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    One of my close friends and I recently were involved with "classroom gossip". People were saying that we were going out and that I had a crush on her but it simply isn't true. She messaged me this morning saying that one of her friends said that I told her that I liked my friend. I was very confused about it and pleaded my case but I don't think she believed me. The fact that we were close friends may have rubbed off as me wanting more but that's not how things are.

    We only talked about this once and she tried to move on the conversation quickly but it got awkward. She stopped messaging me about it but I can see things may change in our friendship.

    Should I say anything to her to clarify things with her or should I just let her go? Part of me wants to speak to her to tell her that she's only a friend but I don't want to come across as too needy as I already said that. I don't know what to do because she's one of my few good friends and I don't want to lose her just like that.
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    If you consider her a good friend then speak to her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One of my close friends and I recently were involved with "classroom gossip". People were saying that we were going out and that I had a crush on her but it simply isn't true. She messaged me this morning saying that one of her friends said that I told her that I liked my friend. I was very confused about it and pleaded my case but I don't think she believed me. The fact that we were close friends may have rubbed off as me wanting more but that's not how things are.

    We only talked about this once and she tried to move on the conversation quickly but it got awkward. She stopped messaging me about it but I can see things may change in our friendship.

    Should I say anything to her to clarify things with her or should I just let her go? Part of me wants to speak to her to tell her that she's only a friend but I don't want to come across as too needy as I already said that. I don't know what to do because she's one of my few good friends and I don't want to lose her just like that.
    i think u should talk to her, if she doesnt want to then, just leave her. dnt waste ur time, best of luck hun.
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    Difficult one as only you know what she is like. It sounds like you are adept at not knowing when to stop digging.

    Either let it cool and if she asks then tell her.
    Alternatively you could drop her a note or have a quick word, but keep it short and to the point or you will look needy. You have to pick the right time and moment.

    Id probably say at the right time you appreciated her as a friend and hope it doesnt have to change. No idea if you wnat to mention her friend getting the wrong end of the stick. I assumed she wasnt keen.

    have had this situation with a protege just recently. He blurted, it got awkward and it changed. I told him not to but he ignored it. Wasnt then end of the world though after a bit he made new friends and found an actual gf who likes him.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Difficult one as only you know what she is like. It sounds like you are adept at not knowing when to stop digging.

    Either let it cool and if she asks then tell her.
    Alternatively you could drop her a note or have a quick word, but keep it short and to the point or you will look needy. You have to pick the right time and moment.

    Id probably say at the right time you appreciated her as a friend and hope it doesnt have to change. No idea if you wnat to mention her friend getting the wrong end of the stick. I assumed she wasnt keen.

    have had this situation with a protege just recently. He blurted, it got awkward and it changed. I told him not to but he ignored it. Wasnt then end of the world though after a bit he made new friends and found an actual gf who likes him.
    Maybe I can just pretend like nothing happened and then when I see her in class, I act like normal? If and only if she decides to act weird and distant do I bring it up then... But I don't even know when that right moment is. I just feel so bad for not saying anything now because she's probably thinking that I do like her and messaging her again will only reinforce that notion in her mind. At the same time, if i don't say anything she might feel that it was true that I wanted more and now that she found out, there's no need for me to be friends with her?

    Dunno, am I overthinking things?
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    Yes overthinking and overworrying. Which means if you talk you will probably fluff it. Chill out if she brings it up and you know shes not interested and you arent, then just say your happy to be her friend and leave it at that as though you know what you are saying. Things change, you meet new people dont worry, dont be needy and start to have some confidence in yourself.
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    Tbh anything that's serious should be done face to face. I wouldnt take anyone seriously that texts me their emotions. Let her be for a week then speak to her face to face, she'll take you more seriously. Plus dont ever ever beg anyone for friendship; friendship should come naturally. If you have to beg to be acknowledged then show her the door.
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    (Original post by Reader106)
    Tbh anything that's serious should be done face to face. I wouldnt take anyone seriously that texts me their emotions. Let her be for a week then speak to her face to face, she'll take you more seriously. Plus dont ever ever beg anyone for friendship; friendship should come naturally. If you have to beg to be acknowledged then show her the door.
    Do you mean don't seek for confirmation and ask her if we are still friends or not? Just let things go like normal and see how things pan out? I just want to know because it's bothering me that she was acting a bit disinterested and unresponsive earlier and it was quite uncharacteristic of her. We haven't talked since the conversation yesterday.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One of my close friends and I recently were involved with "classroom gossip". People were saying that we were going out and that I had a crush on her but it simply isn't true. She messaged me this morning saying that one of her friends said that I told her that I liked my friend. I was very confused about it and pleaded my case but I don't think she believed me. The fact that we were close friends may have rubbed off as me wanting more but that's not how things are.

    We only talked about this once and she tried to move on the conversation quickly but it got awkward. She stopped messaging me about it but I can see things may change in our friendship.

    Should I say anything to her to clarify things with her or should I just let her go? Part of me wants to speak to her to tell her that she's only a friend but I don't want to come across as too needy as I already said that. I don't know what to do because she's one of my few good friends and I don't want to lose her just like that.
    Classroom gossip? Basically, a bit like work gossip. Shouldn't believe it and if you both let it affect your friendship, then that's both your problems I'm afraid. If you both know you are just friends, ignore what everyone else is saying. What has it got to do with anyone anyway?

    I would try talking to her again and being firm with what you have said. Tell her how it's just classroom gossip and they have nothing better to talk about then make things awkward between a good friendship. Tell her it shouldn't affect your friendship because of other people's opinions and that you only like her as a friend.

    I had something like this at work for ages that we apparently liked each other or flirt all the time. We just ignored whatever anyone else was saying because 1. We know the depth of our friendship. Not everyone else. And 2. It's none of their business anyway haha


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    (Original post by Jammie_x)
    Classroom gossip? Basically, a bit like work gossip. Shouldn't believe it and if you both let it affect your friendship, then that's both your problems I'm afraid. If you both know you are just friends, ignore what everyone else is saying. What has it got to do with anyone anyway?

    I would try talking to her again and being firm with what you have said. Tell her how it's just classroom gossip and they have nothing better to talk about then make things awkward between a good friendship. Tell her it shouldn't affect your friendship because of other people's opinions and that you only like her as a friend.

    I had something like this at work for ages that we apparently liked each other or flirt all the time. We just ignored whatever anyone else was saying because 1. We know the depth of our friendship. Not everyone else. And 2. It's none of their business anyway haha


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    I know but she is thinking that the fact that we've gotten close is the reason that all this gossip started. We hang out a lot together but it's strictly platonic! I know this myself, we've never spoken about our friendship but we both see each other as friends.

    I don't think she can come to terms that a guy and a girl can be close friends without someone wanting more. It's really sad. I don't know what to say to her without making things worse.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know but she is thinking that the fact that we've gotten close is the reason that all this gossip started. We hang out a lot together but it's strictly platonic! I know this myself, we've never spoken about our friendship but we both see each other as friends.

    I don't think she can come to terms that a guy and a girl can be close friends without someone wanting more. It's really sad. I don't know what to say to her without making things worse.
    It doesn't matter if you two have gotten close that the gossip started. People will always find something to gossip about - which is something she needs to understand.

    Guys and girls can be close friends tbh, which is something else she has to accept. Most of my friends are guys and I prefer that because I find girls to be *****y and I have more in common with guys. Yeah, people say some **** sometimes but I always just ignore it and move on. If you both are just friends and are comfortable with that, it shouldn't matter what other people say.

    Tbh, she's not sounding like a great person to me by what has been painted to me. She seems to care alot about other people's opinions and seems to be a bit of a sheep. If she's willing to throw a good friendship away because she's listening to other people's opinions and are afraid of what others are saying, then it really is her loss - not yours.

    Unfortunately, you are both in secondary school and unfortunately, at that age -- people are sheep tbh and will follow "the crowd" to stop the rumours/gossip, but like I said its her loss if she is willing to throw a good friendship away to be a people's pleaser. Most likely, she will probably mature eventually, realise a mistake she has made and then apologise to you. When you leave school, you realise that the friends you have are most likely not going to be your friends anymore and it really doesn't matter what other people think.

    E.g. Like when I was at school, had all the popular kids... But now tbh, pretty much all of them are on the dole, having kids and doing **** all with their life! 😂


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    (Original post by Jammie_x)
    It doesn't matter if you two have gotten close that the gossip started. People will always find something to gossip about - which is something she needs to understand.

    Guys and girls can be close friends tbh, which is something else she has to accept. Most of my friends are guys and I prefer that because I find girls to be *****y and I have more in common with guys. Yeah, people say some **** sometimes but I always just ignore it and move on. If you both are just friends and are comfortable with that, it shouldn't matter what other people say.

    Tbh, she's not sounding like a great person to me by what has been painted to me. She seems to care alot about other people's opinions and seems to be a bit of a sheep. If she's willing to throw a good friendship away because she's listening to other people's opinions and are afraid of what others are saying, then it really is her loss - not yours.

    Unfortunately, you are both in secondary school and unfortunately, at that age -- people are sheep tbh and will follow "the crowd" to stop the rumours/gossip, but like I said its her loss if she is willing to throw a good friendship away to be a people's pleaser. Most likely, she will probably mature eventually, realise a mistake she has made and then apologise to you. When you leave school, you realise that the friends you have are most likely not going to be your friends anymore and it really doesn't matter what other people think.

    E.g. Like when I was at school, had all the popular kids... But now tbh, pretty much all of them are on the dole, having kids and doing **** all with their life! 😂


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    In person she's nice though. Things were going so smoothly between us until people started to notice. We would take selfies together and take pics on our nights out.

    It's just her messages to me yesterday seemed very serious and I was taken aback by all of it and I didn't know how to reply because it was so sudden.

    We haven't had contact since, no snapchat, whatsapp, facebook or any social media interaction. It's unusual because she usually pings me something by now.

    I'll probably not message her today since it's Valentine's day, so it's probably bad timing if I talked to her about that! But I'll try to keep you updated on what happens in the next week or so.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In person she's nice though. Things were going so smoothly between us until people started to notice. We would take selfies together and take pics on our nights out.

    It's just her messages to me yesterday seemed very serious and I was taken aback by all of it and I didn't know how to reply because it was so sudden.

    We haven't had contact since, no snapchat, whatsapp, facebook or any social media interaction. It's unusual because she usually pings me something by now.

    I'll probably not message her today since it's Valentine's day, so it's probably bad timing if I talked to her about that! But I'll try to keep you updated on what happens in the next week or so.
    Don't message her. Ignore her to her face in person. Pretend like she doesn't exist.
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    (Original post by 41b)
    Don't message her. Ignore her to her face in person. Pretend like she doesn't exist.
    I don't get the point of this. It's only going to make things worse
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One of my close friends and I recently were involved with "classroom gossip". People were saying that we were going out and that I had a crush on her but it simply isn't true. She messaged me this morning saying that one of her friends said that I told her that I liked my friend. I was very confused about it and pleaded my case but I don't think she believed me. The fact that we were close friends may have rubbed off as me wanting more but that's not how things are.

    We only talked about this once and she tried to move on the conversation quickly but it got awkward. She stopped messaging me about it but I can see things may change in our friendship.

    Should I say anything to her to clarify things with her or should I just let her go? Part of me wants to speak to her to tell her that she's only a friend but I don't want to come across as too needy as I already said that. I don't know what to do because she's one of my few good friends and I don't want to lose her just like that.
    Must be a good friend if she cuts of contact over a few rumours.
 
 
 
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