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    Would you allow your girl to go clubbing with her friends even though she's likely to get hit on by guys and has recently been raped by a close male friend?
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    "Allow" her? She can do whatever she wants. She's been raped but clearly thinks going out with her friends isn't a risk - who are you to "disallow" that. She's her own person and if she wants to she can.
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    ^ Agreed.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    "Allow" her? She can do whatever she wants. She's been raped but clearly thinks going out with her friends isn't a risk - who are you to "disallow" that. She's her own person and if she wants to she can.
    Yeah, but I am coming from a carrying side, not trying to restrict her just scared for her. She hasn't got back to herself...but maybe clubbing and having a girls night out will help
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    yikes


    if she wanted to do things i wasn't okay with her doing then we probably shouldn't be together anyway


    but at the same time, i dislike this defensive "what do you mean "allow" her you have no say in her life " narrative by some people. just seems a bit immature.
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    (Original post by walking in glass)
    yikes


    if she wanted to do things i wasn't okay with her doing then we probably shouldn't be together anyway


    but at the same time, i dislike this defensive "what do you mean "allow" her you have no say in her life " narrative by some people. just seems a bit immature.
    why? I don't think you'd hear a girl speak in the same way about a bloke? The problem is people who ignore this shhite which makes it necessary for others to point out.
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    I would have absolutely no control over what she does and rightly so, you're her partner not her carer. If you're worried about her getting off with someone else then you shouldn't be in a relationship with her without that essential trust and respect between partners. If you're concerned about her getting hurt again then I can understand but as long as she has reported it, has spoken to the appropriate people about getting past it and feels that she is ready to get back into a normal, happy life then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    why? I don't think you'd hear a girl speak in the same way about a bloke?
    of course you would. there are many things my gf wouldn't want me to do (/let me do), and i would ask her permission for certain things also. why is this inherently a bad thing?
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    (Original post by walking in glass)
    yikes


    if she wanted to do things i wasn't okay with her doing then we probably shouldn't be together anyway


    but at the same time, i dislike this defensive "what do you mean "allow" her you have no say in her life " narrative by some people. just seems a bit immature.
    No need to be passive aggressive I didn't mean he has no say in her life. What I meant is that he has no right to forbid her from going out with her friends, and that at the end of the day if she wants to see her friends and have a girls night then she can. It's not immature, it's respectful to let people go out with their friends. He's her boyfriend, not her jailer.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, but I am coming from a carrying side, not trying to restrict her just scared for her. She hasn't got back to herself...but maybe clubbing and having a girls night out will help
    I know you care about her, but if she feels ready to go out with her friends that's her choice. Keeping her inside because you're scared for her won't help in the long run - it will just make her feel like she needs to be afraid every time she goes out. You need to empower her and get her confidence back, and going out with her friends will help her with this.
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    (Original post by walking in glass)
    of course you would. there are many things my gf wouldn't want me to do (/let me do), and i would ask her permission for certain things also. why is this inherently a bad thing?
    there's a difference between 'allowing' and advising ?? I know they're just words, but I think the difference is pretty big? Maybe I'm being too general but I certainly would not say to my bf 'you're not allowed to go out because you'll probably get hit on and you were recently raped'. I'd express my concern and tell them I think it would be a bad idea and that I would be really uncomfortable with it, and I don't think it's safe whateverrrrrr but they can still make up their own mind

    you see the difference?

    *sigh* maybe not whatever Im tired
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    there's a difference between 'allowing' and advising ?? I know they're just words, but I think the difference is pretty big? Maybe I'm being too general but I certainly would not say to my bf 'you're not allowed to go out because you'll probably get hit on and you were recently raped'. I'd express my concern and tell them I think it would be a bad idea and that I would be really uncomfortable with it, and I don't think it's safe whateverrrrrr but they can still make up their own mind

    you see the difference?
    in reality the lines are more blurred


    i.e. "i dont want you to do that" is something that can be a perfectly understandable/reasonable thing to say. if one wishes to convey that in a less forceful way they could advise that i dont do that, but in the context of a relationship, breaching that is doing something your partner is clearly not okay with so it's not something that happens very often
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you allow your girl to go clubbing with her friends even though she's likely to get hit on by guys and has recently been raped by a close male friend?
    yes i would then invite this guy around for some punishment
    you know break some bones, knock a few teeth out then dissolve the corpse in acid and pour it into a sewer make sure you have all the teeth when you add the acid that critical evidence against you or replace the last step with a vehicle and some petrol or napalm
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    (Original post by jamesthehustler)
    yes i would then invite this guy around for some punishment
    you know break some bones, knock a few teeth out then dissolve the corpse in acid and pour it into a sewer make sure you have all the teeth when you add the acid that critical evidence against you or replace the last step with a vehicle and some petrol or napalm
    this. whats a girls night out without a bit of banter?
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    (Original post by jamiehiston)
    this. whats a girls night out without a bit of banter?
    exactly i mean you can get acid online with out to many questions just work slowly and build up gradually as that efficient for corpse disposal
    the second way is little more novice but it does the job but there still enough evidence to secure a conviction if it is extinguished before it finishes
    the third method requires a speedboat, a coffin, a concrete mixer and some concrete and lastly a deep area of sea at least 20 miles off the coast and a kilometer deep
 
 
 
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