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Lads, would you want to know?

If you split up with your girlfriend about a month ago and she discovered she was pregnant would you want to know?

I split up with mine (on good terms - just wasnt working out). I know deep down there is now way I can do this but I havent told anyone else (If I dont keep it which is highly likely then Id rather few people knew). I do need to talk to someone though and seeing as its his he seems the obvious choice.
I was on the pill and NEVER missed one - was late a couple of times but always took it within 12 hrs so god knows how this has happened - Im gutted.

Would you rather not know?

Thanks.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

MagicNMedicine

I think he has a right to know as he is as much a parent of this baby as you are. If he was to find out later on about this, and you had kept it from him, I would imagine he would be very upset that he wasn't informed

Reply 2

Boon!

In my opinion it's not a question of whether or not he wants to know, you should tell him anyway, even if you don't want him to be apart of it, as ultimately, what you want to do about it is up to you.

Also he might be willing to help you with any decisions you need to make.

Considering you ended on good terms relatively recently, I'd personally want to know, sure, I might freak out at first, but I would hold a good deal of the responsibility.

Reply 3

Reue

OF CORSE. You have no right not to let him know!!! If he decides he dosent wanna be involved, thats up to him.. but you have to give him that chance.

Reply 4

TheLameMonkey

I would want to know.

I would be supportive with whatever decision needed to be made though, it's not the man's perogative to tell a woman what to do with her body but all the same it would be the right thing to at least let him know.

Reply 5

The_Bear

1) You tell him, he forces you to keep it against your wishes. You post on TSR and we all jump on the bandwagon slating him.

2) You tell him, he tells you to get rid of it. You want to do that and you post on TSR and the religionists slate you.

3) You dont tell him and get rid of it. People slate you for being a bad person and the religionists slam you.

4) You don't tell him, don't get rid of it. When it's born (must be around December) wrap it up and give it to him for Christmas, when he opens it say "SURPRISE!!!"

I would plum for #4 if you videotape it and put it on youtube.

Reply 6

yellow96

Although I doubt that it would come to it, bear in mind that he could be extremely unhappy with you having an abortion/giving it up for adoption and make a huge fuss about it, meaning a lot of people could find out and take sides.

Reply 7

Reue

Id be majorly upset if my gf or ex gf had an abortion with my kid without telling me.

Reply 8

Minardi

He should know. I'd want to know, and I would be very annoyed if I found out from a third party later.

Reply 9

JudeX

lessthanthree

I really think he needs to know.

I mean, do you know what you want to do about it? and is it confirmed?

Yes its confirmed. I have no money to speak of, moved back home, no job - no partner now! I dont really see I have much of a choice in the matter. I can think of 100 reasons not to go ahead and to be honest not one good for for it.

Reply 10

smellielli

I would want to know, cause I'd like to think that I'm a decent guy, who would do the right thing and help out.

Reply 11

woeful_infatuation

you should definitely tell him so that he also has a right to make that decision with you. I'm not sure how old or young you and your boyfriend are but if you're both not ready and you still decided to not keep the baby, he should still know. if not for himself, he'll be more careful next time he's with a girl. cuz unlike you some people are very religious and totally against abortion, so if she decided to keep it (and if he's still at school) it might just ruin his life, taking care of something he wasn't yet ready for.

but i dont know you two and you might be ready, so just tell him and see what he says. GooD LucK!!

Reply 12

Steeps

Be careful with the way you approach him with it, I've often heard bunnyboilers use it as a way to wind up ex's. If you think he will handle the news well (as in not completely freak out on you) then it might be an idea to tell him, if you do decide you don't want to keep it you will need the emotional support and to know you did the right thing for both of you.

I hope whatever you decide to do it works out ok.

Reply 13

ExNihilo

only if he can take it.. if the news will disturb him dont do it

Reply 14

Bobbie W

of course I would rather know; it isn't fair to leave her in the lurch. Of course it opens up a whole can of worms. A kid is hard enough to deal with in a stable relationship.

Reply 15

Flank Runner

be honest, let him know, tell him how you feel and what you plan to do, the rest is up to him

good luck

Reply 16

Danny the Geezer

He has a right to know and also has every right to see the child.

Reply 17

Tufts

Reue

OF CORSE. You have no right not to let him know!!!

Actually she does have a right. There's no law saying she has to tell.

Morally perhaps its the best thing to do. But legally it isn't a rule.

Reply 18

987436987097643123245

is it even his?

Reply 19

Melissa85

I'm going to be the odd one out here. I wouldn't tell him. There is really no point. You seem like you know you don't want it. Telling him will not make him come back to you or want a relationship again. If anything by telling him you may get more hurt if he seems apathetic and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.