Feel hopelessly lonely at uni

This is a long post so I'm reallly sorry but if you can be bothered to read all of it and give me some advice I would really appreciate it. I feel so down at the moment.

So I moved to a london uni, won't say which one, from quite a distance away (Im from the east midlands) in Sept. Its now feb and although i've made a few friends, I haven't made any close friends yet and I feel very lonely

The thing is, the uni is quite a good uni and I am also studying medicine, which naturally attracts the academic kids. I took a gap year, and although thrilled when I got my offer after sooo long, started doubting whether I would fit in and would enjoy it. I assumed most the other students would be from very academic wealthy backgrounds, which I am not, I wouldn't be able to connect with them. Not just on my course, but generally across the uni. of course I haven't talked to every single student, but the majority I have, I hate to say, seem to be exactly that. I'm not from the ghetto by any means but I am not from a wealthy background and my close mates at home are not overly studious etc. I'm just finding it very difficult to connect with anyone on my course other than on a superficial level.

Unlike some people, I was going to uni alone, none of my close mates or even people I knew were going to a london uni.

When travelling to uni on the first day, I could already feel the lonlineless kick in and for the first hour or so I HATED IT. Luckily (or unluckily, as you'll find out later) I met some guy and a girl (his best mate) outside my accomodation who I forced myself to talk to, because at the end of the day I had to try and meet people somehow.

I got along with them, went out with them that night with some others and became close friends with them and their group. I actually end up dating this girl for about 5 weeks.

Unfortuantely, it didnt work out with her, and naturally I was kind of "excluded" from the group as it was her friends, not mine, who made up majority of this new group of friends I made.

It didn't end aggressively or angrily between us, in fact it was quite nice and affectionate, although I was very sad about it. She insisted we stay friends and I still go out with her and her friends and stay apart of the group., which at the time was pretty much the only people I knew in London or at uni.

I already booked a ticket for one night out before the break up which were all going to. This night out was a few weeks after the break up.

The weeks leading up to the event I tried to stay in contact with her, but closer to the event she seeemed to become colder and more detached - eventually completely ignoring my messages. On the actual night, all her friends ignored me when I asked about plans for the night. She said she wasn't going to go buecause she didnt' feel up to it. Luckily, one of the few people on my course that I made somewhat of a decent friendship with were going to, so I went with them, although a bit hurt, confused and angry at the situation.

Here's where the **** really hits the fan.

After an hour or so, I find this other group of friends, who ignored me, there too, which I expected but also I see my ex girl there too. I felt kinda hurt she lied to me, and that everyone ignored me and excluded me from the group. I knew that although she said stay friends with her and them, it would be a bit weird and that night proved it. They all "kicked me out" the group so she could go with them instead. (it hurts even writing about this, even though it happened a few months ago now) but after all they are her friends first, not mine.

Then I see her with a guy, a guy who was also apart of that group, who she was dancing with, holding hands etc. It killed me inside. It ****ing killed me. I was so so so MAD. I never felt so angry mad betrayed hurt in my life. The fact I drank too didn't help. To make matters worse, this guy, who I met maybe twice, was taunting me for no reason. Smirking at me, trying to be "seen" with her in front of me etc. I was SO MAD. I'm quite a built guy, very strong and he isnt. If i wanted to, I could have wiped the floor with him. Completely ****ed him up. Everyone fibre of me wanted to and know i could have. but i couldnt risk losing a place on my medical course for it, as if it was reported to the uni I would be for sure kicked off the course.

The day after she called me and talked to me about it. I found out she literally went out with him a day after ending it with me. of course, it made it hurt more.

I said i didnt want to speak to her anymore and to delete my number

i see her and some of the friends around and recently she's been trying to contact me and asked me to go out with them on a night out (the guy apparently lives quite far away and rarely goes out with them etc)

I really wanted to, because I still feel lonely, but I just hate her now. I can't stand her or look at her or smile at her in person. Although i miss her. I feel pathetic. I know she doesnt hate me but then again she has no reason to. she also knows how I felt about uni and feeling lonely etc. But by going out with them I would feel a bit pathetic, and a bit out of place. Also, she always looked so good on nights out and I we were always so "couple like" on nights out if you know what I mean. so it would be weird and I feel like it would bring the good memories rushing back, which would hurt a lot.

but bascially, because of this whole thing, i feel sad, angry, lonely and don't feel like I can really trust new people because how i was just ejected from the group like that. I have given up trying to meet new people and new friends because I don't want to feel rejected again. I feel pathetic.

I dont know if should meet her again and her friends and try to heal some wounds or if it would just make everything worse. but they are the only people who are sort of familiar and im craving some friends and not unfamiliar people who i have to make an effort with to make friends with at the moment. but another part of me says she hurt me so much i should let them all go completely and move on and meet new people, even if i have to stay lonely for however long until then.

I just feel so sad, hurt, angry, lethargic anti social at the moment, which makes it hard to make new friends

any advice, if u read this far??

thank you so much

This is a long post so I'm reallly sorry but if you can be bothered to read all of it and give me some advice I would really appreciate it. I feel so down at the moment.

So I moved to a london uni, won't say which one, from quite a distance away (Im from the east midlands) in Sept. Its now feb and although i've made a few friends, I haven't made any close friends yet and I feel very lonely

The thing is, the uni is quite a good uni and I am also studying medicine, which naturally attracts the academic kids. I took a gap year, and although thrilled when I got my offer after sooo long, started doubting whether I would fit in and would enjoy it. I assumed most the other students would be from very academic wealthy backgrounds, which I am not, I wouldn't be able to connect with them. Not just on my course, but generally across the uni. of course I haven't talked to every single student, but the majority I have, I hate to say, seem to be exactly that. I'm not from the ghetto by any means but I am not from a wealthy background and my close mates at home are not overly studious etc. I'm just finding it very difficult to connect with anyone on my course other than on a superficial level.

Unlike some people, I was going to uni alone, none of my close mates or even people I knew were going to a london uni.

When travelling to uni on the first day, I could already feel the lonlineless kick in and for the first hour or so I HATED IT. Luckily (or unluckily, as you'll find out later) I met some guy and a girl (his best mate) outside my accomodation who I forced myself to talk to, because at the end of the day I had to try and meet people somehow.

I got along with them, went out with them that night with some others and became close friends with them and their group. I actually end up dating this girl for about 5 weeks.

Unfortuantely, it didnt work out with her, and naturally I was kind of "excluded" from the group as it was her friends, not mine, who made up majority of this new group of friends I made.

It didn't end aggressively or angrily between us, in fact it was quite nice and affectionate, although I was very sad about it. She insisted we stay friends and I still go out with her and her friends and stay apart of the group., which at the time was pretty much the only people I knew in London or at uni.

I already booked a ticket for one night out before the break up which were all going to. This night out was a few weeks after the break up.

The weeks leading up to the event I tried to stay in contact with her, but closer to the event she seeemed to become colder and more detached - eventually completely ignoring my messages. On the actual night, all her friends ignored me when I asked about plans for the night. She said she wasn't going to go buecause she didnt' feel up to it. Luckily, one of the few people on my course that I made somewhat of a decent friendship with were going to, so I went with them, although a bit hurt, confused and angry at the situation.

Here's where the **** really hits the fan.

After an hour or so, I find this other group of friends, who ignored me, there too, which I expected but also I see my ex girl there too. I felt kinda hurt she lied to me, and that everyone ignored me and excluded me from the group. I knew that although she said stay friends with her and them, it would be a bit weird and that night proved it. They all "kicked me out" the group so she could go with them instead. (it hurts even writing about this, even though it happened a few months ago now) but after all they are her friends first, not mine.

Then I see her with a guy, a guy who was also apart of that group, who she was dancing with, holding hands etc. It killed me inside. It ****ing killed me. I was so so so MAD. I never felt so angry mad betrayed hurt in my life. The fact I drank too didn't help. To make matters worse, this guy, who I met maybe twice, was taunting me for no reason. Smirking at me, trying to be "seen" with her in front of me etc. I was SO MAD. I'm quite a built guy, very strong and he isnt. If i wanted to, I could have wiped the floor with him. Completely ****ed him up. Everyone fibre of me wanted to and know i could have. but i couldnt risk losing a place on my medical course for it, as if it was reported to the uni I would be for sure kicked off the course.

The day after she called me and talked to me about it. I found out she literally went out with him a day after ending it with me. of course, it made it hurt more.

I said i didnt want to speak to her anymore and to delete my number

i see her and some of the friends around and recently she's been trying to contact me and asked me to go out with them on a night out (the guy apparently lives quite far away and rarely goes out with them etc)

I really wanted to, because I still feel lonely, but I just hate her now. I can't stand her or look at her or smile at her in person. Although i miss her. I feel pathetic. I know she doesnt hate me but then again she has no reason to. she also knows how I felt about uni and feeling lonely etc. But by going out with them I would feel a bit pathetic, and a bit out of place. Also, she always looked so good on nights out and I we were always so "couple like" on nights out if you know what I mean. so it would be weird and I feel like it would bring the good memories rushing back, which would hurt a lot.

but bascially, because of this whole thing, i feel sad, angry, lonely and don't feel like I can really trust new people because how i was just ejected from the group like that. I have given up trying to meet new people and new friends because I don't want to feel rejected again. I feel pathetic.

I dont know if should meet her again and her friends and try to heal some wounds or if it would just make everything worse. but they are the only people who are sort of familiar and im craving some friends and not unfamiliar people who i have to make an effort with to make friends with at the moment. but another part of me says she hurt me so much i should let them all go completely and move on and meet new people, even if i have to stay lonely for however long until then.

I just feel so sad, hurt, angry, lethargic anti social at the moment, which makes it hard to make new friends

any advice, if u read this far??

thank you so much