Can never orgasm from sex

I've been sexually active for about three years, and I probably have sex once every couple of weeks, but I've never been able to climax from sex. Sometimes if it was dark, I'd just fake it. Even my "special friend" now can't do it for me - we're really sexually compatible and they're always telling me that I'm really good in bed, but sex for me just isn't that great, I can only orgasm when I do it myself.

And I've been with a few different partners, always the same story.

Reply 1

slurry90

Are you female? Some women cant orgasm vaginally and can only achieve it via clitoral stimulation. Can you achieve it that way?

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Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by slurry90

Are you female? Some women cant orgasm vaginally and can only achieve it via clitoral stimulation. Can you achieve it that way?

Posted from TSR Mobile

No, I'm male. And I know some girls might think that not ejaculating quickly is a blessing, but in reality, I just end up going for 30, 40 minutes, end up too tired to enjoy it anymore then feel embarrassed for the rest of the night.

Reply 3

alkaline.

do you watch porn? that might've desensitized you?

@unprinted you are usually wise af on these types of issues

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

unprinted

You don't have to come via intercourse, of course. Most women don't.

If you want to, it's not the porn that's probably the issue, it's more likely to be getting used to the different sensations of intercourse compared with the way you've been masturbating for years. Especially if you have been using a 'hard and fast' action, it would be worth getting something like a Fleshlight, which simulates the physical side of intercourse extremely well, and starting to come that way.

My other thought is how much are you enjoying the sex otherwise?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by unprinted

I have a fleshlight, although I don't masturbate much - I've been having sex fairly regularly for a few years, it's just I've never been able to orgasm from it. As for enjoying it, it's great! I love making people feel awesome, although it does start to get a little tedious after half an hour.

Reply 6

unprinted

And when you use it, do you come? If so, I'd be wondering if you know how vigorously some women like to have sex.

Otherwise, that's great: just accept you don't come from it.

If you tell partners that you're not likely to come from intercourse and you want them to let you know if they'd like to stop and do something else, you may be surprised at how warmly that's appreciated - at any moment, there are a lot of women lying down thinking 'I wish he'd come so this would stop...'

Eventually, you will.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by unprinted

And when you use it, do you come? If so, I'd be wondering if you know how vigorously some women like to have sex.

Well today she said she still walking funny after two days, so I must have been fairly vigorous!

Sometimes I come with the fleshlight, but it can take up to an hour.

Reply 8

unprinted

OK, I'm going to suggest that it's time to stop using your hand when you masturbate... unless that also takes ages.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

@alkaline @unprinted

my bf is pretty boring in bed. it's always the same routine. how can he spice things up? i'm really looking for good ideas. anyone?

Original post by alkaline.

do you watch porn? that might've desensitized you?

@unprinted you are usually wise af on these types of issues

i don't watch porn cos it's not healthy.

Original post by unprinted

i can't orgasm from both ways.

Original post by unprinted

they get tired after a while. and we both fall asleep.

Reply 10

alkaline.

Original post by Anonymous

@alkaline @unprinted

my bf is pretty boring in bed. it's always the same routine. how can he spice things up? i'm really looking for good ideas. anyone?
.

different positions lol?
ngl but I actually don't understand how people can do the same thing over and over again, do you not just feel it innately to do different things?

anyhow, I'm a virgin lol but I just get random ass ideas on stuff I'd like to do with a guy lmao so I'll just tell you some stuff that I'd want do and you could try them if you want - you might find some a bit wierd lol.

1. stop thinking of it as just sex, do you never just feel like an innate desire to completely explore your boyfriends body? not just take his dick but like explore him?

2. give details on your routine because idk what you already do and don't do

3. everytime you're around him just make everything kinky lol, like just imagine being a teen and really horny all the time and everything he does turns you on - this will actually give you ideas on stuff you can do as foreplay because ideas will come with scenarios - for example: you see him eating, damn that's hot, idea = spray whipped cream on his dick and lick it off , example 2 = you're both in the car either about to go somewhere or just come home, you look at him and he looks fit affff, why not tell him how hot he looks and progress to just **** him right there?, example 3 = why not shower together?

etc etc

ideas on how he can spice things up I'm not sure lol I'm sure unprinted will help

Spoiler

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 11

unprinted

Have you tried talking about what you'd like?

Reply 12

Ere9732

Hey dude, i have a similar problem. I can really only orgasm from self mastturbation or unprotected sex, which is damn annoying and doesn't happen a lot for obvious reasons. So with a condom i can last an hour or not orgasm at all. And i agree after half an hour or so it gets a bit tedious. Another problem is my girlfriend is very much the same. Has a hard time orgasming, we have to do a special position and that doesn't work half the time. So what im trying to say you're not alone. I love making people orgasm but when neither of us do its really hard for both of us....pun unintended.
Try butt stuff, but for you. I've never had an orgasm from it yet but they say its amazing, and it adds to the pleasure of sex/masterbation. Just be clean about it, haha.
Hope this helps

Reply 13

unprinted

Once more, you don't actually have to come from any particular form of sex. Doubly so if you can come from one (and preferably more) of them. Here, just agree between you that either can say 'enough' when they want... and then try some alternative condoms, starting with some sorts of non-latex ones.