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a bitching question.
the other day, i had a bit of a bitch to my girlfriend's best friend about my girlfriend. i didn't say anything majorly bad, just picked up on the things that annoyed me about her - being late, things like that etc. and the only reason we had the conversation is because we both care about her, not because we want to bitch.
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
You are in the wrong in the sense that you have been a little silly. You should have worked out that the conversation would have got back to her, seeing as she is your girlfriend's best friend, and not yours. So take your punishment like a man and remember to bitch to someone she doesn't know next time.
That's exactly why I don't bitch about people to many others anymore. Through past experience I've learnt that it backfires and that people turn against you. That said, it might take a while but they usually get over it. She will I think. Have you apologised? It is hard for people to accept their flaws, and much easier for others to see them.
It might have been a better idea to bitch to your best friend, not her's...
chewwy
the other day, i had a bit of a bitch to my girlfriend's best friend about my girlfriend. i didn't say anything majorly bad, just picked up on the things that annoyed me about her - being late, things like that etc. and the only reason we had the conversation is because we both care about her, not because we want to bitch.
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
you bitched to ur gfs best friend? thats pretty obviosu no-no. her loyalties lie with her gf, not you.
chewwy
the other day, i had a bit of a bitch to my girlfriend's best friend about my girlfriend. i didn't say anything majorly bad, just picked up on the things that annoyed me about her - being late, things like that etc. and the only reason we had the conversation is because we both care about her, not because we want to bitch.
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
I'm afraid I think you are in the wrong. I'd feel terrible if my boyfriend said things about me to my best friend, even if I knew what he thought already, and I'd probably assume he said things that I didn't know anyway. It seems like a pretty unnecessary thing to do. I find the comment of "we only bitched because we care about her" a little dubious - how does it have anything to do with caring about her? If anything, it indicates the opposite - her best friend is there for her to talk to, not for you to talk about her to. Your girlfriend might always be asking her friend if you've said anything else, now, as well.
Yes, you are in the wrong but I bet everybody has been guilty of a similar thing at some point in their life.
Bitching is tempting because it can allow you to offload on other people about things that annoy you, but the problem is that there is often a tendency for it to turn into a complete bitchfest where every negative aspect of a person's personality is picked up upon and when repeated to the target of the bitching it can often come across as a bit of a character assasination.
In future just be careful who you have similar conversations with and also try and keep them to a minimum. I think it is impossible to not have a good moan every now and again but I doubt that most people would want to hear all the negative things that others have said about them so just keep in mind the potential for things to come back to people for your sakes and theirs.
Bitching is tempting because it can allow you to offload on other people about things that annoy you, but the problem is that there is often a tendency for it to turn into a complete bitchfest where every negative aspect of a person's personality is picked up upon and when repeated to the target of the bitching it can often come across as a bit of a character assasination.
In future just be careful who you have similar conversations with and also try and keep them to a minimum. I think it is impossible to not have a good moan every now and again but I doubt that most people would want to hear all the negative things that others have said about them so just keep in mind the potential for things to come back to people for your sakes and theirs.
What did you think was going to happen?! She's not "twisting the argument", the argument is that you were talking negatively about her behind her back, she found out and was understandably upset. If she does little things to annoy you, you should feel comfortable enough in asking her to stop. Don't be so daft next time.
I would never talk about my partner to their best friend, or anyone else for that matter. If my boyfriend did it to me, I would be incredibly annoyed. If he can say something about me to someone else, then he can say it to my face. Same applies with me, if I have anything to say, i'll sure as hell say it to his face before I say it to someone else.
I don't think it really matters if you have already said those things to her, you are still talking about her behind her back and it's still quite hurtful. You made a mistake, you were in the wrong for various reasons. First mistake was that you talked about her behind her back, you might have had good intentions but that doesn't matter, you still talked about her without her knowledge. Second mistake, you trusted her best friend not to tell her. If you want to avoid hurting someone, or avoid fights, do not speak about them behind their back because nine times out of ten they'll find out.
I do believe that your girlfriend deserves an apology. You might have had her best interests at heart but it's something you speak to her about, if she ignores it at first, try again. It's not something that you have to involve anyone else in. It's incredibly hurtful when someone speaks about you behind your back, no matter what the circumstances are.
I don't think it really matters if you have already said those things to her, you are still talking about her behind her back and it's still quite hurtful. You made a mistake, you were in the wrong for various reasons. First mistake was that you talked about her behind her back, you might have had good intentions but that doesn't matter, you still talked about her without her knowledge. Second mistake, you trusted her best friend not to tell her. If you want to avoid hurting someone, or avoid fights, do not speak about them behind their back because nine times out of ten they'll find out.
I do believe that your girlfriend deserves an apology. You might have had her best interests at heart but it's something you speak to her about, if she ignores it at first, try again. It's not something that you have to involve anyone else in. It's incredibly hurtful when someone speaks about you behind your back, no matter what the circumstances are.
chewwy
the other day, i had a bit of a bitch to my girlfriend's best friend about my girlfriend. i didn't say anything majorly bad, just picked up on the things that annoyed me about her - being late, things like that etc. and the only reason we had the conversation is because we both care about her, not because we want to bitch.
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
now today, my girlfriend found out about mine and her friend's conversation (from the friend). She has now confronted me by text asking why i can't speak to her yet i can speak to her best friend. i then told her that everything i said to her friend, i ahd already said to her (which is true). she then said "fine, but i still think it's a bit low, and pretty pathetic actually, for you to bitch about me behind my back".
now, am i in the wrong here? i feel kind of like she's twisting the argument so that instead of having to talk about her flaws which i talked with her friend about, it's now me who's the one who has to do lots of "yes, i am an awful person, i am so sorry"-ing.
??
Ever heard of loyalty? I would be really annoyed if my boyfriend had a problem with me but decided to go and have a conversation with my best friend that even you have classed as "bitchy." Don't say bolloxs about it being because you "care about her" You were just pissed off. Respect your girlfriend more!
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