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Dependent Friend GRR!

I have a friend who doesn't seem to do anything by herself & as it's starting to annoy me I wanted your opinions on why she might be acting like this.

Examples of her behaviour:
>> if I tell her I won't be going to lunch one day, when we meet up for dinner she tells me that she didn't actually go to lunch or have anything to eat that day. This then makes me start to feel guilty!
>> when another friend asked her to meet up at the union on a night out, my friend didn't go because I said I wasn't going out that night & I guess she didn't want to walk there/get a taxi by herself.
>> she won't even go to a class if she has no one to go with, which means that this is actually affecting her education! (<< slight exaggeration, but still!)

It's just really starting to annoy me, because I can't understand why she is so dependent on others - is it lack of confidence or what?

Thanks for reading this rant!

Reply 1

sauce

it's definetely a lack of confidence, she has to rely on others because she isn't sure of her own opinions. Just try and make her feel better about herself by asking her what she wants to do.

Reply 2

TheShrimp

Lilian

it's definetely a lack of confidence, she has to rely on others because she isn't sure of her own opinions. Just try and make her feel better about herself by asking her what she wants to do.

Thanks for the advice - I'm going to try it, as it seems such a waste of a friendship otherwise...

Reply 3

Aline

I guess I used to be a dependent friend myself (not as much as your friend), my dependancy was because I didn't have (and I didn't search for) other friends: everytime I was going out was with the same (girl) friend of mine and when she got a boyfriend and stopped going out I did too because I didn't have anyone else to go out with. Now I see how stupid I was not trying to meet other people and have other friends, it just extinguished my social life.
Your friend must realise that she shouldn't be so dependent on you and, for her own good, she should try to meet other people, talk with other people, going out with other people...then she wouldn't be so dependent on you (that is not a healthy thing) and you wouldn't feel so suffucated.

Reply 4

Angrybanana

Is she just generally afraid of being alone? This is having such a serious effect on her life, so it must be a real problem. I'd suggest inviting her out with you and introducing her to some of your other friends and leaving them alone to get to know each other. It does sound like a lack of confidence, but don't do things alone with her, get her to mix with as many other people as possible, then she'll have a range of people to call on if you aren't available to do things. Try to be sympathetic towards her though, and help her.