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Parents were married at my age and I've never even had an LTR. Feel like a failure! Watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hello,

    I wanted to vent a little and get some advice.

    I'm upset because at 25 I've never really had a proper relationship. I've only had one boyfriend who dumped me after a few months as he turned around and said he was 'not ready'.

    I've been an adult for many years now and I've never had a guy interested in me whatsoever. I've never been asked out (asked the guy above out myself) or had a guy tell me he likes me. I don''t even go for the best guys I go for nerds and unattractive men but not even they want me.

    Where could I be going wrong?

    Thanks.
    • #2
    #2

    If you're going for men you find attractive, you're never really going to have a serious relationship...
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    Why would you go for men that you aren't attracted to? Do you meet many guys in your day to day life?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,

    I wanted to vent a little and get some advice.

    I'm upset because at 25 I've never really had a proper relationship. I've only had one boyfriend who dumped me after a few months as he turned around and said he was 'not ready'.

    I've been an adult for many years now and I've never had a guy interested in me whatsoever. I've never been asked out (asked the guy above out myself) or had a guy tell me he likes me. I don''t even go for the best guys I go for nerds and unattractive men but not even they want me.

    Where could I be going wrong?

    Thanks.
    You did have success when you asked that guy out. Have you tried asking any other guys out? Just wondering, since it seemed to work for you once at least.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Why would you go for men that you aren't attracted to? Do you meet many guys in your day to day life?
    Because I liked their personalities. I go through peaks and declines in my social life in terms of meeting men depending on how busy I am. But I would have thought over the last 8 years I would have met someone I've had many hobbies, uni, societies, jobs, volunteering etc over the years but all guys look straight through me.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You did have success when you asked that guy out. Have you tried asking any other guys out? Just wondering, since it seemed to work for you once at least.
    Yes I did recently and I got rejected. Still nursing that wound at the moment. I asked other guys out before (my first at 18) and got rejected by every single one apart from that one guy It hurts and I'm embarrassed it's getting to the point where I'm disgusted with myself. I just want to be like an average girl I'm not even asking to be anyone special.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you're going for men you find attractive, you're never really going to have a serious relationship...
    Because I was willing to look past physical appearance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because I liked their personalities. I go through peaks and declines in my social life in terms of meeting men depending on how busy I am. But I would have thought over the last 8 years I would have met someone I've had many hobbies, uni, societies, jobs, volunteering etc over the years but all guys look straight through me.
    But surely if you like their personalities then they are attractive to you no? It's not just looks that can be considered attractive, you can be attracted to a person as a whole.

    Have you liked any guys in that 8 years? Is there a reason you didn't ask them out? You perceive it as them not noticing you but maybe they did but were too shy/didn't feel they had the opportunity to say something. Any one of those guys could be thinking the same "every girl just looks through me" but you didn't, but he doesn't know that does he?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes I did recently and I got rejected. Still nursing that wound at the moment. I asked other guys out before (my first at 18) and got rejected by every single one apart from that one guy It hurts and I'm embarrassed it's getting to the point where I'm disgusted with myself. I just want to be like an average girl I'm not even asking to be anyone special.
    Ah sorry to hear that, was just wondering.

    I'm a 23 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend, so I can empathise.

    My life feels like such a failure lol.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by R.Coleman)
    I can confirm you are infact a failure.
    I'm glad I gave you your kicks for the night then. Happy Valentine's Day
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm glad I gave you your kicks for the night then. Happy Valentine's Day
    A stupid question deserves a stupid answer.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Katarvi)
    But surely if you like their personalities then they are attractive to you no? It's not just looks that can be considered attractive, you can be attracted to a person as a whole.

    Have you liked any guys in that 8 years? Is there a reason you didn't ask them out? You perceive it as them not noticing you but maybe they did but were too shy/didn't feel they had the opportunity to say something. Any one of those guys could be thinking the same "every girl just looks through me" but you didn't, but he doesn't know that does he?
    Oh yes I found them attractive personality wise but not really physically but it always gets to the point where that doesn't matter. I think a lot of the time though I kind of make up their personality in my head... Like a fantasy or a projection. I think because they are kind of nerdy they will be sweet and caring but that's not always the case. Yeah sure I asked them out/told them I liked them and all but one did not feel the same. Even the one that said yes changed his mind within a few weeks.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm glad I gave you your kicks for the night then. Happy Valentine's Day
    You're not a failure. My friend met her boyfriend on Tinder and they're very happy. You should try it! Well probably not tinder but eharmony or match.com or something.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by R.Coleman)
    A stupid question deserves a stupid answer.
    Ok
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Shumaya)
    You're not a failure. My friend met her boyfriend on Tinder and they're very happy. You should try it! Well probably not tinder but eharmony or match.com or something.
    Yeah maybe I should try online...I'm terrified of being rejected on a mass scale though or people lying about their intentions. I suppose there is no other way bit to take risks even if I have to face more hurt and rejection.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ah sorry to hear that, was just wondering.

    I'm a 23 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend, so I can empathise.

    My life feels like such a failure lol.
    Yeah it's so hard... I think if I can't find any guys who are interested in my whilst I'm young then the future can only be much bleaker. It's like I'm done with love before it's even begun!
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    You've got a strong will to keep going like that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh yes I found them attractive personality wise but not really physically but it always gets to the point where that doesn't matter. I think a lot of the time though I kind of make up their personality in my head... Like a fantasy or a projection. I think because they are kind of nerdy they will be sweet and caring but that's not always the case. Yeah sure I asked them out/told them I liked them and all but one did not feel the same. Even the one that said yes changed his mind within a few weeks.
    Honest of you to admit that, I think a lot of people do it though.

    Me included.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    You've got a strong will to keep going like that.
    I'm just about ready to throw in the towel to be honest and give up on hope of finding love in this lifetime.

    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    Honest of you to admit that, I think a lot of people do it though.

    Me included.
    Thanks. I have to be honest because I don't want to do this anymore... I want something real not something dreamed up in own head.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,

    I wanted to vent a little and get some advice.

    I'm upset because at 25 I've never really had a proper relationship. I've only had one boyfriend who dumped me after a few months as he turned around and said he was 'not ready'.

    I've been an adult for many years now and I've never had a guy interested in me whatsoever. I've never been asked out (asked the guy above out myself) or had a guy tell me he likes me. I don''t even go for the best guys I go for nerds and unattractive men but not even they want me.

    Where could I be going wrong?

    Thanks.

    Relax do not worry...

    You do not have to be or do everything the same as they did...
    You are not your parents and do not live your life to please others.
    Now on a personal level if you have not met some decent yet to not feel pressured but maybe try to keep your eyes open...

    Also now people live longer and tend to commit themselve to relationships and marriage at a later age so it's ok.. you'll be just fine.

    It sounds a bit cheesy but love always comes when you lease expect it.. so maybe you need not bother too much... i duno...

    Just do not get too anxious
 
 
 
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