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Too young to settle down?

Hi,

Just wondering. I'm 20, and with a girlfriend who's almost 22. Now...basically, I've been going out with her for over 3 years and I'm happy with her...very much so. But I think she wants to get married fairly soon, and I really don't just yet. She knows I'm hesitant, but Im worried incase she gets impatient at any stage??

I dont wanna get married for another 5 years or so yet, you see. I'm just worried incase she becomes unhappy or insecure, or I get pressured into doing something I'll regret later in life...

Thoughts?? :biggrin:

Reply 1

dh00001

16

if you dont want to tell her that :smile:

why rush

Reply 2

smellielli

1

Talk to her.

Reply 3

graemematt

OP

12

No, I have! But er...sometimes things arent that easy.

Reply 4

username47781

20

Just be honest and tell her you are not ready yet. I have been going out with my girlfriend who's 22 and we've been together for 2 and half years, but we are not ready to even think about getting married.

Reply 5

shona

10

In six years time, would you marry her?

There's your gut reaction. If it's a no, I think you need to talk to her and be honest about how you're feeling. It may not necessarily be that she wants to get married now, more that she wants to know you're commited to her and would get married to her in the future. Even if that was in 6 years time.

Are you going to be happy with this one girl for the rest of your life? You must have been, what, 16, 17 when you first started dating her. Has she been your only girlfriend? What if she was always going to be your only girlfriend? Would it bother you?

Reply 6

hubba_bubba_nightmare

tell her how u feel wats the rush 2 get married if u'r meant to be together for a loong time what 5 years?

Reply 7

Talya

16

Here is what your girlfriend is thinking:
'I know I am going to be with you the rest of my life, so why can't we get married now? Don't you feel the same way?' *panic and insecurity set in*

You should have a good spiel ready about why you don't want to get married that doesn't involve not wanting to marry her specifically, if only to placate her.

Hope that works!

Reply 8

Louise88

If she really loved you, she would wait for you. I don't see why getting married would change a relationship, not really. If there is love there, that is the most important thing, not having a ring on your finger.

Be honest with her, if you two are meant to be together then you will be. If you aren't ready to get married or have doubts, tell her that and let her decide where she wants to go from there. It shouldn't matter if you two are married or dating, if you love them then the most important thing is that you two are together.

Just tell her the truth, don't do anything you aren't ready to do incase you regret it.

Reply 9

noisette1

Louise88

If she really loved you, she would wait for you.

If a man loves a woman he will wait until she is ready for sex.
If a woman loves a man she will wait until he is ready for marriage.

I hereby declare the conflict between male and females solved :p:

Reply 10

Louise88

Haha you know what I mean :p:

I wouldn't give up a great relationship just because we weren't getting married. If you love someone, that's all that matters! :p:

If it's going to happen, it will happen.

Reply 11

RoyalsFan

11

noisette1

If a man loves a woman he will wait until she is ready for sex.
If a woman loves a man she will wait until he is ready for marriage.

I hereby declare the conflict between male and females solved :p:

Someone get this man/woman a drink :p:

Reply 12

TopSortedMadForIt

7

Mate tell her what you told us. She may argue at first, but she'll respect you more in the long run

Reply 13

Joric

graemematt

Hi,

Just wondering. I'm 20, and with a girlfriend who's almost 22. Now...basically, I've been going out with her for over 3 years and I'm happy with her...very much so. But I think she wants to get married fairly soon, and I really don't just yet. She knows I'm hesitant, but Im worried incase she gets impatient at any stage??

I dont wanna get married for another 5 years or so yet, you see. I'm just worried incase she becomes unhappy or insecure, or I get pressured into doing something I'll regret later in life...

Thoughts?? :biggrin:

Have you told her about 5 years wait? What did she say?

Reply 14

BabyBee

long engagement?

Reply 15

ßlαcksωαn

17

The worse thing you could do was rush into such a huge commitment. You'd have to spend the rest of your life with this person. Take it seriously!

Reply 16

libertin

Why get married at all? What will change in your relationship if you tie the knot? Except for the fact that you have virtually cemented your relationship which will make things difficult to leave if you fall out of love a couple of years down the line.

I think 20 is really young, enjoy the relationship while it last. Don't mention anything to your girlfriend, but if she brings it up then make it clear that you don't want to marry so young in life.

Reply 17

devilgirl999

1

yes wayyy too young, i am 24 and im not even thinking about marriage or kids yet, i think you should get out of this relationship before she pressurises you

Reply 18

RoyalsFan

11

I would say that, she might not put any pressure on him at all. If she loves him, she'd be willing to wait until he is completely ready.

Reply 19

Minardi

12

devilgirl999

yes wayyy too young, i am 24 and im not even thinking about marriage or kids yet, i think you should get out of this relationship before she pressurises you

People on here seem obsessed with dumping OH's for the slightest transgression. Cheating, abuse etc fine, but she spoke to him about marridge so he should end it? ~sigh~

Too young to settle down?

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