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Meeting people on apps... Watch

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    First of all i know i'm a horrible person for messaging him and dragging it out...

    I've been talking to a guy for a few months now and he's asked to meet up. The problem is i'm awkward and shy and have a lot of self-conscious issues about how i look, so thinking about meeting up just fills me with dread and nervousness. He's nice, but he only has one picture so that's another reason why i'm hesitant.

    On the other hand i can't really talk, most of my pictures are at good angles with filters and i look **** in real life. Which is another reason i'm scared of meeting, he'll look at me and go 'oh..'

    I knew this would happen so now i don't know what to do. Tell him the truth (although then he'll tell me it'll be fine and he won't mind the awkwardness etc), or make an excuse and just stop talking to him.

    I have met up with someone online before but it was a girl, and i don't know if i'm bisexual or a lesbian but i knew that i wanted to meet them, so that's the reason i kept the app. I didn't intend on talking to guys, but he was easy to talk to so it just continued.

    I like talking to him but i don't think i want to meet him.
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    If you don't want to meet him then don't. You're under no obligation to and you don't really know him - he could be anyone. You do what's right for you, and don't see him if you don't want to.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First of all i know i'm a horrible person for messaging him and dragging it out...

    I've been talking to a guy for a few months now and he's asked to meet up. The problem is i'm awkward and shy and have a lot of self-conscious issues about how i look, so thinking about meeting up just fills me with dread and nervousness. He's nice, but he only has one picture so that's another reason why i'm hesitant.

    On the other hand i can't really talk, most of my pictures are at good angles with filters and i look **** in real life. Which is another reason i'm scared of meeting, he'll look at me and go 'oh..'

    I knew this would happen so now i don't know what to do. Tell him the truth (although then he'll tell me it'll be fine and he won't mind the awkwardness etc), or make an excuse and just stop talking to him.

    I have met up with someone online before but it was a girl, and i don't know if i'm bisexual or a lesbian but i knew that i wanted to meet them, so that's the reason i kept the app. I didn't intend on talking to guys, but he was easy to talk to so it just continued.

    I like talking to him but i don't think i want to meet him.
    He has one picture?? that rings alarm bells.

    We're not in 1999 now love, get him on Skype/Facetime or you'll regret it when you meet, he'll be a fat ugly rapist paedophile serial killer.
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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    We're not in 1999 now love, get him on Skype/Facetime or you'll regret it when you meet, he'll be a fat ugly rapist paedophile serial killer.
    mhm skype first is the way forward
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    Always skype/facetime with someone you've met online before meeting in person.
    Dodgy as **** that he only has one photo of himself.


    And too be frank what you're doing is not okay. You're being dishonest both to others and to yourself by using filters/particular angles to make yourself look different from how you look in real life. you need to learn to accept/love yourself the way you are and dont lie to yourself or others. that kind of dishonesty will only come back to bite you in the ass some day.

    You think it might help give you an ego boost or make you feel better about yourself by not using representative photos, but really you're only making the problem worse by living in a fantasy realm. If you keep it up you'll never be able to meet anyone in real life and will encounter the same problems over and over again; feeling to scared to meet people who will feel misled. It's borderline catfishing.

    Practice taking more representative pictures of yourself, no edits or filters or any of that ********. Look at yourself more often in the mirror and aim to take 3 pictures of yourself a day. Eventually you'll get used to acknowledging how you really look and be one step closer to loving yourself.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by insert-username)
    Always skype/facetime with someone you've met online before meeting in person.
    Dodgy as **** that he only has one photo of himself.


    And too be frank what you're doing is not okay. You're being dishonest both to others and to yourself by using filters/particular angles to make yourself look different from how you look in real life. you need to learn to accept/love yourself the way you are and dont lie to yourself or others. that kind of dishonesty will only come back to bite you in the ass some day.

    You think it might help give you an ego boost or make you feel better about yourself by not using representative photos, but really you're only making the problem worse by living in a fantasy realm. If you keep it up you'll never be able to meet anyone in real life and will encounter the same problems over and over again; feeling to scared to meet people who will feel misled. It's borderline catfishing.

    Practice taking more representative pictures of yourself, no edits or filters or any of that ********. Look at yourself more often in the mirror and aim to take 3 pictures of yourself a day. Eventually you'll get used to acknowledging how you really look and be one step closer to loving yourself.
    Thanks for your reply. I just want to say that my pictures aren't photoshopped, when i say angles and filters i mean in the most limited way possible so you don't even notice the filter, just a softer colouring.
    The pictures are still me and they still look like me, and one is unfiltered and a body shot so they can see me as a whole whereas others are of me over the past few months so they're to date.

    But obviously i'm not going to have unflattering pictures of me on apps, i want them to look nice. For the people i've met in the past i've had them add me on FB or other media so they can see all the unedited tagged photos of me so they know fully how i look, but they still want to meet me and that doesn't affect their decision so when i say 'edited and filtered' the pictures are still obviously me.
 
 
 
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