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Do I have a crush on my friend? OR is it sympathy? Watch

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    I'M CONFUSED.
    I've never had a crush on anyone (apart from once in Primary School which doesn't count) due to being in a girls Secondary School and Sixth Form.

    I made my first male friend in uni from October 2015. We became really close quickly, we used to talk from 11pm-5am. I found out he was interested when he made it obvious that he would confess soon (I acted dumb and he bought it).

    I panicked because I thought I didn't like him since his personality and appearance didn't tick the boxes of my usual type. So I tried putting him off by talking about my hygiene issues & dropped hints I wasn't interested.


    - I ALWAYS think and talk about him.

    - I get jealous when he's texting other girls who I haven't confirmed are his platonic friends.

    - Texting him was the best part of the day.

    - He found out my friends cousins showed interest in me. So he tried pursuing another girl and kept telling me the details with her. I was fuming & felt annoyed at the girl, but pretended to be happy for him.

    - I got annoyed when he didn't reply in time/often as usual.

    - We had a fight last week because he wasn't sharing his problem. He then drunk texted me confessing his feelings & ranting how I didn't feel the same and we should end being friends.

    - I was in denial that we stopped being friends till I saw him in uni. He seemed cold & was avoiding me. I felt a stab in my heart, that day I was crying before I fell asleep.

    - He lost faith in serious relationships after being cheated on, so he had serial relationships before. He made it obvious he wants something serious this time round.

    - After rejecting him, he started binge drinking again (he used to in the past). After realising this, I thought I could maybe be with him to stop hurting his feelings.
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    (Original post by sunshine97)
    I'M CONFUSED.
    I've never had a crush on anyone (apart from once in Primary School which doesn't count) due to being in a girls Secondary School and Sixth Form.

    I made my first male friend in uni from October 2015. We became really close quickly, we used to talk from 11pm-5am. I found out he was interested when he made it obvious that he would confess soon (I acted dumb and he bought it).

    I panicked because I thought I didn't like him since his personality and appearance didn't tick the boxes of my usual type. So I tried putting him off by talking about my hygiene issues & dropped hints I wasn't interested.


    - I ALWAYS think and talk about him.

    - Texting him was the best part of the day.

    - He found out my friends cousins showed interest in me. So he tried pursuing another girl and kept telling me the details with her. I was fuming & felt annoyed at the girl, but pretended to be happy for him.

    - I got annoyed when he didn't reply in time/often as usual.

    - We had a fight last week because he wasn't sharing his problem. He then drunk texted me confessing his feelings & ranting how I didn't feel the same and we should end being friends.

    - I was in denial that we stopped being friends till I saw him in uni. He seemed cold & was avoiding me. I felt a stab in my heart, that day I was crying before I fell asleep.

    - He lost faith in serious relationships after being cheated on, so he had serial relationships before. He made it obvious he wants something serious this time round.

    - After rejecting him, he started binge drinking again (he used to in the past). After realising this, I thought I could maybe be with him to stop hurting his feelings.
    no^
    you might end up hurting yourself and him more
    i was with you up until that point
    that aint a good reason at all

    give it more time...
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    (Original post by z33)
    no^
    you might end up hurting yourself and him more
    i was with you up until that point
    that aint a good reason at all

    give it more time...
    How much more time should I give? And how would I know if it's confirmed that I like him?

    Whilst talking to him for these past months. It felt like I had a bit of a crush on him, but I knew I was suppressing it ALOT because he's a different race to me so I knew my parents wouldn't accept him.

    I don't know if I managed to suppress it enough.
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    (Original post by sunshine97)
    How much more time should I give? And how would I know if it's confirmed that I like him?

    Whilst talking to him for these past months. It felt like I had a bit of a crush on him, but I knew I was suppressing it ALOT because he's a different race to me so I knew my parents wouldn't accept him.

    I don't know if I managed to suppress it enough.
    hm forget about your parents not accepting him
    and him binge drinking after rejection

    without any outside influence
    do you want to be with this man for the rest of your life?
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    (Original post by z33)
    hm forget about your parents not accepting him
    and him binge drinking after rejection

    without any outside influence
    do you want to be with this man for the rest of your life?
    If it is a crush, does it seem like a minor/moderate/major crush?
    I think I need time to think about this
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    Imo if you're wondering whether you have a crush on someone or not, then it's not a crush.

    A crush you know, you can't think about anything else. Maybe it's the beginning of a crush, for me it started like that sometimes. But he's not your crush (yet).
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    (Original post by Conkerr)
    Imo if you're wondering whether you have a crush on someone or not, then it's not a crush.

    A crush you know, you can't think about anything else. Maybe it's the beginning of a crush, for me it started like that sometimes. But he's not your crush (yet).
    Are you a male or female?

    What I described how long has that been going on for when you just began having a crush on someone?

    After he stopped talking to me, I was as hurt as when my best friend of 14 years stopped talking to me for a while. And I only knew him for 5 months.

    I don't know how else I can work it out. Especially since we cut ties.
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    I FORGOT TO MENTION

    Before speaking to him, I never used to care how I looked in uni. Some days I used to go to go uni without makeup. I didn't really put much focus on how my outfit looked.

    Ever since I began talking to him. I cant go a day without makeup and I always feel like I put focus on what I'm wearing to uni.
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    i think you have a crush on him, you wasnt expecting to as you cant help it sometimes who you have a crush on
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    Lmao gal. Isn't it obvious enough?? Yea sure its confusing:/ I doubt any guy would be THAT generous to spend that much time with you. Heck I would rather sleep than talk with mah best friend lol.
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    (Original post by sunshine97)
    Are you a male or female?

    What I described how long has that been going on for when you just began having a crush on someone?

    After he stopped talking to me, I was as hurt as when my best friend of 14 years stopped talking to me for a while. And I only knew him for 5 months.

    I don't know how else I can work it out. Especially since we cut ties.
    I'm a guy

    When I have a crush there are two possibilities: either it's basically love at first sight (I see the girl, maybe talk to her 2 or 3 minutes and I know I'm gonna like her) or it takes a few weeks, sometimes a few months maybe. At the beginning I don't see the girl as a potential girlfriend but after getting on really well with her I do.

    You seem to have a crush on him. But I still find it weird that you wonder if you have a crush. When I have a crush on someone I'm 100% sure that I do. But I don't know, maybe it's different for you.
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    I'd say you have a crush on him seeing as all my crushes have been like that, wondering if you have a crush on someone doesn't mean you don't, people are just different
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    (Original post by mkap)
    i think you have a crush on him, you wasnt expecting to as you cant help it sometimes who you have a crush on
    What makes you think I have a crush on him than rather than considering confessing to him out of sympathy?

    (Original post by KathrynVay.lord)
    Lmao gal. Isn't it obvious enough?? Yea sure its confusing:/ I doubt any guy would be THAT generous to spend that much time with you. Heck I would rather sleep than talk with mah best friend lol.
    I know he likes me. But I'm not sure if I like him, so are you trying to say I like him back too?

    (Original post by calicocollie)
    I'd say you have a crush on him seeing as all my crushes have been like that, wondering if you have a crush on someone doesn't mean you don't, people are just different
    So was all your crushes (whether its minor/moderate/major) like exactly how I described?
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    (Original post by sunshine97)
    What makes you think I have a crush on him than rather than considering confessing to him out of sympathy?



    I know he likes me. But I'm not sure if I like him, so are you trying to say I like him back too?



    So was all your crushes (whether its minor/moderate/major) like exactly how I described?
    pretty much yeah, I tend to get over my crushes easily and sometimes it can be hard to tell how much I like someone, I don't tend to properly fall for people until I'm in a relationship or at least heavily flirting with them for a while
 
 
 
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