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I met this guy, he is quite common, and i go to a good boarding school watch


    Hi, i know this is going to sound really stuck up of me, but i met this guy, and we get on so well, and i think he likes me alot, but the thing is, he is quite common, and i go to a good boarding school, and i think my parenmts have higher expectations for me, but i dont knnow what to do, what do you think?

    pls help
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    (Original post by Unregistered)
    Hi, i know this is going to sound really stuck up of me, but i met this guy, and we get on so well, and i think he likes me alot, but the thing is, he is quite common, and i go to a good boarding school, and i think my parenmts have higher expectations for me, but i dont knnow what to do, what do you think?

    pls help
    It's your life, not your parents'.
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    yeah that does sound stuck up of you. maybe he thinks ure to posh to show to his parents
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    I wasn't aware there was a specific set of rules which state that you must only seek relationships with those of a higher or equal social standing (thought this went out when people began to understand that most of the class system is based on total fluke of birth).

    If you like the guy you should see him, if you don't like him then you should not!

    PS - The way you refer to him a "common" suggests to me that you might have a dim view of him in the same way that your parents do (hope I am wrong).
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    Jeez u guys are being a bit judgemental. I understand what you mean and you aren't being stuck up. Its not just that your entire family and probably his would disapprove, dating between really different classes poses all sorts of other problems. I know we all like to live in a happy politically correct world but things don't always work out the way they should. For example when would you ever see each other? You run in totally different social circles and your lives are probably running in different directions. And to be honest I think you'd probably end up resenting each other. Him because he might sense that in a sense you do look down on him and he might not feel like he lives up to your standards, and you might resent him because in reality he might not live up to your standards. I actually think it might work if it were the other way round, but I don't think in the long run most men are comfortable when the woman wears the trousers so to speak.
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    Just because we don't live live in a nice happy "politically correct" society, does that mean we should not be working towards the creation of one???

    Don't really understand how you could ask "when would you ever see eachother" unless you have an intimate knowlegde of the lives of these two people!?!

    Nor do I understand how you can suggest that their lives are running in different directions. Can people who don't go to boarding school not acheive a high social standing. Conversely, can someone from boarding school not end up a member of the lower class??

    If she likes the person, then does he not automatically meet her "standards" or will he be required to get his Masters Degree before he is "good enough"???


    The only information that we have been given is that (a) she seems to like the guy and (b) he seems to like her. Would it be a crime against the classes if they were to see eachother


    *Just for kicks im listening Masses Against The Classes In The Background*
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    Your opinion on this depends on whether you believe that we should live in a classless society. I don't believe its possible and its nature's intention for there to be classes. All animals who live in little communities have a form of class too. Yes it does suck that there are people who are ridiculously rich whilst others are so poor they can hardly feed themselves but no amount of good intention will ever change that. I'm only basing my opinion on the info given. She's upper class, he's lower class, it is likely that their lives are not going in the same directions though she's the only one who could really know that, and it would be difficult for them to see each other. She's away at school most of the year, how could it not be difficult. Am not saying it would be impossible but it might be a strain that neither of them want to bear.
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    Just to point this out - She never said she was upper-class, she only said she went to boarding school. It is possible to go to boarding school and not be upper-class.

    If she was to only go out with people that she had guaranteed daily contact with, she would have to go out with someone at her school (would particularly like to know if its an all girls school!!!).

    If they think that it is worth the strain then why should they not try it??


    Again, if you simplify the situation you have one girl and one boy who like eachother. If they want to see eachother, why not??
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    (Original post by Toyosi)
    Your opinion on this depends on whether you believe that we should live in a classless society. I don't believe its possible and its nature's intention for there to be classes. All animals who live in little communities have a form of class too. Yes it does suck that there are people who are ridiculously rich whilst others are so poor they can hardly feed themselves but no amount of good intention will ever change that. I'm only basing my opinion on the info given. She's upper class, he's lower class, it is likely that their lives are not going in the same directions though she's the only one who could really know that, and it would be difficult for them to see each other. She's away at school most of the year, how could it not be difficult. Am not saying it would be impossible but it might be a strain that neither of them want to bear.
    There are a lot of things that animals do that thankfully we don't for example rabbits eat their own faeces, female spiders kill and devour their mates etc. Justifying something as natural because animals do it is absurd. Your attitude towards the rich-poor divide is quite sad. I think if everybody was as apathetic as you then the situation would never change but if people with this "it will never change" actually tried to do something it would change, for the better.

    she said he was common, which means middle/working class, not lower class. And even if their lives are headed in different directions, of which you have no evidence or justification, whats wrong with enjoying themseles now?
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    (Original post by It'sPhil...)
    There are a lot of things that animals do that thankfully we don't for example rabbits eat their own faeces, female spiders kill and devour their mates etc. Justifying something as natural because animals do it is absurd. Your attitude towards the rich-poor divide is quite sad. I think if everybody was as apathetic as you then the situation would never change but if people with this "it will never change" actually tried to do something it would change, for the better.

    she said he was common, which means middle/working class, not lower class. And even if their lives are headed in different directions, of which you have no evidence or justification, whats wrong with enjoying themseles now?
    I agree with that. People are born into different classes but there is no reason to feel that they restrict you in any way. Britian has the most obvious class system. Most countries do not suffer from this, or at least not as much as us.
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    (Original post by Lord Huntroyde)
    Most countries do not suffer from this, or at least not as much as us.

    One of the many reasons why I will be living in a different country by the time I am 25.
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    I'm guessing you need quite a bit of money to go to a good boarding school and I'm not the only person making assumptions here. If they want to go for it then fine go for it, have fun be happy. She just doesn't sound particularly happy about this situation. If it didn't matter at all to her then she wouldn't have put up this post. I am merely saying I can understand why she would have doubts whereas nobody else was being particularly sympathetic to her situation. I'm black and I get really annoyed when people suggest that people should only date within their race because I think thats totally stupid however I can understand why some people don't want to and I'm not going to label them as racist just because of it. I imagine everyone now thinks i'm a snob simply because I've said i can understand the reasons why people wouldn't want to date outside their class but that isn't the case. If they really like each other than thats great but she sounds pretty doubtful to me.
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    Whether she is doubtfull or not, it should be hers and the other persons decision which means that they should feel free to make it. If they are forced into making a decision because because of someone else's opinion then they have clearly not made their own choice!!!

    I can understand why you would sympathise and I am certain that there would be problems in dating outside your social standing but what I am saying is that if you ignore all of the S**T that has no bearing on the people (i.e. other people misconceptions / opinions), you still have two people who want to spend time together. She gives no other reson why she would have second thoughts about this person therefore ouside factors are the only thing stopping something that the pair maight want to happen -GROSSELY WRONG!!!


    "It is in the persuit of idealism that things of real value are found" - KM
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    You're totally right it should be her decision alone but she's posted this thing on the board asking for other people's opinions so maybe she isn't the sort of person who can just ignore other people's opinions and do what she feels is right. If that is the case it might be harder for her to go against popular opinion (ie. her family, maybe her friends or whatever). They could get together and she might be unhappy simply because she has gone against her family. Maybe she can't handle that. Its really hard to know what's what because its a really vague scenario but I get the impression that if she really wanted this she would have done it already.
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    Would agree that detail would have made advice a LOT easier but...

    Given that they like eachother and the only other factor is other people's opinions I think that she would owe it to herself to at least see the guy (could just be blind idealism - my speciallity)!
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    Am looking forward to the day I bring home a non Nigerian boyfriend and my family is so shocked and my mum has a nervous breakdown hehe. Gotta love the contention.
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    What would be her reaction to a none Nigerian GIRLFRIEND, now that would be interesting!!
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    Am thinking a Polish transsexual stripper might have the best effect. Now where could I find one??
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    Dont have a polish one but i brough a Swedish one back with me. lol
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    Sounds like a plan. You'll have to lend him/her to me. If I break the news on results day ( provided I get good results ) I might not get disowned.
    Am starting to feel sorry for whoever started this thread. You have no idea how much some families suck about this kind of thing. Luckily I think my mum now expects me to do whatever I want. I was born to be difficult.
 
 
 
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