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Im back to square one, how to fix things from here :(

Sr

just cut off all communication with him!! it's the only way!

Reply 2

Angrybanana

11

I agree that it was unlucky that he read your messages, but it was his account and you didn't know for sure that he was going to abandon it completely once you guys broke up. The fact that he checked it implies you must have been on his mind though. I'd just vent your feelings either on paper or somewhere else where they definitely won't be read. Maybe you should just say "sorry, it was my way of getting over the split, I didn't expect you to read them" and hopefully he'll be a bit more understanding.

Reply 3

Pork Pie Guy

10

i don't really get why you sent those messages there in the first place.

Reply 4

Purple

18

Delete him from yahoo.

Reply 5

shona

10

I think it was a mistake sending those messages in the first place.

Whenever you are angry or upset, writing letters can be therapeutic, but you should never send them to anyone! (Regardless of whether you think they'll actually see the light of day.)

I think you should write to your ex and explain that you didn't think he would read your messages, that you feel a bit embarrassed because you don't really mean what you wrote, you were just venting. Explain that you went so OTT because he meant a lot to you when you were going out, but that you have been moving on. Tell him that you are going to break contact (and then actually do!) but that you hope you'll be able to go back to being friends at some point in the future.

Reply 6

HereFishyFishy

13

Sorry, but what? You sent messages to his account expecting him not to read it and being angry/upset when he did?? He may have signed up especially to contact you but that doesn't mean he won't use his account in future. You really shouldn't have sent those and they have kind of made you look a bit foolish.
Delete him and write your feelings down in future. You might get some satisfaction out of burning them or something.

EDIT: And don't get so bothered at his 'anger' or whatever. You shouldn't care. It really isn't healthy.

Reply 7

Alasdair

14

From his reply, he sounds like a thoroughly reasonable, caring and sensitive individual. Go that man.

Reply 8

shona

10

I'm suggesting you make the effort to explain why you did what you did, to apologise, make a vague throwaway "let's stay friends" remark and leave it at that. You shouldn't have send him those messages... explaining why will help make you seem like a more normal person, and saying, let's stay friends after the dust settles, proves that you're getting over him. Otherwise you wouldn't suggest such a thing.

My advice is to make that effort, be the biggger person, and then cease communication with him permanently if you really can't cope with staying friends.

Reply 9

shona

10

miu_miu

How comes now he sounds like a decent person... Im just too confused :confused:

Don't worry about it. You clearly know him better than any of us.

Reply 10

shona

10

miu_miu

So what are you suggesting here ? :confused:

I mean, don't take alasdair_R's comment to heart. If you know your ex cheated on you, clearly he's not the decent guy alasdair_R made him out to be. You're in a much better position than any of us to judge what sort of person your ex is, and whether it's really worth trying to salvage a friendship or not.

Reply 11

HereFishyFishy

13

miu_miu

I thought so when I read his messages but then how could he cheat on me when we were on holidays, broke up with me for the first time without giving any reasons... I took him back not knowing he cheated on me, then I found out, he broke up with me accusing me of not trusting him...sorry it was very messy break-up... I loved him so much and it hurt me like hell when I found out he broke up with me the first time because he was cheating on me

How comes now he sounds like a decent person... Im just too confused :confused:

And, to be fair, it doesn't really matter whether there's any element of decentness to him anyway (which I doubt). He's made it clear the relationship is over and you have to deal with that. Stop worrying about it and try to move on. Distract yourself, stop messaging him, look into a new and better relationship. I feel for you, but you're not doing yourself any favours here.

Reply 12

spacecowgirl89

1

Write and burn. It's a good way to get rid. :smile:

Reply 13

General Mullet

Send him loads of angry messages. Foolproof.

Reply 14

HereFishyFishy

13

miu_miu

Sure, Im not gonna send messages to him anymore but the thing is I just wish he would have just pretended that he hadnt read those lines and hadnt replied me so I would have moved on and have been mostly healed since that day.

I just hate the fact that towards the break-up he claimed not using this IM anymore and uninstalled from his computer ages ago ( so we used MSN ) and even said that it wasnt compatible to his Mac computer and now just after I said something he suddenly appeared and acted like that.

In my heart, long time ago I knew the relationship was over, I wasnt holding on to him but rather wished a proper break-up since text-break-up happened to me twice, can you understand that ? :redface:

Im just confused about his behavior , but I shouldnt worry about him anymore because we are just nothing to each other now, and sure I dont want to be friend with him..so the option of writing a letter and explaining things seem ridiculous to me

Yes, ok, but he had a right to reply to those messages considering they were sent to him. He probably thought he needed to reply because otherwise you would have kept sending them to him. In replying, he's got exactly what he wanted - you stopping the messages.

It's not nice to be cheated on, or broken up with via text, but what does that tell you about him? He's not worth it. Cut your loses now and move on.

Im back to square one, how to fix things from here :(

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