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Frustration at friend getting a uni offer, any advice? Watch

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    I know I shouldn't be bitter about this but hear me out. I have worked really hard during my as levels and so far during my a levels; last year I got B in history, A in maths and economics and the admittedly not so good D in biology. I have applied to my 5 unis to study history, my favourite subject since forever and have received 5 offers. Particuarly good, I received a reduced conditional offer from my favourite uni, Southampton, and an unconditional from Nottingham. Having worked hard and acheived these results I'm sure you can imagine my intense irritationwhen a friend of mine also received the exact same offer from Southampton, with grades at AS of BCUU. Not only that but he applied at literally the last minute and is lazy, rarely punctual, often absent from lessons and honestly doesnt give a ____ about his future. He couldnt even remember which unis he'd applied for, that's how little he cares. He's doing a 6o cred BTEC i think so he'd only have 2 alevels at the end, but they didnt mindat all. He's received the exact same offer from Southampton as me. How could a russel group university give such an offer to such an awful prospective student? Am i just bitter and jealous for even writing this? Feel free to slate me if you wish. It's just seriously knocked my confidence and motivation to get top grades when someone else can aslo go to a top uni yet do the minimum work possible. Any advice on how to respond to this would be brilliant, thank you for taking the time to read this
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    (Original post by Michaelw76)
    I know I shouldn't be bitter about this but hear me out. I have worked really hard during my as levels and so far during my a levels; last year I got A in history, B in maths and economics and the admittedly not so good E in biology. I have applied to my 5 unis to study history, my favourite subject since forever and have received 5 offers. Particuarly good, I received a reduced conditional offer from my favourite uni, Southampton, and an unconditional from Birmingham. Having worked hard and acheived these results I'm sure you can imagine my intense irritationwhen a friend of mine also received the exact same offer from Southampton, with grades at AS of CCEU. Not only that but he applied at literally the last minute and is lazy, rarely punctual, often absent from lessons and honestly doesnt give a ____ about his future. He couldnt even remember which unis he'd applied for, that's how little he cares. He's doing a 6o cred BTEC i think so he'd only have 2 alevels at the end, but they didnt mindat all. He's received the exact same offer from Southampton as me. How could a russel group university give such an offer to such an awful prospective student? Am i just bitter and jealous for even writing this? Feel free to slate me if you wish. It's just seriously knocked my confidence and motivation to get top grades when someone else can aslo go to a top uni yet do the minimum work possible. Any advice on how to respond to this would be brilliant, thank you for taking the time to read this
    He has a conditional offer. So he has to meet the conditions to be accepted. If he's as bad as you say, he won't do any work and won't get the grades. If he does get the grades and meet the offer, he has shown he's good enough to go there.
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    Have you both applied to the same course? Some unis will give offers to pretty much anyone if their courses are under subscribed because they want their places filled, but ultimately he does have to get the same grades that you do to get into the uni
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    you are very bitter, it's not good for you. mind your own business and focus on getting your A-level grades.
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    Seriously?
    Just concentrate and get in to Southampton, forget about others.
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    you should change your mindset and be careful not to slack off, because you never know - it may be him that meets the grade requirements and not you
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    Don't waste your energy on other people. They do not affect you and your journey.
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    I can fully understand why you're annoyed about that. I think I probably would be too.

    Like someone else has said, did you apply to the same course?

    Someone else has also mentioned that if it's a conditional offer he has to meet the conditions. Generally yes, but I think more and more university let people in that (narrowly) missed their offers. I think that's mainly due to the fact that the course is under subscribed and they really want the money from the students.

    There has been a debate going on whether predicated grades should be scrapped. I think it'd be best if universities looked at the AS-level grades and made up their own mind.
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    It will drive you crazy if you keep thinking about others. Bitterness is not a nice thing.
    But then again maybe turn your frustration into motivation to do amazingly well?
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    Most people are happy for friends achievements, don't be that toxic friend. You need to move on, or that kind of thinking will end up being your downfall at higher education level, where many get high grades but go to minimal lectures. Be happy for your friend, be a friend , focus on your studies.

    Happiness comes from being content in yourself and positive for others. As a PhD student myself, with many years in industry and education, being humble and kind / supportive to others is one of the most important aspects of academia. Leave the ego at the door.
 
 
 
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