Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

should i end my relationship?? Watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    okay so I'm dating this guy and i really like him but from the beginning i've always been kind of second guessing dating him. a reason could maybe be because the last person i dated cheated on me but another reason could just be i'm not prepared for a relationship right now. it's been 2 and a half months now and i think i should maybe break up with him. i find myself always making excuses of why i cant hangout with him if he asks me to. he's such a nice guy and when i am with him i have fun and don't think of breaking up with him. but if i'm not 100 percent into it, shouldn't i end it? plz help.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Yes.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    nice guy
    have fun around him

    what more do u want srs
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    If you're not into it, you should end it. I mean like for me, my last relationship ended for no real reason, my ex wasn't a bad person in any way but I stopped feeling it and I let it going that way for a while and we ended up falling out and obviously breaking up.

    At first you might think you've made a mistake, or you want them back but that's just you not being used to being single. After a while, you'll be able to clear your mind and realise why it is you want it to be over. You shouldn't have to settle for someone.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    thank you this helped a lot! but follow up question, how would i go about doing it? he really likes me and i cant stand thinking he would hate me after i do this.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    if he's good yet " i find myself always making excuses of why i cant hangout with him if he asks me to"
    something's up with you not him
    why don't you want to hang around with him? does he stink fam?

    just calm it and chill with him
    you said you like it when you do so maybe you should spend more time with him
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    thank you this helped a lot! but follow up question, how would i go about doing it? he really likes me and i cant stand thinking he would hate me after i do this.
    I think he will, if he has any spine he will want nothing to do with you in honesty, and while I would never support you remaining in a relationship you don't want to, you will have to consider whether you value your friendship with him before you breakup.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by iluvarabdick)
    if he's good yet " i find myself always making excuses of why i cant hangout with him if he asks me to"
    something's up with you not him
    why don't you want to hang around with him? does he stink fam?

    just calm it and chill with him
    you said you like it when you do so maybe you should spend more time with him
    i just dont like him like i used to so thts why i dont really want to hangout with him. i dont know i sound like a hoirrble person but i'm really not i just honestly dont know what to do. i'm just confused idk
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    okay so I'm dating this guy and i really like him but from the beginning i've always been kind of second guessing dating him. a reason could maybe be because the last person i dated cheated on me but another reason could just be i'm not prepared for a relationship right now. it's been 2 and a half months now and i think i should maybe break up with him. i find myself always making excuses of why i cant hangout with him if he asks me to. he's such a nice guy and when i am with him i have fun and don't think of breaking up with him. but if i'm not 100 percent into it, shouldn't i end it? plz help.
    Nope, nopety nope, Get outta' there, if there is no spark there is no fire, end of. You can't second guess your way through a relationship, love shouldn't be played around with, regardless of whether he is nice or not. Just be friends, everything you described above is generally what friends do, if you were both super serious then either of you would jump at the chance of there comfort and time. I think you should end it ASAP, so you can reap the benefits of being single or 'looking for a relationship'.

    Follow up question: Depends on what type of person you are, if you're generally more reserved, then i'd suggest you break it off with a text and then a phone call or if you're gutsy arrange to meet [don't meet at each others houses, bad idea!] somewhere like a cafe and break it off there. Always ask to be friends after and always give an explanation why; tell them that there wasn't any spark or you weren't feeling it anymore.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meridian-S)
    Nope, nopety nope, Get outta' there, if there is no spark there is no fire, end of. You can't second guess your way through a relationship, love shouldn't be played around with, regardless of whether he is nice or not. Just be friends, everything you described above is generally what friends do, if you were both super serious then either of you would jump at the chance of there comfort and time. I think you should end it ASAP.
    I don't think you'll ever get into a LTR with an attitude like this, the spark goes when things get serious, it's your decision whether or not to give up on them after that, I could not remain friends with someone who gave up on me, whatever the circumstance.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meridian-S)
    Nope, nopety nope, Get outta' there, if there is no spark there is no fire, end of. You can't second guess your way through a relationship, love shouldn't be played around with, regardless of whether he is nice or not. Just be friends, everything you described above is generally what friends do, if you were both super serious then either of you would jump at the chance of there comfort and time. I think you should end it ASAP.
    thank you so much! and yeah thats what i was thinking, people in love WANT to spend every moment together.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    ^
    Ain't read the details, because I don't need to.

    If you're questioning it, then you shouldn't stick around in the relationship. It's 100% or 0. For your own sake. :cute:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    I don't think you'll ever get into a LTR with an attitude like this, the spark goes when things get serious, it's your decision whether or not to give up on them after that, I could not remain friends with someone who gave up on me, whatever the circumstance.
    but if I'm not 100 percent sure this is what I want, isn't it better to end it now rather than leading him on any longer?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    he's such a nice guy and when i am with him i have fun and don't think of breaking up with him. but if i'm not 100 percent into it, shouldn't i end it? plz help.
    Are you kidding me? This'll just keep happening over and over until you learn to accept that in some relationships your SO is a douche and will [...]
    Why throw away a perfectly good relationship that you're in now, for something that might be nothing compared to the one you threw away, just because you were paranoid that he will cheat on you??

    For the record, if you keep turning him down he'll want to break up with you for obvious reasons

    EDIT: forgot about reason 2, that changes everything
    If you do decide to break up, make sure you have time to get over reason 1 before starting another relationship, else history will repeat itself.

    All the best!!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    but if I'm not 100 percent sure this is what I want, isn't it better to end it now rather than leading him on any longer?
    I don't see why that would be the case, rarely are people 100 percent sure of anything, certainly there are many with personalities that prevent such judgements entirely. You have to consider it from a practical point of view.

    You value your friendship with him yes? If you did not you would not really be concerned with how to break it, a simple text would suffice.

    The question is does he value the relationship more than friendship? If so you will hurt him, you will lose a friend, in other words no one wins.

    He might even be angry at you for letting it get this far, you've already led him on in a way.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    I don't think you'll ever get into a LTR with an attitude like this, the spark goes when things get serious, it's your decision whether or not to give up on them after that, I could not remain friends with someone who gave up on me, whatever the circumstance.
    Refusing to be friends is simply being immature, if you can't learn to forgive and move on then you shouldn't be looking for relationship in the first place. I completely disagree in regards to you saying-"the spark goes when things get serious" psh, no it doesn't. Love is eternal and nothing less, the spark makes a flame, the flame simply changes colour when you grow older, it doesn't die and it doesn't wither.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SchoolAside)
    Are you kidding me? This'll just keep happening over and over until you learn to accept that in some relationships your SO is a douche and will [...]
    Why throw away a perfectly good relationship that you're in now, for something that might be nothing compared to the one you threw away, just because you were paranoid that he will cheat on you??

    For the record, if you keep turning him down he'll want to break up with you for obvious reasons

    EDIT: forgot about reason 2, that changes everything
    If you do decide to break up, make sure you have time to get over reason 1 before starting another relationship, else history will repeat itself.

    All the best!!
    i do like him but i just think it's wrong if i keep dating someone that i'm constantly second guessing, isn't it unfair if i stay in this relationship even if i'm second guessing it? i feel like that's leading him on ://
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meridian-S)
    Refusing to be friends is simply being immature, if you can't learn to forgive and move on then you shouldn't be looking for relationship in the first place. I completely disagree in regards to you saying-"the spark goes when things get serious" psh, no it doesn't. Love is eternal and nothing less, the spark makes a flame, the flame simply changes colour when you grow older, it doesn't die and it doesn't wither.
    Childish, how old are you 12? It is actually scientifically proven to be impossible to sustain the chemical reaction of 'love' in the first phrases of a relationship, it wades eventually, that is inevitable.

    Refusing to be friends with someone who does not respect you is not childish, it is called having self-respect
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    i do like him but i just think it's wrong if i keep dating someone that i'm constantly second guessing, isn't it unfair if i stay in this relationship even if i'm second guessing it? i feel like that's leading him on ://
    There is no easy way of doing it but you need to tell him that you are not feeling right for a relationship, and do it in person not by text or something. Let him go so he can find someone else.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by addiegirl123)
    i do like him but i just think it's wrong if i keep dating someone that i'm constantly second guessing, isn't it unfair if i stay in this relationship even if i'm second guessing it? i feel like that's leading him on ://
    and i'm not paranoid he will cheat on me, i know he wouuldn't but I just think that could be part of the reason why i don't want a relationship.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 14, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Break up or unrequited love?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.