Will my crush like this poem I wrote for her? (Be honest please) :)

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
This took me several weeks to write so please tell me what you think:

Now, I can’t live without you
What’s my life without you
If I part with you
Then I will part with myself too
Because you are the one
You are my life
My peace and my pain
Now, only you are my love
Our relationship is such thatI can’t stand even a moment away from you
Everyday I am living for you
All my time is given to you
None of my moment is complete without you
Every breath bears your name
Because you are the one
You are my life
Now, only you are my loveI have lived only for you
That I gave myself to you
Being loyal to you kept me on track
Removed all the pain from heart
Now, my life is only with you
Oh my love, I feel complete after I got you
Because you are the one
Now you are the one
1
Mayhem™
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#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
Why couldn't you just ask them out?
20
Alexion
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#3
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#3
*cringe*
15
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by Mayhem™)
Why couldn't you just ask them out?
That's what I'm planning to do, after reading this to them.
0
username155270
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Mayhem™)
Why couldn't you just ask them out?
It's called romance, learn it child.
2
Pseudo-truth
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#6
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#6
Maybe tone it down a little bit if they're just a crush at the moment. Don't want to sound rude but it sounds a bit full on
8
Dusky Mauve
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#7
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#7
No, it will most likely embarrass them so much that they never want to look you in the eye again
3
Serine Soul
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#8
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#8
Why read Shakespeare when you can read Anonymous?
28
EllainKahlo
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#9
Report 6 years ago
#9
I really like poetry but that would creep me out dude.
3
MrsSheldonCooper
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#10
Report 6 years ago
#10
You can't live life without her?

Are you sure about that one? Food is way better imo
13
Anonymous #2
#11
Report 6 years ago
#11
In years to come you will regret this greatly if you show it to your crush
1
Mayhem™
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#12
Report 6 years ago
#12
(Original post by xobeauty)
It's called romance, learn it child.
I don't need no poem to pull :sexface:
1
Blondie987
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#13
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#13
I could understand if she's already your girlfriend but to asks Oenone out it's definitely a bit much
1
Kevin De Bruyne
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#14
Report 6 years ago
#14
That's too much for a crush. Maybe something smaller and sillier if you feel like doing a poem but.. there are better ways than that.

'Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Fancy going out tonight?
I don't know how to make things rhyme '.
2
ivy.98
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#15
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#15
Crush?!?! Sounds more like a poem to someone you've spent your entire life with :erm:
3
Profesh
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#16
Report 6 years ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
This took me several weeks to write so please tell me what you think:

Now, I can’t live without you
What’s my life without you
If I part with you
Then I will part with myself too
Because you are the one
You are my life
My peace and my pain
Now, only you are my love
Our relationship is such thatI can’t stand even a moment away from you
Everyday I am living for you
All my time is given to you
None of my moment is complete without you
Every breath bears your name
Because you are the one
You are my life
Now, only you are my loveI have lived only for you
That I gave myself to you
Being loyal to you kept me on track
Removed all the pain from heart
Now, my life is only with you
Oh my love, I feel complete after I got you
Because you are the one
Now you are the one
You're fooling no-one, 'anonymous':

1
user382
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#17
Report 6 years ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
This took me several weeks to write so please tell me what you think:

Now, I can’t live without you
What’s my life without you
If I part with you
Then I will part with myself too
Because you are the one
You are my life
My peace and my pain
Now, only you are my love
Our relationship is such thatI can’t stand even a moment away from you
Everyday I am living for you
All my time is given to you
None of my moment is complete without you
Every breath bears your name
Because you are the one
You are my life
Now, only you are my loveI have lived only for you
That I gave myself to you
Being loyal to you kept me on track
Removed all the pain from heart
Now, my life is only with you
Oh my love, I feel complete after I got you
Because you are the one
Now you are the one

How about...

Plz be my ho
Without u I'm low
Bet u got a top vag
I can't wait to shag

Much more romantic.
2
user73867
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#18
Report 6 years ago
#18
I would keep the poem tucked away for a rainy day when your relationship is a little more developed.


Bringing it out several months later, it will be rather romantic then.


You're probably just going to scare her off. The poor girl may just be terrified.


As for the poetry, it's rather plain, too many "ones" and "you" - other than that, not half-bad.

Either way, I hope it works out well for you!


SS
2
Fiduciam
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#19
Report 6 years ago
#19
Rate mine OP:

If I were you
I would not show her this
It's pretty poo
Sorry for taking the piss

:indiff:
11
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#20
So whether I say it mid or at the start of dating, is it a decent piece?
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