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My Boyfriend lost his virginity to another guy Watch

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    • #3
    #3

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    I'm sorry, but I find it funny for some reason...
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    (Original post by BaffledPenguin)
    Are you broken? At what point did the OP mention cheating? Or am I reading a completely different post?
    Nah, he's broken
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    How dare you shame him for his sexual past. He deserves someone who is responsive to her own feelings for him and not judgemental over something entirely reasonable he once did. Buck your ideas up missy, the relationship isn't all about you and what you want your fairytale boyfriend to be.

    I am also bisexual with heavy preference for girls, but I, like him, experimented with male friends when younger partly because, I feel, we had no access to women. It isn't really something women, who are objects of desire from the first, can comprehend, but it's up to you to try.

    You will note that I am now entering my sixth year with my girlfriend.
    How is she shaming him?shes not out there in the real world putting his business out there, she came here looking for advice so shame on you for trying to shame her just because your biased and your views are different. She's allowed to feel some type of way, finding out something like this is a big deal for some people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend lost his virginity to another guy (in gay sex). He said fooled around with 2 guys before (mainly kissing), and with another went all the way and 'bottomed' with another.

    He said he was, as the time, bi-curious, and felt really low as he wasn't having any luck with girls. He felt lonely and unworthy and unattractive to women, as all the girls he liked never felt the same way. He told me that all the while he was curious about guys, and was afraid that those thought would taint any future relationships with women, so he experimented.

    He said he really regrets it and at the time it messed him up. He told me he wishes he waited for a girl (for me), and that he considers himself as mostly straight. He didn't deny having some attractions to guys, but he said he has no desire to be with one, and has no emotional attractions. He says he is attracted to women also. He wants to be with me and told me he loves me. He even said he saw a councillor to work through his regret over it. He says he can't take it back, but he can only learn form the experience. He said it has made him the person he is today and he is more sympathetic to people who struggle with their identity.

    I don't know what to do. I know this isn't normal, but has anyone else experienced the same. He isn't the manliest of guys, but I really like him. I don't know what to do?!?!?

    Also, if it helps, we are both South Asian, born in the UK, in case anyone can relate?!
    As a bisexual that is only romantically attracted to women and a virgin at 20 I can definitely sympathise with your friend. Gay guys are very very easy. And while myself, I don't really want casual sex, it can be tempting at times. Were I one to drink or attend clubs I imagine I would have probably lost my virginity to a man already at this point. It's really easy to get ONS with really hot guys. Girls, not so much, they are more hesitant or generally very strange :P

    And, for the record, I'm pretty macho - you sure wouldn't expect me to get a boner when looking at nude men if you only saw me normally. I so don't have a homosexual voice or gait I do dress quite well though... But I also cage-fight and want to get into bouncing asap, so...

    I don't see what the issue is OP. What do you want to do? He's with you now and he's happy so you don't have to do anything and there is no issue?
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    I would be put off because knowing that he just had sex with guys for the sole fact that he felt he couldn't get a female, that he was willing to go that route because he was so desperate shows his character. No standards, no limits...it's not attractive.


    You like him, give it some time and see if you can get passed it. If he wanted to be with men, he would be with men.
    Except he said that he is no longer like that. It does indicate a shady past, but ultimately she never would have guessed it if he had not been honest with her, so I would imagine he is different now!

    Is it really worse than hiring a prostitute? Way too many guys have terrible-awkward-random sex with only a tangential friend just to lose their V-card, or hire a prostitute, both of which I think is far far worse than having less-awkward-more-enthusiastic same-gender-sex.

    A damn lot of guys were desperate at some point/still are for sex. I really don't think that should put you off that much as it is very common; just most guys probably don't admit it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    As a bi/hetroflex man, I am in a similar position as your boyfriend. To be honest to even have a hint of doubt at your sexuality can be soul destroying - it was almost for me. It's not something you can or will ever understand if you haven't gone through it. For me, I wasn't just questioning my identity, by my personality and religion, my morality etc. It can be easy to think you are less of a person or a 'bad' one. Yes, I had my first experience with a guy, but that doesn't define me and I am now more attracted to women then ever before, and confident in myself. The fact he has come so far and wants to share this with you is a good thing - he obviously told you as he wants you to love him for ALL of what he is, as I am sure he loves ALL of you (pardon the John Legend lyrics). Sharing this side of oneself is extremely difficult for ANY bi person and a sign that they want to commit to you.
    In all honesty, you have every right to panic and feel weird. However, you are mature enough to know that the past is the past. If my girlfriend ended it on that, after all we've been through and how much I love her, it would devastate me. You are more then your sexual past and preference, and so is your boyfriend. If he is into you and monogamous, he wont want to stray.

    Also the fact that he experimented and got it out of his system, AND decided to get help and counselling surely shows you he isn't the type to hide things and pretend nothing is wrong until he implodes - surely that is a positive thing for any long-term relationship!
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    How is that 'not normal' he's clearly bisexual and i don't see the problem. I'm a straight female and my ex was bisexual and i couldn't care less. He barely acted any different than a straight guy would and he's probably the ex i miss the most. honestly don't see what the problem is
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    What do you mean by bottomed as in he was the one being ****ed. So you were the first person he ****ed
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    So what?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ^^^
    Uh... Ethereal World, I think this may be the mother of all anon-fails...
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    (Original post by BaffledPenguin)
    Are you broken? At what point did the OP mention cheating? Or am I reading a completely different post?
    Nope, my body parts work pretty fine. He didn't? I could of misread. If he didn't then sorry for my previous post. I thought he did.

    Still, its not bigotry. It is pretty much normal for a girl to freak out to know her bf had went both ways especially if you're unaware of it. She thought her bf was strictly straight, and turns out he wasn't. That has be a shock for some folk to an extent. Not everyone in that situation would just brush it off and call it a day, lol. Yeah, it was in the past yadda, yadda. It doesn't change the fact it can be shocking.
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    (Original post by Alexion)
    Uh... Ethereal World, I think this may be the mother of all anon-fails...
    I am literally deceased. Fml. How has nobody picked up on this. Dying. :rofl: :rofl:
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I am literally deceased. Fml. How has nobody picked up on this. Dying. :rofl: :rofl:
    ikr :rofl: I'm hoping for the OP to reply to their own post seriously :rofl: omg
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    I really don't understand why this matters... If you are uncomfortable then leave him because he deserves somebody who will respect and love him absolutely and clearly that is not you - whether the reasoning is fair or not.

    Also, though, I am lost as to why a heterosexual would fool around with men for the sake of it because they're sexually deprived. That just makes no sense. Probably where the whole "gay by choice" b.s. comes from.

    Anyway.
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    (Original post by Alexion)
    ikr :rofl: I'm hoping for the OP to reply to their own post seriously :rofl: omg
    So so amazing. I literally am crying. Can't cope with this. :rofl:

    They can't delete it either. !! This is such extreme anon failing.
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    (Original post by McGain)
    Look up the definition of Sexual Intercourse.
    Speak for yourself. The definition speaks about penetrative sex, typically vaginal not solely vaginal.
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    (Original post by ivybridge)
    I really don't understand why this matters... If you are uncomfortable then leave him because he deserves somebody who will respect and love him absolutely and clearly that is not you - whether the reasoning is fair or not.

    Also, though, I am lost as to why a heterosexual would fool around with men for the sake of it because they're sexually deprived. That just makes no sense. Probably where the whole "gay by choice" b.s. comes from.

    Anyway.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend lost his virginity to another guy (in gay sex). He said fooled around with 2 guys before (mainly kissing), and with another went all the way and 'bottomed' with another.He said he was, as the time, bi-curious, and felt really low as he wasn't having any luck with girls. He felt lonely and unworthy and unattractive to women, as all the girls he liked never felt the same way. He told me that all the while he was curious about guys, and was afraid that those thought would taint any future relationships with women, so he experimented.He said he really regrets it and at the time it messed him up. He told me he wishes he waited for a girl (for me), and that he considers himself as mostly straight. He didn't deny having some attractions to guys, but he said he has no desire to be with one, and has no emotional attractions. He says he is attracted to women also. He wants to be with me and told me he loves me. He even said he saw a councillor to work through his regret over it. He says he can't take it back, but he can only learn form the experience. He said it has made him the person he is today and he is more sympathetic to people who struggle with their identity.I don't know what to do. I know this isn't normal, but has anyone else experienced the same. He isn't the manliest of guys, but I really like him. I don't know what to do?!?!?Also, if it helps, we are both South Asian, born in the UK, in case anyone can relate?!

    I guess there is your answer as to why - he was bi-curious.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    So so amazing. I literally am crying. Can't cope with this. :rofl:

    They can't delete it either. !! This is such extreme anon failing.
    I don't know what to believe! That reply was so serious as well :rofl:
    Ugh I just smeared tears on my glasses :unimpressed:
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    (Original post by Nshizzle941)
    I guess there is your answer as to why - he was bi-curious.
    Except they use the lack of female attention as a reason - i.e. b.s. Just my view though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend lost his virginity to another guy (in gay sex). He said fooled around with 2 guys before (mainly kissing), and with another went all the way and 'bottomed' with another.

    He said he was, as the time, bi-curious, and felt really low as he wasn't having any luck with girls. He felt lonely and unworthy and unattractive to women, as all the girls he liked never felt the same way. He told me that all the while he was curious about guys, and was afraid that those thought would taint any future relationships with women, so he experimented.

    He said he really regrets it and at the time it messed him up. He told me he wishes he waited for a girl (for me), and that he considers himself as mostly straight. He didn't deny having some attractions to guys, but he said he has no desire to be with one, and has no emotional attractions. He says he is attracted to women also. He wants to be with me and told me he loves me. He even said he saw a councillor to work through his regret over it. He says he can't take it back, but he can only learn form the experience. He said it has made him the person he is today and he is more sympathetic to people who struggle with their identity.

    I don't know what to do. I know this isn't normal, but has anyone else experienced the same. He isn't the manliest of guys, but I really like him. I don't know what to do?!?!?

    Also, if it helps, we are both South Asian, born in the UK, in case anyone can relate?!
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As a bi/hetroflex man, I am in a similar position as your boyfriend. To be honest to even have a hint of doubt at your sexuality can be soul destroying - it was almost for me. It's not something you can or will ever understand if you haven't gone through it. For me, I wasn't just questioning my identity, by my personality and religion, my morality etc. It can be easy to think you are less of a person or a 'bad' one. Yes, I had my first experience with a guy, but that doesn't define me and I am now more attracted to women then ever before, and confident in myself. The fact he has come so far and wants to share this with you is a good thing - he obviously told you as he wants you to love him for ALL of what he is, as I am sure he loves ALL of you (pardon the John Legend lyrics). Sharing this side of oneself is extremely difficult for ANY bi person and a sign that they want to commit to you.
    In all honesty, you have every right to panic and feel weird. However, you are mature enough to know that the past is the past. If my girlfriend ended it on that, after all we've been through and how much I love her, it would devastate me. You are more then your sexual past and preference, and so is your boyfriend. If he is into you and monogamous, he wont want to stray.

    Also the fact that he experimented and got it out of his system, AND decided to get help and counselling surely shows you he isn't the type to hide things and pretend nothing is wrong until he implodes - surely that is a positive thing for any long-term relationship!
    ^^^

    The biggest anon fail in history. :rofl: :rofl: :toofunny:
 
 
 
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