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Will my crush like this poem I wrote for her? (Be honest please) :) watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    This took me several weeks to write so please tell me what you think:

    Now, I can’t live without you
    What’s my life without you
    If I part with you
    Then I will part with myself too
    Because you are the one
    You are my life
    My peace and my pain
    Now, only you are my love
    Our relationship is such thatI can’t stand even a moment away from you
    Everyday I am living for you
    All my time is given to you
    None of my moment is complete without you
    Every breath bears your name
    Because you are the one
    You are my life
    Now, only you are my loveI have lived only for you
    That I gave myself to you
    Being loyal to you kept me on track
    Removed all the pain from heart
    Now, my life is only with you
    Oh my love, I feel complete after I got you
    Because you are the one
    Now you are the one
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    Why couldn't you just ask them out?
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    *cringe*
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mayhem™)
    Why couldn't you just ask them out?
    That's what I'm planning to do, after reading this to them.
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    (Original post by Mayhem™)
    Why couldn't you just ask them out?
    It's called romance, learn it child.
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    Maybe tone it down a little bit if they're just a crush at the moment. Don't want to sound rude but it sounds a bit full on
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    No, it will most likely embarrass them so much that they never want to look you in the eye again
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    18
    Why read Shakespeare when you can read Anonymous?
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    I really like poetry but that would creep me out dude.
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    You can't live life without her?

    Are you sure about that one? Food is way better imo
    • #2
    #2

    In years to come you will regret this greatly if you show it to your crush
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    It's called romance, learn it child.
    I don't need no poem to pull :sexface:
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    I could understand if she's already your girlfriend but to asks Oenone out it's definitely a bit much
    • Very Important Poster
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    Very Important Poster
    That's too much for a crush. Maybe something smaller and sillier if you feel like doing a poem but.. there are better ways than that.

    'Roses are red,
    violets are blue.
    Fancy going out tonight?
    I don't know how to make things rhyme '.
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    Crush?!?! Sounds more like a poem to someone you've spent your entire life with :erm:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This took me several weeks to write so please tell me what you think:

    Now, I can’t live without you
    What’s my life without you
    If I part with you
    Then I will part with myself too
    Because you are the one
    You are my life
    My peace and my pain
    Now, only you are my love
    Our relationship is such thatI can’t stand even a moment away from you
    Everyday I am living for you
    All my time is given to you
    None of my moment is complete without you
    Every breath bears your name
    Because you are the one
    You are my life
    Now, only you are my loveI have lived only for you
    That I gave myself to you
    Being loyal to you kept me on track
    Removed all the pain from heart
    Now, my life is only with you
    Oh my love, I feel complete after I got you
    Because you are the one
    Now you are the one
    You're fooling no-one, 'anonymous':

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This took me several weeks to write so please tell me what you think:

    Now, I can’t live without you
    What’s my life without you
    If I part with you
    Then I will part with myself too
    Because you are the one
    You are my life
    My peace and my pain
    Now, only you are my love
    Our relationship is such thatI can’t stand even a moment away from you
    Everyday I am living for you
    All my time is given to you
    None of my moment is complete without you
    Every breath bears your name
    Because you are the one
    You are my life
    Now, only you are my loveI have lived only for you
    That I gave myself to you
    Being loyal to you kept me on track
    Removed all the pain from heart
    Now, my life is only with you
    Oh my love, I feel complete after I got you
    Because you are the one
    Now you are the one

    How about...

    Plz be my ho
    Without u I'm low
    Bet u got a top vag
    I can't wait to shag

    Much more romantic.
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    I would keep the poem tucked away for a rainy day when your relationship is a little more developed.


    Bringing it out several months later, it will be rather romantic then.


    You're probably just going to scare her off. The poor girl may just be terrified.


    As for the poetry, it's rather plain, too many "ones" and "you" - other than that, not half-bad.

    Either way, I hope it works out well for you!


    SS
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    Rate mine OP:

    If I were you
    I would not show her this
    It's pretty poo
    Sorry for taking the piss

    :indiff:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So whether I say it mid or at the start of dating, is it a decent piece?
 
 
 
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