Boyfriend is upset over food/cooking.

We both work full time at the moment and after work he goes playing golf (4 times a week) and I'l go to the gym (i lift) about 5 times. It causes arguments as he says that he slways ends up wasting money in takeaways when someone should be cooking. I make food the night before to take with me for lunch and after the gym and have told him to do the same but he said he wants 'proper cooked meals' like 'normal' couples have but by the time i get home theres not much time i just find it easier to take food with me. He sometimes cooks himself but says its a waste just for one.

Its led to lots of arguments not sure what to do.

Reply 1

donutaud15

22

Tell him to make dinner for both of you if he wants home cooked meals. Or work out a rota when he and you can cook.

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Reply 2

Lucarious30

17

Original post by Anonymous

We both work full time at the moment and after work he goes playing golf (4 times a week) and I'l go to the gym (i lift) about 5 times. It causes arguments as he says that he slways ends up wasting money in takeaways when someone should be cooking. I make food the night before to take with me for lunch and after the gym and have told him to do the same but he said he wants 'proper cooked meals' like 'normal' couples have but by the time i get home theres not much time i just find it easier to take food with me. He sometimes cooks himself but says its a waste just for one.

Its led to lots of arguments not sure what to do.

If he's complaining about it he should be the one to make the effort, you could work together to make a meal together, but no use him giving you demands.

Reply 3

SophieSmall

21

if he is complaining that you're not cooking for him I would agree is a but out of line, outdated and sexist (if he is complaining on the grounds of you being the woman and so should cook for him). And regardless of whether he is complaining whether because he thinks the woman should cook or he just wants someone to cook for him he needs to stop being so lazy and cook for himself if he is so bothered.

However if he is upset that you two never cook and eat meals together then I can understand that as maybe he just wishes sometimes you'd just spend more time together and eat a meal together.

If the former is the case tell him to get a grip and cook for himself, if the latter is the case then you both need to make an effort to spend more time cooking at eating together.

Either way you need to communicate with each other and try not to get defensive and listen to the others point of view, otherwise it's just going to lead to countless arguments and will never be resolved.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

stochasticking

14

He needs to learn to cook and make an effort. Sounds like a baby lol

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by SophieSmall

if he is complaining that you're not cooking for him I would agree is a but out of line, outdated and sexist (if he is complaining on the grounds of you being the woman and so should cook for him). And regardless of whether he is complaining whether because he thinks the woman should cook or he just wants someone to cook for him he needs to stop being so lazy and cook for himself if he is so bothered.

However if he is upset that you two never cook and eat meals together then I can understand that as maybe he just wishes sometimes you'd just spend more time together and eat a meal together.

If the former is the case tell him to get a grip and cook for himself, if the latter is the case then you both need to make an effort to spend more time cooking at eating together.

Either way you need to communicate with each other and try not to get defensive and listen to the others point of view, otherwise it's just going to lead to countless arguments and will never be resolved.

He is complaining about all those things really we should spend more time together. We have the weekend together though he likes to see his mates etc. I dont really have mates to see lol so im free, we usually have saturdays together, i dont know i just feel its lots of arguing over nothing.

Reply 6

Angry Bird

18

Original post by Anonymous

That would mean i both work and cook whereas he just works. I cant cook anyway he's better at it than me its one of his talents.

he works and doesn't he pay for everything?

Reply 7

SophieSmall

21

Original post by Anonymous

He is complaining about all those things really we should spend more time together. We have the weekend together though he likes to see his mates etc. I dont really have mates to see lol so im free, we usually have saturdays together, i dont know i just feel its lots of arguing over nothing.

Well you two need to talk about it and come to some sort of compromise, it's unfair for you to take all the flak the same as it would be unfair for him to take all the flak. So you need to come to some sort of solution.

Reply 8

donutaud15

22

Original post by SAhm95

he works and doesn't he pay for everything?

Take it you can read? OP said she's working. That normally means contributing to the household and therefore he doesn't pay for everything.

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Reply 9

username47781

20

He needs to put more effort in, you can't do everything for him. He sounds like he has had his parents do everything for him. If he refuses to change I'd consider looking for a new boyfriend.

Reply 10

ikkie

nothing new in this case...:P
It happens many time...dont cook next time that my suggestion to you. It will help to heal.
Let him do some work for you now.

Reply 11

Angry Bird

18

Original post by donutaud15

Take it you can read? OP said she's working. That normally means contributing to the household and therefore he doesn't pay for everything.

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yeah working means you can't cook right? nice reporting my post btw.

Reply 12

kka25

18

Original post by Anonymous

He is complaining about all those things really we should spend more time together. We have the weekend together though he likes to see his mates etc. I dont really have mates to see lol so im free, we usually have saturdays together, i dont know i just feel its lots of arguing over nothing.

I think your situation is charming in a way :tongue:

Reply 13

bethwalker85

9

Jeez sounds like he needs to remove that stick from his ass. If you're both getting in late then it doesn't make sense for him to expect you to cook all the time, it's not fair. If he wants food he can cook for you both. Or you could come up with the idea to take it in turns. And then do it like "I cooked, you clean" and then you're both mucking in.

Reply 14

donutaud15

22

Original post by SAhm95

yeah working means you can't cook right? nice reporting my post btw.

Paranoid much? I don't really see the need to report your post FYI

And yes ofc working means she can cook. Same goes for her boyfriend. Therefore he can cook too and your post was unhelpful

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Reply 15

Tiger Rag

22

are you his slave or something? I don't see why he can't cook. If he wants some food, he should really do it himself.

Reply 16

CrazyKittenLady

20

Half the responibilty, and plan easy homecooked meals when you are food shopping also slowcookers are great chick anything in in the morning, and then add some veg and mash and you have a super easy homecooked meal. But defiantly don't feel like you have to do everything you are both adults and equal :smile: