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Anyone else had a disappointing student social life? Watch

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    I'm not actually at uni, I'm at college, so I guess I was already at a disadvantage due to lack of societies and the fact that college students seem more interested in getting qualifications than making friends. I have been staying at student halls though; first year I was in the college's own halls, and second year I'm now in a private halls. Both years have been disappointing though; hardly any parties happening, and I've not really found anyone I've clicked with or that has been interested in going on nights out or anything with me. I have three flatmates and we'll make small talk in the kitchen, but they all just spend all their time studying or occasionally hanging out with their uni mates (they're all at different unis). None of them like going to clubs and bars really like I do.

    I've been relying mostly on my non-student boyfriend for a social life (he seems to be the only person in the world that cares enough about me to do anything with me, ha), and also meeting people on the Internet and occasionally people I've met at music festivals and in nightclubs. I also sometimes visit my sisters at uni, who seem to have better social lives than me and I have good fun with them and their friends. I dunno if it's something to do with me or if I'm just unlucky, but I did find it much easier to have a social life when I went backpacking in Australia a few years ago, and I really miss it. Being a full time student means I can't afford anything like that in the immediate future, which sucks.

    I've applied to go to uni next year to top up my HND to a degree, but I'm put off by the fact that I might have a crap social life again and I'd be sacrificing a full time wage for it, so I'm having second thoughts about that. I think I might prefer working and going on more travelling and saving up for other stuff, whilst I'll still always have my boyfriend for a social life too (I'm going to start living with him later this year). I'll see how I feel in the summer though after I've finished college.

    Just wondering if anyone else feels the same, or has advice, etc? Thanks.
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    I have a better social life at work than I did at University.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I have a better social life at work than I did at University.
    Good to know, thanks :yy:. Hopefully I will too :yep:

    (Original post by jackdaw98)
    just kidding took me e^(-i*pi) times get on my level noob
    I'm not sure what you're on about.
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    I've had a disappointing s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ life.
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    I've had a disappointing s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ life.
    ditto
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    I think all the hype often leads to disappointment.


    The harsh realities of life.

    - Making friends can be difficult.
    - People are often not outgoing at all.
    - Not many people will make the effort to get to know you.


    Just remember this is common.
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    Rough times, unfortunately when you get put with shite flatmates it can put a downer on the whole thing.

    Don't be downhearted about Uni though, Uni and College are worlds apart, University will force people into social situations whether they like it or not, only if you're the most determined hermit will you not make any friends. And I'm sure you're not Gollum. Also, Uni is 3+ years generally, and a lot of people go on to have meh first years and great second and third years. This is particularly true for courses where the first year is the same for certain academic schools before it's split by subject in the second year. So even if you have a mediocre first year (Which I'm sure you won't), remember the remaining years. There have been so many threads of people here saying "You find your true friend groups in the second year" and I'm sure it's not just meaningless rhetoric.

    :yy:
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    I've had a disappointing s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ life.
    Same for me tbh, bar meeting my boyfriend (I dunno what I'd do without him) and a few other things. Finding people to date/kiss/shag is probably easier in your twenties than finding an actual friend, I'm finding. Sad.

    (Original post by stefano865)
    I think all the hype often leads to disappointment.


    The harsh realities of life.

    - Making friends can be difficult.
    - People are often not outgoing at all.
    - Not many people will make the effort to get to know you.


    Just remember this is common.
    Yep, totally agree. Been slowly lowering my hopes because of this. Oh well.

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Rough times, unfortunately when you get put with shite flatmates it can put a downer on the whole thing.

    Don't be downhearted about Uni though, Uni and College are worlds apart, University will force people into social situations whether they like it or not, only if you're the most determined hermit will you not make any friends. And I'm sure you're not Gollum. Also, Uni is 3+ years generally, and a lot of people go on to have meh first years and great second and third years. This is particularly true for courses where the first year is the same for certain academic schools before it's split by subject in the second year. So even if you have a mediocre first year (Which I'm sure you won't), remember the remaining years. There have been so many threads of people here saying "You find your true friend groups in the second year" and I'm sure it's not just meaningless rhetoric.

    :yy:
    Thanks for your post, it gives me a wee bit of hope :yy:. I'll not withdraw my uni applications for now, I'll just see how I feel in the summer after finishing my college course before I make a final decision about my next step
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Same for me tbh, bar meeting my boyfriend (I dunno what I'd do without him) and a few other things. Finding people to date/kiss/shag is probably easier in your twenties than finding an actual friend, I'm finding. Sad.



    Yep, totally agree. Been slowly lowering my hopes because of this. Oh well.



    Thanks for your post, it gives me a wee bit of hope :yy:. I'll not withdraw my uni applications for now, I'll just see how I feel in the summer after finishing my college course before I make a final decision about my next step


    It isn't like in the movies.

    Sadly.
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    My parents have a better social life than I do at University
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I have a better social life at work than I did at University.
    Then you werent doing it right at uni.
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    It's sad that you are feeling alone. Tbh if your house mates are studying there is nothing wrong with that... kinda why they are there..

    On a different note, what kind of things have you done to make friends? I saw you liked music, do you play any instruments / get in a band / volunteer to steward music festivals (near you)/ Volunteer / sport / clubs / shared interests is a great way to meet people. Friendships don't just happen but take work and a lot of putting yourself out there - which can be scarey and intimidating but you can do it
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    I have no social life at college no time to socialise

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    (Original post by Diabolus)
    Then you werent doing it right at uni.
    Nah I went to the wrong Uni, their societies were poor.
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    (Original post by StudentMature)
    It's sad that you are feeling alone. Tbh if your house mates are studying there is nothing wrong with that... kinda why they are there..

    On a different note, what kind of things have you done to make friends? I saw you liked music, do you play any instruments / get in a band / volunteer to steward music festivals (near you)/ Volunteer / sport / clubs / shared interests is a great way to meet people. Friendships don't just happen but take work and a lot of putting yourself out there - which can be scarey and intimidating but you can do it
    Yeah, I can't knock them for studying, lol. I'm not the type to go out every night myself, maybe at least once a fortnight or something, but they're not even interested in going out at all. I've had a friend round before (non-student, met her on the Internet and lives an hour away from me) and she even said to me that my flatmates seem boring, lol.

    I've done loads of things to try and make friends. I volunteer at a community garden for my Duke of Edinburgh Award, but it's mostly older people there, and the couple of young people that were there said they weren't interested in nights out, so I didn't have much in common with them. My DofE expedition group was nice, but I couldn't get anyone to hang out with me outside of it as they were only interested in getting their award. I also go to a dance class for DofE but it's a huge class where everyone just goes to learn dancing really and I dunno where to start with making anyone a friend there. That's the problem with these groups/clubs/classes; I think many people only go to them to learn skills rather than make friends. I've never found one so far where people were itching for friends.

    I've volunteered at a music festival last year and made a bunch of friends who I've added on Facebook. Only met up once again with two of them who invited me to their house party, and that was nice . I should probably start talking to them again a bit more tbh. I plan on going to the same festival again this year as well as considering others .

    I guess my problem is, it's easy enough to meet people, but to turn it into friendship is very difficult due to a number of factors. I still hold on to a lil bit of hope though. I was thinking of joining a society in of the the unis in my city, which I found out lets anyone join even if they're not a student there, but I'm pretty shy incase it doesn't work again cos they all might be close-knit already or I might just not fit in .
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    Does being the only one in your friendship group who didn't have success with dating count?
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I'm not actually at uni, I'm at college, so I guess I was already at a disadvantage due to lack of societies and the fact that college students seem more interested in getting qualifications than making friends. I have been staying at student halls though; first year I was in the college's own halls, and second year I'm now in a private halls. Both years have been disappointing though; hardly any parties happening, and I've not really found anyone I've clicked with or that has been interested in going on nights out or anything with me. I have three flatmates and we'll make small talk in the kitchen, but they all just spend all their time studying or occasionally hanging out with their uni mates (they're all at different unis). None of them like going to clubs and bars really like I do.

    I've been relying mostly on my non-student boyfriend for a social life (he seems to be the only person in the world that cares enough about me to do anything with me, ha), and also meeting people on the Internet and occasionally people I've met at music festivals and in nightclubs. I also sometimes visit my sisters at uni, who seem to have better social lives than me and I have good fun with them and their friends. I dunno if it's something to do with me or if I'm just unlucky, but I did find it much easier to have a social life when I went backpacking in Australia a few years ago, and I really miss it. Being a full time student means I can't afford anything like that in the immediate future, which sucks.

    I've applied to go to uni next year to top up my HND to a degree, but I'm put off by the fact that I might have a crap social life again and I'd be sacrificing a full time wage for it, so I'm having second thoughts about that. I think I might prefer working and going on more travelling and saving up for other stuff, whilst I'll still always have my boyfriend for a social life too (I'm going to start living with him later this year). I'll see how I feel in the summer though after I've finished college.

    Just wondering if anyone else feels the same, or has advice, etc? Thanks.
    Which unis are you applying to? I think most old/large unis have many societies and events to keep you engaged. But based on past students' experiences, some unis have bad social reputation (looking at you, Imperial and St. Andrews).
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    I've had a disappointing s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ life.
    Is that the reason why you decided to make another life?
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    (Original post by Mr Smurf)
    Does being the only one in your friendship group who didn't have success with dating count?
    Not necessarily - you can have a good social life with friends without doing much dating, I guess.

    (Original post by Juichiro)
    Which unis are you applying to? I think most old/large unis have many societies and events to keep you engaged. But based on past students' experiences, some unis have bad social reputation (looking at you, Imperial and St. Andrews).
    Uni of Edinburgh, Heriot-Watt, Edinburgh Napier and Queen Margaret, and no offers yet. I just applied for ones all in the same city because I want to stay local and near my boyfriend. I don't think I'm likely to get into the former two unis tbh, but I just applied anyway just to see if I could. That said, Uni of Ed is the one I was talking about in an earlier post that has societies you can join without being a student there, so I could get involved with it that way anyway.
 
 
 
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