Hi guys.
I don't know where to start here, really. I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, and in that time I have never felt satisfied sexually mainly because (and without deliberately trying to sound crude) he's just so incredibly useless in bed. My last intention is to slag him off and give endless reasons as to why this is, It's.. well.. He just doesn't respond to any kind of "coaching" I try to give him, and seems perfectly happy just having a very quick "in and out", (again, sorry) then falling asleep. He doesn't fathom that there's a problem in that it leaves me frustrated and incredibly upset. Sometimes to the point that I feel I may cry.
I have tried so hard to talk to him sensitively about it but he gets upset, say's he "can't be a man if he can't satisfy his woman", assures me things will change but they never do. I try to coach him in foreplay but he "can't be bothered at all with that", we have sex dry and I end up in pain, bleeding and totally fed up afterwards.
I thought that I could cope with this as I love him to death. I would absolutely do anything for him, just now I'm so at the end of my tether about not being able to have sex it sometimes drives me to tears.
I'm only 22 and his family are trying to arrange a wedding for us. He's much older and they feel he should settle down soon, and while I am keeping a happy face on about it all (as I do love him very much), I just don't know if I can spend the rest of my life like this. We've had sex twice since christmas and both times were the usual 30 seconds of tearing me down below then he goes to sleep.
I have had boyfriends before who have made me feel incredible between the sheets, and often I do feel as though I'm missing out. Although I am never the type to cheat, I dare say that it is becoming more and more tempting as time goes on.
I'm going out of my mind. Soon I'm going to commit to this guy forever, yet I am making excuses now not to have sex with him. Am I being totally out of order? I wondered if anyone here has experienced anything similar or had any thoughts as to what else I can do.
Thanks.