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Review my book pls? watch

    • Aston Villa FC Supporter
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    Aston Villa FC Supporter
    (Original post by LogicalFallacy)
    Good start so far, however you have overused small in the start. You have also made several punctuation errors, and repeated "The first test". There is a spelling mistake with 'once' where you put 'one'. Multiple verbs are used too many times. You repeated but ("But, but". I don't know if this was on purpose, but you forgot a capital letter in the first entry. There is an awfully large amount of speech, which should be mixed in with descriptions to make it more gripping to read. A capital letter is forgotten at "Tachyons are particles".

    Other than that, I enjoyed it.

    ill read it when i get the time, ill tell you what i think of it then
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