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Funny exam answers...

devilschild

In an English language GCSE a few years ago I thought that the main question "describe the room you are sitting in" was so stupid that I did the whole question from the point of view of a zombie that the examiners were keeping in a prison cell and wrote it as though the exam was my sentence. Kinda strange but was only one from my school to get an A* in it so the examiner can't have thought it was that stupid, they were probably just bored with reading too many normal answers.

That is, infact, quite brilliant - but don't use your imagination that well too often - original thinking is considered dangerous by the conformity factories known as schools, and if they find out that you're thinking for yourself, there'll be trouble!

In year seven or eight (ah, so long ago...) my geography teacher told the class that someone, in reply to the question, "what is meant by relief", had written "the feeling i get when I have been to the toliet". Now I would have written "the delightful feeling experienced after emptying one's desperately over-filled bladder", but still, it entertained me...

Reply 61

musicman

flyinghorse

That is, infact, quite brilliant - but don't use your imagination that well too often - original thinking is considered dangerous by the conformity factories known as schools, and if they find out that you're thinking for yourself, there'll be trouble!

In year seven or eight (ah, so long ago...) my geography teacher told the class that someone, in reply to the question, "what is meant by relief", had written "the feeling i get when I have been to the toliet". Now I would have written "the delightful feeling experienced after emptying one's desperately over-filled bladder", but still, it entertained me...

I remember doing that paper...I think that's a really original idea!

Reply 62

PoisonJam

1

A Year 8 Geography debate about an incinerator and ways to make it more acceptable, we came up with:

- Painting it blue to camoflague with the sky (nevermind the huge gray fumes pouring out...)
- Burning cannabis in it so people got high and wouldn't care.

Good times!

Reply 63

Unregistered

PoisonJam

A Year 8 Geography debate about an incinerator and ways to make it more acceptable, we came up with:

- Painting it blue to camoflague with the sky (nevermind the huge gray fumes pouring out...)
- Burning cannabis in it so people got high and wouldn't care.

Good times!

me and my friend used to sit together in science until we got separated, and our moment of triumph was when we designed the worlds best greenhouse for a biology lesson. everyone else had really wank watering cans and stuff - we had a fully comprehensive hydroponic system :wink:

Reply 64

flyinghorse

crana

me and my friend used to sit together in science until we got separated, and our moment of triumph was when we designed the worlds best greenhouse for a biology lesson. everyone else had really wank watering cans and stuff - we had a fully comprehensive hydroponic system :wink:

That's just made me think of a year nine science lesson: it was during the Crest Award thingum, and we were investigating vitamin C. Anyway, under the pretense that we were investigating the vitamin C content of a banana, me and some mates spent a whole lesson, assisted by our teacher, trying to make narcotics out of banana skins (???). Completely pointless, but a great source of amusement at the time.

Reply 65

Unregistered

flyinghorse

That's just made me think of a year nine science lesson: it was during the Crest Award thingum, and we were investigating vitamin C. Anyway, under the pretense that we were investigating the vitamin C content of a banana, me and some mates spent a whole lesson, assisted by our teacher, trying to make narcotics out of banana skins (???). Completely pointless, but a great source of amusement at the time.

my friend also used to use physics lessons to sort & pack baggies. she had an..unconventional..part time job :smile:

(she left 6th form to pursue this full timein the end)

banana skin narcotics - sounds great. in chemistry we learnt, among other things, how to make handy switches for car bombs :smile:

our teacher was a pyromaniac and had all tehse stories like the time he was told to dispose of loads of old potassium from the lab where he was working and him and a mate took it all down to a quarry (full of water) and chucked in these like kg masses of potassium.. he said they made huge lilac flames and scared the hell out ofthe ducks

Reply 66

Unregistered

also i remember a Year 9 debate about .. i cant quite remember. i think it was about sex. in english. and we were discussing the different price lists for prostitutes or something (our schools in the red light district of nottingham which added interest).. i think we also had a debate in english once where we came to the conclusion that eating disorders were a form of natural selection. ouch.

Reply 67

Cellardore

11

musicman

I remember doing that paper...I think that's a really original idea!

i remember doing that paper too, haven't got a clue what i wrote tho :tongue:

Reply 68

btigershark

6

My friend took her A2 Theology exam last week. She was told to revise a specific topic as the teacher was sure that they would give her a question based on the topic so she took his advice and revised the topic. However, when she did the exam, there was no such question so she wrote one sentance saying

"sorry, but I was told to revise such and such topic which wasn't included on the paper, therefore I am unable to answer these questions!"

Reply 69

edufly

GCSE science papers : Dinty and Yogi decide to experiment on.....blah blah blah..

WHY DINTY WHY!

Reply 70

mussed

in an 'odd' or 'even' function question (Adv. Maths) - I missed the lesson on that - I wrote a rant about how odd and even don't have meaning for non-integral values of the domain. Since the domain was undefined, the question was fundamentally invalid in my opinion.

Edit: this is probably only understandable to mathmos :smile:

It was only 3% of the paper, luckily :biggrin:

.

Reply 71

Indelible

I remember in my GCSE IT exam where they award up to 5 marks for spelling and punctuation... Im dyslexic (looked that one up :wink:

) so it kind of annoys me when they do that.
I finished after 20 minutes of the hour being a bit of a know it all about the subject :tongue:

so i proceded to write a lengthly essay on the front of my exam paper about why its ridiculous that 5 marks should be given for spelling & punctuation in an IT exam when the exam SHOULD be taken on a computer if the school boards and government could get their acts together and so then I could spell and grammer check it.
I got an A, the the full 5 marks :biggrin:

Reply 72

Loki

9

I spent a paragraph talking about samurais in a welsh-language psychology a2 exam...and somehow managed to get joint-highest in the marks when it was returned.

Today I got bored writing half-way through writing an essay and went off on a tangent referring to how a certain piece of dialogue was the modern day equivalent of placing a bright neon-lit arrow with flashing lights outside the designated house with a banner stating 'Secret Gathering here' draped across the front.

I've done it in most exams.It's mostly to entertain myself as I find I get bored half-way through and need a small comfort to continue.

Reply 73

username9945

10

Dust

lol

my standard answer to a paper wen i jsut cant b asked... is i dont no! lol i aint one for orignality :P

In my science modular 2 i sat in june there was a question about the nitrogen cycle which i could not answer! I answered all of the other questions and went back to that same 1. I spent about 20 minutes on it! so with about 5 mins left i decided to do something very stupid, I wrote on each of the 3 lines:

OH WELL, I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THIS QUESTION, I PROBABLY NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND THIS QUESTION SO I AM SORRY I DID NOT ANSWER IT!
I did say sorry, do u think they will mark me down? Even so, there's no point in worrying! Whats done is done, I beta just pray that they count it as a wrong answer! :biggrin:

Reply 74

LS.

8

icetopaz_h454

I did say sorry, do u think they will mark me down? Even so, there's no point in worrying! Whats done is done, I beta just pray that they count it as a wrong answer! :biggrin:

Yes, I spent last summer worrying for a couple of days because I'd writen something very briefly about voyeurism (yes, I do know what it means!) on an English gcse paper (discussing TV programs I think?), but nothing came of it.

My English teacher told us about a time where she was marking an english creative writing paper - and a lad had wrote about meeting a girl at a party, and going out onto a field and...well, I'm sure you can guess the rest :wink:

. She said scripts like those have to be reported.

Reply 75

rts

7

mussed

in an 'odd' or 'even' function question (Adv. Maths) - I missed the lesson on that - I wrote a rant about how odd and even don't have meaning for non-integral values of the domain. Since the domain was undefined, the question was fundamentally invalid in my opinion.

Edit: this is probably only understandable to mathmos :smile:

It was only 3% of the paper, luckily :biggrin:

.

huh?

Reply 76

magicalsausage

10

In a Physics test (just a school test, not national) there was a question asking how a speed skater could reduce her friction to improve her speed. I said she should have plastic surgery to make her body more aerodynamic and I got the marks!

Reply 77

Tealer

mussed

in an 'odd' or 'even' function question (Adv. Maths) - I missed the lesson on that - I wrote a rant about how odd and even don't have meaning for non-integral values of the domain. Since the domain was undefined, the question was fundamentally invalid in my opinion.

BACK OFF FREAK!!

Reply 78

figgetyfig

2

musicman

I thought it was really funny cos everyone probably made it up (I know I did as the room I was in was pretty mundane), so they probably got 100-odd different rooms in all shapes and sizes!

I sat that paper, 2 years ago, right? WHY did so many people do the "describe" question, when the "inform" question was basically to write an article on any subject of your choice? anything at all. Surely that would be the best question to answer? pick something you know a lot about or have strong opinions on (I chose the clashes between religion and science), and you have an almost guaranteed A*.

A boy in my science class wrote a great answer to a biology question. Something about improving the quality of pork. He write about hiring personal trainers for the pigs and making them run 5 miles each morning or something.

I added a nice little paragraph to my GCSE maths coursework (geometry), in the conclusions. Something along the lines of:

"Although the other patterns all fit into my formula, pattern six seems not to. This could be because the way the shapes are arranged is slightly different. However, it could also be because pattern six is an awkward little blighter (I was tempted to write "bugger") and is trying it's best to make my life difficult. The other main conclusion I can draw from this investigation is that staring at triangle dotty paper for hours on end gives you a tremendously large headache."

Reply 79

Bigfooty

10

We had this teacher at secondary school and he was hilarious! He had such a wierd accent and used to say all the science words really funny - He used to tell us these ridiculous stories that we didn't believe Like this man in a lift who had his head decapictated and his brain was exposed he claimed it was a true story pfft yeah like he would be dead - He claimed he survived though Just thought I add that Cos he was the funniest teacher ever !!!!!! :biggrin:

Funny exam answers...

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