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Ex-boyfriend making me feel down

I broke up with my ex 4 months ago now after he cheated on me.
Unfortunately we live together in university halls so it's taken me absolutely ages to get over him considering we were only together for 3 months. I forgave him at the time and tried to be friends with him immediately because i thought it would cause the least tension whilst we still live together... in hindsight i caused myself a lot of extra pain trying to be his friend while i still loved him.

When i say i've 'gotten over him' i mean i've got to a point where i now have my own independant life pursuing things that interest me and meeting loads of new people. However, despite being busy and having lots of new friends and interests i still feel attached to him. I still see him everyday in the flat and i suppose we still flirt with each other. What's killing me is that i don't know if he still has feelings for me because i know that i still do for him even after everything he's put me through (bragging about girls interested in him, going out getting drunk and being abusive, admitting he's jealous of my new life)

I just feel really confused. We've only got another month living together and then i'm going to America for the summer... I know deep down he's wrong for me but i still fancy him like mad and miss him a hell of a lot even after 4 months.

I guess i just wanted some general advice from anyone who's been there or who's got any ideas on how to forget about him or even whether i should tell him how i feel???

:frown:

Reply 1

Kanet

If you only have another montht together, i suggest you stick it through and wait to jet off to the states. You will soon forget all about him over there, and when (if) you are returning to Uni the next year i dont suppose you will even see him (depending on how big the uni is and if you share friends).

I wouldnt tell him how you feel, he hurt you and doesn't deserve you to still have feelings for him. Let him be jealous. Live your life the way you want and don't let him stop you from doing it.

Reply 2

username47781

20

How can you fancy a guy like him who abuses you behind your back. Sounds like he did you a favour by dumping him as he sounds like a right bastard.

Stop flirting with him and stop talking to him.

Reply 3

gbduo

15

purple_octopus

I just feel really confused. We've only got another month living together and then i'm going to America for the summer... I know deep down he's wrong for me but i still fancy him like mad and miss him a hell of a lot even after 4 months.

Sorry to go O/T but are you doing Camp America and if so, PM me!!

As for your problem, i am not sure there is much you can do except stick with it, you only have a couple of weeks left and then it is all over. Think about the last day when you can leave him for good, but perhaps also start to become less close to him breaking of the friendship somewhat.

Graham

Reply 4

Cherry Kisses

13

i think you still have feelings for him because of the fact that you are living together so its hard to let go when you are living in each others pockets. Try to get through the coming month by giving each other space and doing lots of things away from each other. I can garantee you that once you leave for America things will get better and you will move on and meet someone else.
Just stick it out and be strong.

by the way, he is probley telling you about girls he meets because he wants to make you jealous

Reply 5

Trigger

18

I agree with most of the posts here, stick it out for the month and then have a whale of a time in the USA. Youl forget all abou thim when you come back and im assuming youre not living with him next year. Hes obviously jealous of the fact youve moved on and you are doing so well. Good for you :smile:

Reply 6

Shmish

~cherrykisses~

by the way, he is probley telling you about girls he meets because he wants to make you jealous

I agree with cherrykisses, guys will either be quite mean to you, or will do/say something to make you jealous if you've broken up. Its kinda like an ego-boost for them to see you hurt by something they've said/done (it's very cruel but people work in odd ways)

I broke up with my bf and we live in the same halls, and it's soooo damn difficult to see them day-in, day-out because seeing him upset and down made me feel even worse than I was already feeling! (we did get back together but our situation is different to yours, we havent done anything behind each others' backs.) If your boyfriend cheated on you once, theres nothing to say he wont do it again. I know everyone has said this already (and it's because it's true!) but wait out this month and then go to America. Everything will somehow fall into place when you're out there. I went to Gambia last year. I was suffering from mild depression due to a nasty argument I had with someone who I really liked and everything had just turned sour, and I came back 2 weeks later sooooo much happier and with my depression almost gone. So things DO work out in the end. :smile:

Do Wat Ya Want

ploppy

Do Wat Ya Want

My, you are helpful.

My advice to you is the same as everyone else has said, just stick it out for a month and enjoy your time in America. Have fun there btw!

Reply 9

purple_octopus

OP

Thanks for all the helpful replies, i do know deep down that waiting out the month is the best thing to do... it's just painful when i get nostalgic about the good times or when i get jealous of him or the girls he's hanging out with :frown:

Sounds pathetic i know but it's intensified when you live with someone you once cared about.
Anyway going to look forward not back now!

Reply 10

greeneggs

10

They are all ******s.
Pretend he means nothing to you at all costs. Don't let him feel he has "the power". People of the male variety should all be shot.

kisskiss,
E.

Reply 11

username47781

20

emmajcunningham

They are all ******s.
Pretend he means nothing to you at all costs. Don't let him feel he has "the power". People of the male variety should all be shot.

kisskiss,
E.

Not all of us guys are ******s, but yes I would completely ignore him and imagine he doesn't exist.

Ex-boyfriend making me feel down

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