Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Did i cockblock myself? CRINGE Watch

Announcements
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Went out on a second date with a girl i met online. It was a cinema date and it was quite empty. I held her hand once during the movie and she didn't mind. I didn't wanna make it too awkward so i pretended to stretch and stop holding hands. After this she crossed her arms so i couldn't really touch her again.

    After the movie finished we spoke a little and then left. I then stupidly asked her if she wanted to make out (so ****ing cringe) and she responded by saying is it a serious question and i just smiled pathetically. She then mentioned we're just friends and so i left.

    I've made it clear plenty of times that i wasn't interested in just friendship and she was all like i dunno what i want. I've honestly given up as its so hard to get laid these days.

    What i wanna know is did i ever stand a chance or did i just blow my own ****ing leg off by asking such a retarded question? I honestly wanna hang myself now.
    This was tragic to read...

    To be honest you were ****ed from the moment you let her hand go.

    Your biggest error though was asking if she wanted to make out. Next time just create an opening and go for it. You know? Be a bit ballsy, show some dominance, maybe buss a joke or two... cheeky complement, some sexual innuendo, get her laughing.... and if she likes you she'll let you approach without getting shot down.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Well she let you hold her hand, that's better than nothing
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Went out on a second date with a girl i met online. It was a cinema date and it was quite empty. I held her hand once during the movie and she didn't mind. I didn't wanna make it too awkward so i pretended to stretch and stop holding hands. After this she crossed her arms so i couldn't really touch her again.

    After the movie finished we spoke a little and then left. I then stupidly asked her if she wanted to make out (so ****ing cringe) and she responded by saying is it a serious question and i just smiled pathetically. She then mentioned we're just friends and so i left.

    I've made it clear plenty of times that i wasn't interested in just friendship and she was all like i dunno what i want. I've honestly given up as its so hard to get laid these days.

    What i wanna know is did i ever stand a chance or did i just blow my own ****ing leg off by asking such a retarded question? I honestly wanna hang myself now.
    'It was a cinema date and it was quite empty. I held her hand once during the movie and she didn't mind. I didn't wanna make it too awkward so i pretended to stretch and stop holding hands' - why would you stop holding her hand? I think that indicated to her you weren't interested, that was your opportunity to lean in more but instead you backed away by letting go of her hand - especially since the cinema was empty, she would have felt that you didn't even want to hold her hand infront of 2-3 other people in the cinema.

    But really, there wasn't a massive foundation for a relationship there, so it is no-ones fault other than 'she wasn't that interested' and you didn't show that you were interested enough. (all opinions are my own, feel free to ignore them)
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    If she thinks you are just friends why is she holding your hands in the cinema? Very odd.

    It is cringe but just learn from it and move on.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by NatalieEXE)
    'It was a cinema date and it was quite empty. I held her hand once during the movie and she didn't mind. I didn't wanna make it too awkward so i pretended to stretch and stop holding hands' - why would you stop holding her hand? I think that indicated to her you weren't interested, that was your opportunity to lean in more but instead you backed away by letting go of her hand - especially since the cinema was empty, she would have felt that you didn't even want to hold her hand infront of 2-3 other people in the cinema.

    But really, there wasn't a massive foundation for a relationship there, so it is no-ones fault other than 'she wasn't that interested' and you didn't show that you were interested enough. (all opinions are my own, feel free to ignore them)
    I showed enough interest, at least through our Whatsapp conversations. I have problems with intimacy and fearing rejection. I didn't want to come across as too desperate for holding her hand too much as it would make me needy.

    Even though she was smiling and happy throughout I didn't think she would ever be interested in me. I get really ****ing paranoid around girls and I always imagine that they're just laughing and judging just how creepy, weak and inept I am as a person so that's why I didn't want to keep holding her hand. I don't really think that girls would fine me interesting hence why I tend to hold back in case of being accused of being a creepy loser and humiliated in front of everyone.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mancini)
    If she thinks you are just friends why is she holding your hands in the cinema? Very odd.

    It is cringe but just learn from it and move on.
    Yeah it's strange. She sent me pictures previously and even talks about Netflix and chill and then gets offended when i play into it and flirt back.

    She said that she wants to be friends and then says she doesn't know what she wants!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by yung Ob)
    Probably. I mean, if she seemed a little defensive (folding her arms) during the movie, perhaps she already had that "this isn't happening" mindset. The CCCCCRRRRRRIIINGGE that happened afterwards could've been the final nail in the coffin for her. I remember taking a girl to the cinema on a date once. It was horrible, the drinks holder just felt like a massive wall, and that If I tried to cross it, she'd just be creeped out. That's all I could think about during the movie, "how do i touch this grill". Plot twist: I should've just chilled the f*** out and enjoyed the movie.

    I don't mean to sound preachy, but you should just take it as a lesson learned. Next time (there will be a next time, regardless of whether it's with her or not), just be more casual. Don't worry about making it awkward, worry about having a good time, chances are, it'll rub off on the lass you're with, and you'll BOTH have a good time. *thumbs up*
    Hmm probably, although when I was talking to her during the movie she was alright. How do you know there will be a next time? It took a lot of balls for me to even dare go that far but obviously my balls weren’t big enough! Definitely a lesson learned.

    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Maybe the problem is your mindset, "it's so hard to get laid these days"? Really, is that all your after? Sometimes we can pick up on it if a guy is just after getting his leg over.
    Well of course, I don’t wanna come off as a chicken and end up getting friendzoned which funnily enough is what happened. I’m anxious to do it as I’m still a virgin in my 20s and I fear I may not get another opportunity soon.
    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I don't think cockblock is the right word to use.

    Also, dates at the cinema are awkward. I think that they should be combined with something else for the exact reason that happened to you - awkwardly leaving after and not really being able to hold hands or kiss (both awkward things to do at a cinema!)

    Also, don't ask. (There was a debate on TSR about asking to be kissed and whether it's right or not). But don't force yourself on her either - work your way up, start with smaller things and look for signals.

    She said that you were just friends on a date? :hmmm: 💆

    Maybe give it some time, then talk, and if all is well ask her out again.
    Hmm okay what word would you use then? I picked the cinema cos we had coffee the first time. What else is a good second date idea? I didn’t wanna spend too much money before I knew she liked me.
    Yeah asking was pretty retarded of me. I had a feeling that I shouldn’t yet I still did it anyway. I didn’t wanna force myself on her but you live and you learn I guess.
    She said we’re friends after the date even though she let me hold her hand, sent me pictures and flirts a lot through Whatsapp.
    I won’t be speaking to her for a while now until things cool off. I don’t know if id wanna ask her out again but we’ll see.

    (Original post by The Arsonist)
    Go for a coffee next time. Walk somewhere pretty.

    There's no room to woo her when your activity is sitting silently in front of a screen. Coffee is also cheaper and good practice because you seem to be lacking in social ability (no offence meant. Just being realistic here) and finally you aren't forced to be together for 2 hours.
    We went for coffee on the first date. Yeah I lack social ability I know that. What do you suggest I do?

    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    He did say second date. But you're right. Cinema dates are traps. They are not good until you're pretty comfortable with the person already AND I would still suggest going to eat something after, or doing some other activity after. But eating as nice as then you have a nice opportunity to talk about the movie you just watched! But eating out is kinda high up there. Like, I wouldn't do that on a first or second date myself. So cinema too must be delayed until later.
    Okay what's a good second date idea then?

    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    So ****ing true.

    OP, if you want to get laid you need to make that explicitly obvious in your online dating profile. There sure are girls down for that. But they ain't really girlfriend material usually... But if that's all you want... Being honest is best. Or you are just wasting your time.
    I mentioned it to her twice on Whatsapp and it was Tinder where we met lol.
    (Original post by 41b)
    Lmao.

    Quit being a cuck.

    Take a zinc supplement, probably your testosterone levels are very low.
    I was on day 35 of Nofap and noporn. I take ZMA every three days.

    (Original post by AliRizzo)
    Lmao bet you paid for the movie too. Stop being a sucker man, who asks someone if they wanna make out hahaha.
    I actually didn't. I thought about it but then I just paid for my own ticket and she got hers. Yeah have a good laugh about it mate it’s pretty lame lol.

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    It's a second date, yo, I would find it incredibly attractive if a man had the balls to do that to me on a second date. She clearly sensed his lack of confidence and bailed.
    Yeah she did go on a second date with me but even then i didn't think she liked me that much as she was all quiet and shy. I thought about kissing her so much but i got palpitations and i just couldn't do it no matter how much she smiled and looked at me all doe eyed :'(

    I'm still kicking myself about it and have not been able to sleep properly since.

    At least now i know that if i ever take you out on a second date, you'll be getting more than just a kiss
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I dunno... you just didn't do yourself any favours or be 'smooth'.

    What kind of things to do are there around you? I guess it isn't pedalo weather maybe bowling or ice skating, something fun.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hezzlington)
    If this is your attitude towards dating women, and it's nothing more than wanting to get laid, then this is your problem.
    (Original post by ivybridge)
    This.
    Nothing to do with this. You're just not attractive enough. It's as simple as that.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BioStudentx)
    Nothing to do with this. You're just not attractive enough. It's as simple as that.
    Not sure how you can determine attractiveness from this... I'd say being a misogynistic **** who thinks women are your toys is much more unattractive than anything. Simple as that.
    Offline

    17
    (Original post by ivybridge)
    Not sure how you can determine attractiveness from this... I'd say being a misogynistic **** who thinks women are your toys is much more unattractive than anything. Simple as that.
    Nah, according to guys on TSR, that's 'alpha' behaviour

    Leave them to it lol
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BioStudentx)
    Nothing to do with this. You're just not attractive enough. It's as simple as that.
    This was a second 'date'..?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hezzlington)
    This was a second 'date'..?

    Like he said, he'd been friend zoned long before that.

    (Original post by ivybridge)
    Not sure how you can determine attractiveness from this... I'd say being a misogynistic **** who thinks women are your toys is much more unattractive than anything. Simple as that.
    Jeez, he said one sentence and you sound so annoyed. He could have easily said it out of pure frustration and because he was upset. You sound like a right judgmental sensitive **** who'd go crying for days because of an inappropriate 4 words.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BioStudentx)
    Like he said, he'd been friend zoned long before that.



    Jeez, he said one sentence and you sound so annoyed. He could have easily said it out of pure frustration and because he was upset. You sound like a right judgmental sensitive **** who'd go crying for days because of an inappropriate 4 words.
    Nope just intolerant of ********
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ivybridge)
    Nope just intolerant of ********
    Misogynistic? You gathered he was Misogynistic from the 6 words "it's so hard to get laid nowadays"? Do you ever know what that word means? "reflecting or exhibiting hatred,dislike,mistrust or mistreatment of women". This is completely crazy and you've completely blown it out of proportion.

    The double standards are amazing. Lets reverse the roles and imagine a women talking about getting laid? Would you still label them like you did to him?

    Political correctness gone crazy.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BioStudentx)
    Misogynistic? You gathered he was Misogynistic from the 6 words "it's so hard to get laid nowadays"? Do you ever know what that word means? "reflecting or exhibiting hatred,dislike,mistrust or mistreatment of women". This is completely crazy and you've completely blown it out of proportion.

    The double standards are amazing. Lets reverse the roles and imagine a women talking about getting laid? Would you still label them like you did to him?

    Political correctness gone crazy.
    I am calling you misogynistic for your response and yeah - thinking that the goal of getting with a girl is purely sexual is pretty misogynistic and has **** all to do with politics and everything to do with exactly what the girl after me said: men think it makes them alpha/brilliant. If a girl goes on the same persuit she is a ****.

    If the roles were reversed - I would say the same. This isn't about gender.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Maybe the problem is your mindset, "it's so hard to get laid these days"? Really, is that all your after? Sometimes we can pick up on it if a guy is just after getting his leg over.
    Is it possible to learn this power?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah it's strange. She sent me pictures previously and even talks about Netflix and chill and then gets offended when i play into it and flirt back.She said that she wants to be friends and then says she doesn't know what she wants!
    Gimme an example of one of these flirts.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ivybridge)
    I am calling you misogynistic for your response and yeah - thinking that the goal of getting with a girl is purely sexual is pretty misogynistic and has **** all to do with politics and everything to do with exactly what the girl after me said: men think it makes them alpha/brilliant. If a girl goes on the same persuit she is a ****.

    If the roles were reversed - I would say the same. This isn't about gender.
    You're calling me a misogynist for the response of "maybe he didn't mean it, he was frustrated and upset"? Sleeping around is unattractive for both genders - not just one. He never said he gets with girls purely for sex thats just your assumption from those 6 words. If you take every single word face value then scream out "SEXISM" and "MISOGYNY" at every possible opportunity then you just look like an idiot.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ivybridge)
    Not sure how you can determine attractiveness from this... I'd say being a misogynistic **** who thinks women are your toys is much more unattractive than anything. Simple as that.
    Misogynistic? Lol you know me so well don't you? You should go work for MI5/6 since your excellent character judgment abilities are clearly being wasted on this pathetic forum.

    Are you male or female?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BioStudentx)
    You're calling me a misogynist for the response of "maybe he didn't mean it, he was frustrated and upset"? Sleeping around is unattractive for both genders - not just one. He never said he gets with girls purely for sex thats just your assumption from those 6 words. If you take every single word face value then scream out "SEXISM" and "MISOGYNY" at every possible opportunity then you just look like an idiot.
    He did say it in those words lmfao.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 7, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Break up or unrequited love?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.