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I'm considering dropping out of University, in need of some serious help! Watch

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    Hi guys, to begin, I've made this account so I could post on the forums and look for some advice or guidance.

    I'll introduce myself first, I'm a university student in my first year of a Computer Science degree. I feel like I'm 50/50 with the course and it's contents, and a Computing Degree may have been a better option for me as it does not revolve around Maths as much as a Computer Science degree.

    After my first semester at the university, I was somewhat happy... but as of recently, everything has gone down hill. I am not fitting in at all, the main reason for this was because I commute to the university every day opposed to living there, and so I don't have a "uni life". I also regret community because I travel a minimum of 5 hours daily, and it's honestly taking a toll on my health physically and mentally.

    Since the new semester began, my time table has been atrocious, every day, I have to set my alarm for 5:50 (leave the house by 6:30) to be in the university by 9:00, and there are huge breaks between lectures (2 days of the week, I have 5 hour gaps between lectures), which is also very bad for me personally as I have noone to speak to and normally sit alone in a computer room (as I am doing now).

    On campus, I have only 1 friend, and on days when he isn't in, I tend to sit alone, I also feel really depressed wishing something could change. I haven't been going to lectures for the past 2 (3rd now) week because I've been feeling extremely depressed and demotivated to go to university.

    Could someone please help me, I am desperately consider dropping out, but I know my dad will be furious at me if I do so... as of recently, I've been leaving the house and going on long journeys to other cities as means to waste time, I know it sounds pathetic, but it's the only thing keeping me out for long enough to make it seem like I'm attending.

    Keep in mind, if I do drop out, I do personally plan on returning to education once I've figured myself out and matured enough to be ready and dedicated enough for university. By then, I will also have a car, so the university I currently go to will only be a 30 minute drive.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    TL;DR: Extremely depressed, commute 5 hours daily, only have a single friend, otherwise I sit alone, time table is extremely bad and I find the course content 5050, but please, read the whole post.
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    Why on earth are you doing that crazy commute? Why not live at the uni?
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    Can I ask why living at the uni was/is not an option for you? You say that even in the future if you intend to go back to uni later that you will drive there instead of living there. Is it not possible for you to stick it out for the next few months, do your absolute best and move closer to the uni for your second year? Is a transfer of course possible at this stage?

    If you're incredibly unhappy then perhaps dropping out now is the best option, as you will have three years funding from SFE still or when you return to uni at a later date. I'd suggest seeking help and guidance from a counsellor at your uni and discuss your options with them firstly before you make any rash decisions.
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    (Original post by Potally_Tissed)
    Why on earth are you doing that crazy commute? Why not live at the uni?
    I thought I could manage commuting for the first year to save a bit of money, and then drive from year 2 onwards (as I'm working towards my driving license now), but it's seriously taken it's toll on me. I regret it now.
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Can I ask why living at the uni was/is not an option for you? You say that even in the future if you intend to go back to uni later that you will drive there instead of living there. Is it not possible for you to stick it out for the next few months, do your absolute best and move closer to the uni for your second year? Is a transfer of course possible at this stage?

    If you're incredibly unhappy then perhaps dropping out now is the best option, as you will have three years funding from SFE still or when you return to uni at a later date. I'd suggest seeking help and guidance from a counsellor at your uni and discuss your options with them firstly before you make any rash decisions.
    I was more concerned about saving money in the long run, the university is a 30 minute drive away, however, I did not a license, and so, the only other option to save myself about £4000 would have been to commute via Bus, I'm extremely unhappy at the moment, the only reason I've been "going" is to keep my parents happy, otherwise, I wouldn't go at all.

    I feel like I'm not mature enough to go yet, and I need to figure myself out and work for a year or two before deciding to go back.
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    I thought I could manage commuting for the first year to save a bit of money, and then drive from year 2 onwards (as I'm working towards my driving license now), but it's seriously taken it's toll on me. I regret it now.
    I'd suggest either:

    1) Power through year 1 and then find accommodation for year 2. People usually post ads looking for roommates so you could meet friends through there.
    2) Drop out. Take some time to rest and think things through. Reapply again.
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    Firstly I do ICT. The reason why I did ICT rather than computer science is because I HATE MATHS!!!!

    few tips:

    1. 90% of computer science is probably maths.
    2. Try and stick at it!!
    3. Live at uni to get the full experience.
    4. If your struggling book an appointment with a lecturer or careers advice.

    5. Don't quit uni!! So many people change degree or don't enjoy it... Pick a new course next year
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    Hi guys, to begin, I've made this account so I could post on the forums and look for some advice or guidance.

    I'll introduce myself first, I'm a university student in my first year of a Computer Science degree. I feel like I'm 50/50 with the course and it's contents, and a Computing Degree may have been a better option for me as it does not revolve around Maths as much as a Computer Science degree.

    After my first semester at the university, I was somewhat happy... but as of recently, everything has gone down hill. I am not fitting in at all, the main reason for this was because I commute to the university every day opposed to living there, and so I don't have a "uni life". I also regret community because I travel a minimum of 5 hours daily, and it's honestly taking a toll on my health physically and mentally.

    Since the new semester began, my time table has been atrocious, every day, I have to set my alarm for 5:50 (leave the house by 6:30) to be in the university by 9:00, and there are huge breaks between lectures (2 days of the week, I have 5 hour gaps between lectures), which is also very bad for me personally as I have noone to speak to and normally sit alone in a computer room (as I am doing now).

    On campus, I have only 1 friend, and on days when he isn't in, I tend to sit alone, I also feel really depressed wishing something could change. I haven't been going to lectures for the past 2 (3rd now) week because I've been feeling extremely depressed and demotivated to go to university.

    Could someone please help me, I am desperately consider dropping out, but I know my dad will be furious at me if I do so... as of recently, I've been leaving the house and going on long journeys to other cities as means to waste time, I know it sounds pathetic, but it's the only thing keeping me out for long enough to make it seem like I'm attending.

    Keep in mind, if I do drop out, I do personally plan on returning to education once I've figured myself out and matured enough to be ready and dedicated enough for university. By then, I will also have a car, so the university I currently go to will only be a 30 minute drive.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    TL;DR: Extremely depressed, commute 5 hours daily, only have a single friend, otherwise I sit alone, time table is extremely bad and I find the course content 5050, but please, read the whole post.
    best thing to do is either speak to someone at the uni in their student services part about it and maybe consider moving to a uni closer or even changing courses in September, remember if you have to post this in a forum, is it worth the thousands of pounds and the rest of the two years for the degree?
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    (Original post by High Stakes)
    I'd suggest either:

    1) Power through year 1 and then find accommodation for year 2. People usually post ads looking for roommates so you could meet friends through there.
    2) Drop out. Take some time to rest and think things through. Reapply again.
    I feel like the latter is my only option, I hate it currently, I'm unsure how to bring it up to my parents without making them extremely disappointed.
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    I was more concerned about saving money in the long run, the university is a 30 minute drive away, however, I did not a license, and so, the only other option to save myself about £4000 would have been to commute via Bus, I'm extremely unhappy at the moment, the only reason I've been "going" is to keep my parents happy, otherwise, I wouldn't go at all.

    I feel like I'm not mature enough to go yet, and I need to figure myself out and work for a year or two before deciding to go back.
    I can understand that. When I went to uni for the first time at 19 I chose to commute to save money and wasn't entirely certain on the course I chose. I hated it and dropped out because I wasn't ready among other reasons. Now I'm 25 and finally ready to go back, but this time I intend to live at uni. If you feel you aren't ready then definitely discuss that with a counsellor at the uni and let them know how you're feeling. It's very important to talk about it a lot before you actually do it otherwise you may end up regretting it. Is it possible to tell your parents that you are considering dropping out at this stage? It may be scary but if you tell them honestly how you're feeling they may be more understanding than you think.

    May I ask though, what is it about this semester that's made you feel differently? You said the first semester went well and you were relatively happy. Did something change?
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    Hi guys, to begin, I've made this account so I could post on the forums and look for some advice or guidance.

    I'll introduce myself first, I'm a university student in my first year of a Computer Science degree. I feel like I'm 50/50 with the course and it's contents, and a Computing Degree may have been a better option for me as it does not revolve around Maths as much as a Computer Science degree.

    After my first semester at the university, I was somewhat happy... but as of recently, everything has gone down hill. I am not fitting in at all, the main reason for this was because I commute to the university every day opposed to living there, and so I don't have a "uni life". I also regret community because I travel a minimum of 5 hours daily, and it's honestly taking a toll on my health physically and mentally.

    Since the new semester began, my time table has been atrocious, every day, I have to set my alarm for 5:50 (leave the house by 6:30) to be in the university by 9:00, and there are huge breaks between lectures (2 days of the week, I have 5 hour gaps between lectures), which is also very bad for me personally as I have noone to speak to and normally sit alone in a computer room (as I am doing now).

    On campus, I have only 1 friend, and on days when he isn't in, I tend to sit alone, I also feel really depressed wishing something could change. I haven't been going to lectures for the past 2 (3rd now) week because I've been feeling extremely depressed and demotivated to go to university.

    Could someone please help me, I am desperately consider dropping out, but I know my dad will be furious at me if I do so... as of recently, I've been leaving the house and going on long journeys to other cities as means to waste time, I know it sounds pathetic, but it's the only thing keeping me out for long enough to make it seem like I'm attending.

    Keep in mind, if I do drop out, I do personally plan on returning to education once I've figured myself out and matured enough to be ready and dedicated enough for university. By then, I will also have a car, so the university I currently go to will only be a 30 minute drive.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    TL;DR: Extremely depressed, commute 5 hours daily, only have a single friend, otherwise I sit alone, time table is extremely bad and I find the course content 5050, but please, read the whole post.
    Short term things to do:
    Speak to someone at your university - whether it's the counselling service, nightline or your tutor - it's important to let them know you're struggling and why. They might not be able to help directly but it's amazing what a difference getting things out to someone in person can make to how you feel (I'm guessing even writing it all out in this post has made you feel a bit better).

    Also if you're only a 30 minute drive from uni then have a look on https://carshare.liftshare.com/ or blablacar and see if there's anyone who could offer you a lift (or find out if your uni takes part in a car sharing site) - even if this was only one way it could help bring the commute back to manageable levels which will then give you some energy and time to work out if your other problems can be solved without dropping out or if dropping out is the best choice. Even if your uni doesn't have a formal lift share and you can't find anyone on the sites - put up some posters to see if anyone might be willing to offer you a lift.

    Depending on your university it might be worth checking into the SU activities - they might have some sort of friendship scheme - or a way to meet flatmates/housemates for private accommodation (and if you looked into moving into a shared house next year this could help solve 2 of your main problems at once if you can just get through the next 4/5 months).

    Does your friend have any other friends? Are there people on your course who are always at lecturers? Does your SU have a mature students/live at home society/common room? Asking familiar faces "do you mind if I hang around with you guys until this afternoons lecture?" isn't a big deal - if they say no then you don't want to have them as friends, if they say not today then you make it easier next time and if they say yes then you've widened your social circle massively with a single conversation. Have a look at who sits at the front at lectures - mature students are likely to be in a very similar situation to you with having free time and they might be willing to let you join them. I ended up in a social circle of 4 commuters at uni - 2 of them were mature and 2 of us were young but commuting. We spent the times between lectures chatting and working and all did a lot better in our studies for the friendship.
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    (Original post by urbanlocations)
    Firstly I do ICT. The reason why I did ICT rather than computer science is because I HATE MATHS!!!!

    few tips:

    1. 90% of computer science is probably maths.
    2. Try and stick at it!!
    3. Live at uni to get the full experience.
    4. If your struggling book an appointment with a lecturer or careers advice.

    5. Don't quit uni!! So many people change degree or don't enjoy it... Pick a new course next year
    I've been trying hard with the maths, but as someone who joined the course with only a GCSE A in math and 2 years out of math (due to me doing a college course instead of A-levels), it's extremely hard. I honestly don't think quitting is the end of the world, I can always re-apply for a different course when I feel like I'm ready, but I just don't know who to mention it to, I'm afraid my parents will be extremely mad if I do leave which is why I've been going on long journeys instead of attending the university.
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    [QUOTE=PQ;62583329]
    Does your friend have any other friends? Are there people on your course who are always at lecturers? /QUOTE]

    There are a few people who I talk to, but I don't get along with them very well. I say hello and then there's an awkward silence until the lecture starts. I am quite socially awkward and as of lately, I've just been avoiding everyone.
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    I've been trying hard with the maths, but as someone who joined the course with only a GCSE A in math and 2 years out of math (due to me doing a college course instead of A-levels), it's extremely hard. I honestly don't think quitting is the end of the world, I can always re-apply for a different course when I feel like I'm ready, but I just don't know who to mention it to, I'm afraid my parents will be extremely mad if I do leave which is why I've been going on long journeys instead of attending the university.
    I chose the exact same pathway as you.. I came out of school with a an E in maths I worked my back side off to get my C in which I did. I also choose the BTEC route.... Even I am struggling with maths on ICT Java, variables, binary, hexadecimal.

    The really annoying thing for us is that.... Computers communicate and run with maths.
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    I can understand that. When I went to uni for the first time at 19 I chose to commute to save money and wasn't entirely certain on the course I chose. I hated it and dropped out because I wasn't ready among other reasons. Now I'm 25 and finally ready to go back, but this time I intend to live at uni. If you feel you aren't ready then definitely discuss that with a counsellor at the uni and let them know how you're feeling. It's very important to talk about it a lot before you actually do it otherwise you may end up regretting it. Is it possible to tell your parents that you are considering dropping out at this stage? It may be scary but if you tell them honestly how you're feeling they may be more understanding than you think.

    May I ask though, what is it about this semester that's made you feel differently? You said the first semester went well and you were relatively happy. Did something change?
    My mother is currently in Spain, but I do plan on talking with her when she comes back this week as she is more considerate and she will sympathise with me. I will try and talk to my mother about how I'm feeling.

    The first semester went well due to a variety of reasons, I found 2 of the 4 units I did relatively easy, and my time table was a lot easier to work with as it would allow me to wake up at a reasonable time, and there was no gaps between lectures (twice a week there is a 5 hour gap between lectures),

    This term however is the complete opposite, I hate having to do advanced Java and advanced Math, the only unit I'm finding do-able is the web-development. My time table is atrocious too, I have to wake up at 5:50 every day (which I haven't done once this semester), and finish at 17:00-18:00 3 days a week, so I'm not home until atleast 20:00.
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    (Original post by urbanlocations)
    I chose the exact same pathway as you.. I came out of school with a an E in maths I worked my back side off to get my C in which I did. I also choose the BTEC route.... Even I am struggling with maths on ICT Java, variables, binary, hexadecimal.

    The really annoying thing for us is that.... Computers communicate and run with maths.
    How are you finding it? What have you done to deal with it, I really want to try, but I feel like it's too late, and I just can't physically do it anymore.
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    My mother is currently in Spain, but I do plan on talking with her when she comes back this week as she is more considerate and she will sympathise with me. I will try and talk to my mother about how I'm feeling.

    The first semester went well due to a variety of reasons, I found 2 of the 4 units I did relatively easy, and my time table was a lot easier to work with as it would allow me to wake up at a reasonable time, and there was no gaps between lectures (twice a week there is a 5 hour gap between lectures),

    This term however is the complete opposite, I hate having to do advanced Java and advanced Math, the only unit I'm finding do-able is the web-development. My time table is atrocious too, I have to wake up at 5:50 every day (which I haven't done once this semester), and finish at 17:00-18:00 3 days a week, so I'm not home until atleast 20:00.
    I'd have a serious chat with both your parents and your tutor/counsellor at the uni and go from there. Do you have a plan for what you'll do if you do drop out? Job, etc? I'm assuming you still live at home with your parents.
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    Hi guys, to begin, I've made this account so I could post on the forums and look for some advice or guidance.

    I'll introduce myself first, I'm a university student in my first year of a Computer Science degree. I feel like I'm 50/50 with the course and it's contents, and a Computing Degree may have been a better option for me as it does not revolve around Maths as much as a Computer Science degree.

    After my first semester at the university, I was somewhat happy... but as of recently, everything has gone down hill. I am not fitting in at all, the main reason for this was because I commute to the university every day opposed to living there, and so I don't have a "uni life". I also regret community because I travel a minimum of 5 hours daily, and it's honestly taking a toll on my health physically and mentally.

    Since the new semester began, my time table has been atrocious, every day, I have to set my alarm for 5:50 (leave the house by 6:30) to be in the university by 9:00, and there are huge breaks between lectures (2 days of the week, I have 5 hour gaps between lectures), which is also very bad for me personally as I have noone to speak to and normally sit alone in a computer room (as I am doing now).

    On campus, I have only 1 friend, and on days when he isn't in, I tend to sit alone, I also feel really depressed wishing something could change. I haven't been going to lectures for the past 2 (3rd now) week because I've been feeling extremely depressed and demotivated to go to university.

    Could someone please help me, I am desperately consider dropping out, but I know my dad will be furious at me if I do so... as of recently, I've been leaving the house and going on long journeys to other cities as means to waste time, I know it sounds pathetic, but it's the only thing keeping me out for long enough to make it seem like I'm attending.

    Keep in mind, if I do drop out, I do personally plan on returning to education once I've figured myself out and matured enough to be ready and dedicated enough for university. By then, I will also have a car, so the university I currently go to will only be a 30 minute drive.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    TL;DR: Extremely depressed, commute 5 hours daily, only have a single friend, otherwise I sit alone, time table is extremely bad and I find the course content 5050, but please, read the whole post.
    I also used to live away from campus but my commute was 2-3 hours daily. It is difficult when you live away to get the same university feel but I found it helped to try and make the most of the time I was there. I presume other people are in a similar situation of having long hours between lessons, could you perhaps suggest to some of your class mates going to the pub for a bit? It'd give you a chance to socialise and also kill a bit of the time. If you're a bit nervous, you could suggest it on a day your friend is also in and say that you two were planning to go to X to kill some time between classes, did they fancy coming along too?

    Alternatively, you could use the breaks for study purposes to free up some of the time you have at home. If my friends were away on days I had long breaks, I would make a start on my classwork between the lessons.This helped me keep to deadlines and stopped me from doing work in an evening when I'd be shattered from the early starts and late commutes. I did English Literature so I found the commute great to get a lot of my reading done!
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    (Original post by throwaway9935)
    How are you finding it? What have you done to deal with it, I really want to try, but I feel like it's too late, and I just can't physically do it anymore.
    If I am been honest..nothing. I am on TSR instead of revising for java (which is basically all maths) Sometimes I get angry with myself but then I just have to think about my long time goals "Soon it will be over...". I wan't to be proud of what I have achieved therefore I try and stick at it.

    Email lectures say you're struggling. Most of the time (well mine) are very supportive. I would advise an appointment with careers service or something like that to discuss your options.

    What are your modules + what are you struggling on the most.

    Look at youtube clips too. These help a lot and usually a lot easier to understand. Making friends will be difficult as you're not living at uni. My university is a 30 minute drive from my house...I forced myself to live at uni because I know that's how you make friends etc.
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    If you do drop out, maybe next year live there instead of commuting. Also you don't have to go to the same uni
 
 
 
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