city where I consider (or maybe considered) to be my escape from our hometown, and you. It felt like a kick in the balls. I've always felt like because we live in exile it's a shame because had we lived there I would have had friends growing up around me who followed the team too, rather than just knowing a few members of my family. Yet, now you no doubt are living there, experiencing life as an adopted ****, living somewhere I would love to. I expected you to be in university, but to find it's there... why there? Anywhere but there?

    You are on tinder. I've been on your tumblr recently and all the sexual posts on there is an eye opener. Seems you are gutted over somebody. What you are writing is basically how I feel towards you, except you say you are crying. For some reason I can't cry over you. I wish I could, it just won't happen. It would make me feel a lot better I am sure, a physical release for this tension that is torturing me, daily it seems.

    Are you on tinder it to find a boyfriend? There are picture re-posts about one day a boy loving you despite your negative traits. Like I've said before there's a ton of stuff including softcore photos of people engaging in sexual activity, men in underwear, women in sexual positions.... words like 'break my panties not my heart', a neon 'SEX' flashing gif. These aren't things I expected to see from you, but my head knows that the you now isn't the you of early 2013, despite my heart longing for that girl. Or are you on tinder because you want to find somebody to have sex with?... to spoon you in bed while you hold onto a teddy bed (another re-post of yours). It's funny because all of the things you say you want on tumblr, I actually want to be able to give you, I certainly did in the past. You could have had it all, we spoke that day and it seems you were willing, at the time, to give me a shot. You soon changed your mind though :sadnod, and for what? To take a chance on other boys ... those in our school? Was it I wasn't cool enough for you? Vain things. I did see parts to you that weren't pleasant, you definitely knew you were pretty and that boys fancied you. You would occasional do selfish things over your female friends to put you in with males, despite this though I tried to except your flaws... something you want a partner to do... You have said your are fed up of boys coming in and out of your life questioning why you can't be friends, I'm not sure of the situations but there are a lot of lads out there who just want to use girls, and I think you could be an easy target going off what I've seen of you growing up and your tendencies, plus all these posts on the internet. You are attractive and have good physical attributes which is why a lot of boys in our school fancied you at some point. I think you were and still are insecure and that's why you couldn't fully commit to getting to know me, I think our chat could have freaked you out how real I actually was. But you took a chance, painfully hurting me something that carries on to this day and it seems it hasn't paid off as now you are in uni and still haven't met the 'one' yet and are resorting to tinder, something I don't feel the need to do despite never meeting new girls. I think you are one of these who feels they need a boyfriend. So many of your friends have had one in the past and probably do now so you feel like you need one. I am not a man who needs a girlfriend, yes it would have benefits and I'd love to be having regular sex with somebody but it's not something I need to feel complete. I have a number of interests and things to keep me occupied, my life doesn't feel empty. The only thing I would like is you to be my girlfriend really, but there's pretty much no chance of that ever happening. I don't actively seek a girlfriend as I'm pretty much happy on my own as I am, but I hate having you on my mind.

    Nobody has got under my skin anywhere near as much as you.

    I really hope you can become happy sooner rather than later however that maybe, I still care about you even if I have no right and you probably don't want me to. I wish I could help you but I guess it is not my place anymore, and that hurts the most, because I only ever wanted to make you happy.

    From me.
    • #31
    #31

    Dear You,

    So you do have a girlfriend. I find that so ironic because not long ago, you were telling my friend how her relationship at university was pointless. I can't even tell you how hard I cried over you and that girl even though I haven't seen you for well over a year. I guess it was because I imagined that girl hugging you like I used to and sleeping on top of you in bed like I would. I want to be happy for you. I really do. But honestly, it kind of feels like I'm back to stage one, where I feel as if losing you is the most painful thing ever. It's funny how I've had my skin battered and cut by climbing injuries and yet they feel so painless in comparison to losing you. I guess I really did love you too much. A part of me doesn't want to get over you and just dwell in the happy memories we had together. Thankfully, my head knows better and it's telling me to work as hard as I can at school and get into university. Hopefully by then, I'll be over you. If not, I think I'll have to go canoeing or climb Ben Nevis. It'd be a pretty good distraction.

    I want to say so many more things to you but they aren't coming out at all. You end up crossing my mind every single day and I feel pathetic that you do. I feel like a lovesick idiot whose just wasting her thoughts on some guy who'll never come back. I can't wait for school to start again because at least then I can just be distracted by the essays and memorising.

    Me x

    Ps. If I don't get an offer from Exeter but get one from your uni (I hope I get offers from both) , I'm firming it. Not because of you though.
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    Dear you

    You are amazing

    Keep it going

    Love you x
    • #130
    #130

    Dear You,

    If you catch me holding that glance a little longer than I should, don't think too badly of me. I know it can't be and I'll never act on these feelings. Just know that you are the most perfect thing I've ever met, in body and in mind. Your advice on where to find small oat-based cakes is lousy though!

    Me xxx
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    After all this time I still miss you and can't get you out of my head! I deserve it but damn, this sucks.
    • #23
    #23

    Dear You

    It's not my fault and it's not your fault, but the feelings I had/have for you have had a detrimental effect on my life. The more my feelings grew for you, the quicker they accelerated because I was forced to spend more time around you in school because I was moved into more of your classes and later we both chose the same sixth form options. I had front row tickets in maths for four years to you. If only I had found the strength to ask to move table. Why does the past seem so recent? Everything is such a mess, it's like I am scared of a future without you.

    The feelings I had for you lead to me missing out on having an anxiety free sixth form life, prevented me from being able to look to the future, lead to me committing crime, being expelled from school, not being able to go on a school trip abroad, not being able to take my final year 13 exams, not going to sixth form leavers prom... enjoying the last of my time with my school mates in the place we met and missing out on the final few months around my associates. It hurts to walk passed the school, there's this lingering in me of if only, I imaging the ghosts of us walking about because I'd like to go back and rectify it. Certainly wasn't my route to success.

    Where am I going to go from here?

    Love, , me.

    I really want to be able to leave you in my past and move forward and live a fulfilling life, but it doesn't seem possible at the moment, I keep running into reminders :yucky: I feel like I am on sinking ship :titan: .
    • #4
    #4

    Dear you

    I can't believe I still feel this way about you after all this time. I'm not really sure why I can't forget you, perhaps it's because I don't really want to. I replay everything from the last 2 years in my head over and over and regret all my missed opportunities, but also regret the opportunities I did take because all they did for me was leave me confused and embarrassed. Part of me believes you genuinely do really like me because of certain things you've done, but another thinks it's not possible because of some of the other things you've done. The way we look at eachother is not normal for people who don't have feelings for eachother, but then you date other girls and act like you don't want to be near me. I'm scared to see you next week because I'm not sure I'm ready to accept it if you've moved on. It will break my heart if you get into a relationship because I have pinned all my hopes on you.

    Love me
    • #98
    #98

    Dear Me,Stop being such a caring person for others and start caring about your own crap. Helping these people, who frankly don't give a damn about you once they have taken your advice, isn't going to help you out of your own negative thoughts. In fact, realising that none of these people actually want to talk to you because of who you are and that you haven't been able to sustain a single friendship from any of these people should show you it's not worth the effort.Yes, you might not end up having any social life at all if you don't talk to anyone. But, it's better than knowing that the person you're talking to is going to end up leaving you eventually anyway.FromYour mind
    • #80
    #80

    Dear You,

    You've learnt a lesson here - don't build things up. You obsessively checked that page and hoped that you'd be one of the winners, just like last year. Never ever invest yourself in anything that much. At least this time you only read the winner's essay and discovered, upon skim-reading, that it made little to no reference of any personal struggles, something that you did not even think to mention the previous year and discovered that the winners had done so, I guess the judges changed their mind this year. What a shame. It may feel like you'll never be the best at anything but you have to try your hardest. And about that girl, ... think straight. She's giving you very little for whatever reason. Maybe it is time to call it a day.
    • #51
    #51

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Dear Me,Stop being such a caring person for others and start caring about your own crap. Helping these people, who frankly don't give a damn about you once they have taken your advice, isn't going to help you out of your own negative thoughts. In fact, realising that none of these people actually want to talk to you because of who you are and that you haven't been able to sustain a single friendship from any of these people should show you it's not worth the effort.Yes, you might not end up having any social life at all if you don't talk to anyone. But, it's better than knowing that the person you're talking to is going to end up leaving you eventually anyway.FromYour mind
    PM me. Whoever you are, I care.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    PM me. Whoever you are, I care.
    That was me.
    • #98
    #98

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    That was me.
    Are you saying you're the one who posted anonymously saying you cared?

    Or are you answering the question posted by the anonymous poster? :holmes:
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    For some reason this thread defaults me to anon. I posted saying I cared.
    • #12
    #12

    You've been a ***** to me. There was nothing I could do from the start, you are manipulative. I wanted you so much.
    • #31
    #31

    Dear whoever reads this,

    I'm 18 years old and I suffer from clinical depression. My mother is trying to make me even unhappier by controlling my life. My dad doesn't care and he's refusing to talk to me.

    Me.
 
 
 
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