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    • Thread Starter

    Few days before Christmas this girl asked for my number at work ( i work in a bar)
    was surprised as this has never happened before. we have been texting ever since. We went out for drink (first date) couldn't have went better we got close kissing loads, she seemed real keen as she was biting my lip & neck.

    ive been seeing this other girl alot more often over the past few weeks. we had a chat about relationships n she said she aint looking for anything serious which is what i want too. she seems real keen & kinky and im excited as just the other day we were kissing in her living room and she mounted me so i know she wants it.

    One day she asked me "what are we then " Turns out she doesn't was to be friends with benefits, which was a shock as shes been saying otherwise. so we decided to just be friends. a few hours before this we were all over each other. im well confused she said "shes been hurt by too many people "

    ever since the conversation she hasn't been texting as much or in the fashion she used to. This frustrates me as i really enjoyed her company. i want to message her all the time but dont want to come across needy. Cant stop thinking of her. Think i may have feeling for her but not sure if its because im just horny . Should i somehow ask her if we can try to make a relationship work. but then shes gonna think im only saying that to have sex. what to do?
    • #1

    HiOkay, first of all, are you still seeing/talking to thisgirl you met before Christmas in a way that’s more than just friends? If so, doboth girls know that you are not exclusively talking to just them? You need tobe really careful about talking to more than one person at a time because itcan be really hurtful and unfair if the people you are seeing don’t know aboutit and want an exclusive relationship with you. Always make sure that they areinformed on the situation if you aren’t prepared to be committed yet as it willsave a lot of hurt and confusion later on. Always be open. Secondly, it sounds the girl you are particularly interestedin is unsure of where she stands. The fact that she has said that she has beenhurt by ‘too many people’ in the past implies that she has had bad, hurtfulexperiences in previous relationships with a similar friends-with-benefits setup, perhaps she had become attached to her sexual partners and ended up gettinghurt or messed around, so it’s completely understandable that she would ratherbe friends than mess around whilst your intentions are still unclear to her. Barethis in mind, put yourself in her shoes and try and understand how this mightbe making her feel. If I were you, I would arrange to meet up with her so thatyou can talk about what’s going on. Speak openly and honestly about how youfeel and ask her how you can compromise or what you can do to make things hurtfree so that you both feel comfortable in your arrangement. Perhaps you need tosee how things go if you feel that you may have feelings but are unsure? Inthat case, I wouldn’t rush into anything- make sure that she knows how you feeltowards her but that you will make an effort to consider her feelings andprevent her from getting hurt. I’m sure you can work things out. Good luck, Iwish you all the best. �Q�|��{AMg
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